


Missed Opportunities and Wrong Decisions

by Miffy



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drugs, F/M, Minor Character Death, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miffy/pseuds/Miffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Katniss transfers to another college, she meets a guy named Peeta Mellark. They quickly become friends and Katniss soon starts to wonder how things would be if they were more than 'just' friends. Unfortunately, things don’t go with Peeta as Katniss was hoping for and both of their lives take a different turn.</p><p>Will they ever make the right decision and find their way to each other or will it be too late?</p><p>College AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

‘Okay, that’s enough, dad. That was the tenth time you’ve sighed in less than an hour. Stop it’ I say annoyed.  
Guilt is written all over my father’s face. ‘I’m sorry Katniss. You really don’t have to do this. Just say the word and I’ll turn this car around and drive you to Georgetown instead’ he says pleadingly.  
He looks at me through the rear-view mirror, looking for a sign, but he’s not going to find it. It was both the hardest and the easiest choice I’ve ever had to make and I made a good decision. The right one. I really didn’t even have to think twice about it.  
‘Dad, it’s not your fault. And it’s not mom’s fault either, okay? It’s too late now anyway.. We’re going to Panem University instead’ I say, looking at the road ahead of us, instead of looking at my father. I don’t want him to see the disappointment, that I’m not allowing myself to feel, in my eyes and I can’t stand to see the guilt in his. ‘And it’s just one year’  
‘I just.. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. Your mom and I won’t blame you if you’ll change your mind now and want to go back to Georgetown’  
‘I know dad, but you know I want to be closer to home, and I’m sure Panem U will be just as great as Georgetown’. With that statement my dad finally drops the subject. I can’t have this conversation again, after it practically being the only conversation we had the entire summer. Yes, Georgetown had been amazing. It had been the best three years of my life so far. The classes were amazing, the professors were even better and I had made friends, that would be my friends for the rest of my life. But when we found out my mother has cancer, I wanted to be closer to home, so I decided to transfer from Georgetown to Panem U. If anything would happen, I could be at my mother’s side in two hours with my car. First, my parents weren’t all too happy with my decision to change schools, but I had already made up my mind and then I filed the paperwork.  
  
_‘You’re not transferring schools because of me, Katniss. Georgetown is the school of your dreams and this cancer is not going to stop you from beginning your fourth year there. Over my dead body!’ Lily Everdeen had said angrily, while the two of them had been sitting on the couch in the living room._  
_Over her dead body, that was exactly what I was afraid of. That my mom would die and I wouldn’t be here to say goodbye, or that Prim, who was now going to her senior year of high school, would have to take care of a household or a sick mother on her own, if our dad was busy working._  
_‘Mom, I already made up my mind and since I’m an adult, there’s not much you can do about it, except to accept it. Yes, Georgetown was great, but Panem U is also a great university and it’s closer to home. I just want to be close by if anything happens’ I explained – again._  
_‘You don’t have the responsibility to take care of me – of us. I don’t expect you to take it and I don’t want you to. You’re our child’_  
_‘Yes, but I’m not a child anymore, I’m 21 years old now. I can take care of you, if you need me to. That's what being a family means, right?’ I said._  
_I saw my mother well up. ‘Yes’ she says quietly, ‘I’m so sorry Katniss. I feel like I’m ruining your life..’ and a tear ran down her cheek._  
_Now I was battling my tears. ‘You’re not. I’m doing this because I want to’_

And I really wanted to. If being closer to my family in this difficult time meant transferring to Panem U and leaving my dream school and the few friends I’d made there, I would. And I did.  
My mom had started chemo therapy in the summer and had to continue taking the therapy while I was away at school.  
It had been a hard summer. She was weaker, slept more and her hair had started to fall out, so she decided to shave it off completely and make a wig out of it. We’d tried to make the best of it. On the good days me and my family went sailing with our boat, on the bad days we had movie marathons. If my mother and Prim got their way, we would watch a chick flick, if my dad and me got our way, we would watch a James Bond movie.  
My mother never let all of it bring her down. She was certain that with the luck we’ve had a couple of years ago, luck would be on her side now too. I was afraid that the universe was keeping things in balance after the luck we’ve had of winning a large sum of money and was now taking back our so-called luck by giving my mother cancer. I didn’t tell her about this ridiculous thoughts, of course.  
‘Are you looking forward to your classes?’ my dad asks.  
‘Yes, I hope they are as interesting as in Georgetown’ I answer.  
‘You don’t have to do this..’ my dad says again.  
‘I know, because you keep saying that. I almost get the feeling that you don’t like having me this close by’ I joke.  
‘You know I love you and I love having you just two hours away, but I want you to have an amazing time at college. So, if I can’t convince you to go back to your old school, I’ll remind you to the promise you made your mother’

 _‘I love you so much, Katniss and I’m so proud of you, but you’re not spending your last year at college taking care of your sick mother, like it’s a part-time job. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to go back to Georgetown? You don’t need to do this’ my mother reminded me again._  
_‘Yes, I’m sure’ I said resolute._  
_‘Fine, but don’t think that I’ll allow you to come back home every weekend. Or every other weekend, for that matter. You can come home one weekend a month,’ my mother says. ‘but only if you want to’ she quickly added._  
_‘What? No, I’m-‘ I said, before my mom interrupted me._  
_‘Please, honey, knowing you’re doing well in college and having a good time’ she had winked when she had said this and I cringed inwardly, ‘will make me really happy. So, promise me that you won’t think too much about my cancer and that you’ll try to have great year at Panem U’_  
_‘I promise I’ll try’ I said and I wiped a tear from my cheek._  
_‘Come here’ my mom said smiling, before she gave me a hug._

‘Are you sure you don’t need my help moving into your dorm?’ my dad asks me after we’ve had some lunch nearby the campus.  
‘Yes, this isn’t my first time moving into a dorm. I’ll be fine and I don’t want you to be to long gone from home’ I say, while were walking back to the car.  
‘Katniss’ my father starts and he grabs my shoulders so he can look me in my eyes, ‘Prim and your mother are doing fine. Stop carrying the world on your shoulders, that’s my job’  
‘Sorry. I promise I won’t worry as much anymore’ I say.  
‘Thank you. Now are you sure you want to move in without my help?’  
‘Yes, I’ll manage just fine’ I say, giving my father a convincing smile and we continue walking to the car.  
‘When are you going to meet up with Gale?’ my dad asks.  
Gale. He was my best friend in Junior high. He moved away after sophomore year in high school and we lost touch. I haven’t spoken with him in almost 5 years, but when he found out that I was transferring to his college, he send me a message that he was excited that I was going to Panem U and that he wanted to catch up. I’m not going to lie, I’m both excited and nervous to see him again. I had a huge crush on him when I was 16 years old and I hated it when people thought we were related, just because we look a little alike. Yes, our skin is both olive toned and we both have dark hair and grey eyes. But where my hair is raven coloured, his is a dark brown and where my eyes are more of a silvery grey, his are of a dark grey.  
As a teenager I had a friendship with him that was so natural, it felt like a second skin. We understood each other with one word and now after all these years, our paths have crossed again. Maybe it was faith?  
‘Earth to Katniss?’ I hear my dad say. I guess I was tuned out a little too long.  
‘Sorry.. Tomorrow we’re going to grab a cup of coffee’ I answer. I feel my mouth turn into a slight smile, by the prospect of this meet up.  
‘And you are looking forward to this coffee date!’ my dad says joyful, catching my smile.  
‘It’s not a date!’ I quickly say, ‘It’s just two old friends catching up over a cup of coffee. Nothing more, nothing less. So do me a favour dad and don’t tell mom or Prim I’m on a date with Gale, because it’s not a date’ I say and I try to look strict.  
‘Okay, I won’t’ he says smiling and we arrive at our car.  
We get my luggage out of my dad’s Range Rover. It’s not much, only a duffle bag, a backpack and a suitcase, because I’ll spend at least one weekend a month at home.  
‘I’m proud of you’ my dad says and he gives me a hug.  
‘I’ll see you in a couple of weeks dad’ I say in his embrace.  
He lets me go and sighs. ‘We’ll see about that’

#

 

Armed with my luggage, my class schedule and a Panem U information folder, I walk into the dorms, looking for my room. I just learned that I have a roommate and that 304 is my room number, but now I just need to know where this room actually is. I walk around a corner, when I feel my face collide with a chest. A broad and strong chest, wrapped in a blue shirt.  
‘Ouch!’ I hear myself say and my hand goes to my nose. ‘Watch where you are going!’ Up until this point I hadn’t made eye contact with this broad-shouldered guy and the moment I look up to meet his gaze, I wish I hadn’t. His eyes are the same colour as a clear blue sky, unlike I’ve ever seen in my life and they are gorgeous. He has blond curls that reflect the sunlight and they look incredibly soft.. I can almost hear his curls begging me to touch them. And when my nose starts working again, I smell his scent: a faint mixture between a musky scent and.. cinnamon?  
His full, pink lips turn into a smile. ‘Sorry, I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going. Are you okay?’ he asks, sounding sincere. It’s almost impossible to be mad at this guy: he looks like a God, smells like one and he seems like a genuinely nice person. But I do my best and give him my infamous scowl.  
‘I’m fine. Just watch where you’re going the next time’ I say and I try to walk away and continue my search for my room, but he grabs my wrist to stop me.  
‘Wait! Would you like to come to this party my fraternity is throwing tonight? So I can make this up to you?’ he asks me, with a slight smile.  
_Excuse me?!_ What does this guy mean with that? That I’m some kind of loser who can’t get into parties without someone inviting me? Or does he think he gets to hook-up with me at this party, as a way “to make it up with me”?  
‘No, thank you’ I say scowling, this time without effort. I pull back my wrist and walk away.

#

  
After finally finding my room, I meet my roommate. I guess it pays-off if your family has money and you know a member on the school board, because my room is more like a two-bedroom apartment. It has two bathrooms, a living room space and a small kitchen. My ‘room’ is a dream, my roommate – not so much. She’s a sarcastic and stubborn girl, named Johanna Mason, who apparently doesn’t mind getting naked in front of me, even though we just met ten minutes ago. I know I don’t always make a good first impression on people, so I hope that my first impression of Johanna isn’t the right one either.  
‘Just to be sure, are you gay?’ Johanna asks me.  
‘No’ I answer.  
‘Than why are you checking me out?’  
‘I wasn’t, I was looking at your tattoo on your lower back’ I answer. It’s a compass and in the middle the letters CM are inked.  
‘Good, because I like to walk around naked at home’ Johanna answers. _Great._  
‘What’s your major?’ Johanna asks me.  
‘Applied Earth Sciences, you?’ I answer.  
‘So, where did you transfer from?’ Johanna asks me and ignoring my question, while putting a shirt on. _Thank God._  
‘How did you know I transferred schools?’ I ask confused.  
‘Because I study AES too and I’ve never seen you at Panem U in three years’ she answers.  
‘Georgetown’ I answer. Johanna whistles.  
‘You left Georgetown? Why?! You got kicked off, didn’t you? Were it drugs? No, you seem like a good girl. You had an affair with a married professor, didn’t you?’ Johanna rambles, looking amused.  
‘No, I left because I wanted too’ I say, hoping she’ll drop the subject.  
‘Why?’ Johanna asks.  
‘To be closer to home’ I say curtly, hoping that will stop her inquiry. Johanna just rolls her eyes and starts reading a magazine.  
‘So are the classes here good?’ I ask, hoping to sound friendly, because I don’t want to have a hateful relationship with my roommate.  
‘Yes, but the parties are better’ she says with a sly smile.  
I wasn’t much of a party-goer in high school. I was always to busy studying or working, but after we won the money in the summer before my Senior year, I didn’t have to work anymore and I had more free time. I started to have time I could waste on normal teen stuff, like shopping and going to a dance. In college I really started to like parties. They give me the opportunity to unwind after a hard test or a busy week.  
‘Good. I hope the guys around here are easy on the eyes too’ I say smiling.  
Johanna smiles. ‘That sounds like the roommate I wanted! If you keep talking like that, we could actually become friends’  
‘Well, I already saw your junk, so becoming friends seems like the logical next step’

Johanna and I are eating some chips and are watching Season 3 of Orange is the New Black when I get a text message from Gale.

 **Gale 5:12pm:** _Hey Catnip, having a party tonight at my place. Wanna come?_

‘Johanna, a friend of mine is having a party tonight. Would you like to come?’ I ask.  
‘Well, of course, brainless. I’m not going to spend one night of my life being bored and eating bad chips, if I can go to a party’ Johanna answers.  
‘Great, because this friend lives of campus and since you have a car..’ I say, trying to be subtle.  
‘What? I didn’t think so, Brainless! I’m not drinking soda all night, so I can drive your sweet, drunken ass home!’ she yells.  
‘Fine, I’ll drive. And if we’re both to far gone to drive, we’ll walk. I don’t think it’s that far’

 **Katniss 5:15pm:** _Sounds like fun. What’s your address?_

#

 **  
Katniss 8:39pm:** _Is everything okay at home? What are you guys doing?_  
**  
Prim 8:40pm:** _Yes, everyone is fine. We’re watching The Voice._  
  
**Prim 8:41pm:** _Are you going to do this every day? Checking up on us through texts?_  
  
**Katniss 8:41pm:** _Maybe.._  
  
**Prim 8:42pm:** _Stop! You know mom and dad want you to have a normal college experience, whatever that means, but you should take advantage of that :p Go have fun! They’ll be really upset if they find out you’re already checking up on us._  
  
**Katniss 8:43:** _Then don’t tell them!_  
  
**Prim 8:43:** _I won’t, I’ll tell them I’m texting Marvel_  
  
**Katniss 8:44:** Are you and Marvel still together??!!  
  
**Prim 8:45:** _Don’t start again, you don’t know him.._  
  
**Katniss 8:45:** _I know his type..!_  
  
**Prim 8:46:** _How would you know? It’s not like you’ve dated a lot of guys. If you would get to know him, you’d like him._  
  
**Katniss 8:47:** _I doubt it.._  
  
**Prim 8:47:** _Stop worrying about me. I can handle Marvel. What are you going to do tonight?_  
  
**Katniss 8:48:** _I’m going to a party Gale invited me to, with my roommate. Tell mom and dad._  
  
**Prim 8:49:** _They are really proud of you :p We all wish you a great time, have fun, big sis!_

#

  
After 10pm Johanna and I go to Gale’s house. It’s a 10 minute walk from our dorm, but with the car it takes us three times as long. We’re not driving this route again..  
‘Tell me about this friend who invited you’ Johanna asks me, no _orders_ me.  
‘His name is Gale and we grew up together. He moved away when we were 16, so I haven’t really seen him in 5 years’ I answer.  
‘Is he hot?’ Johanna says with a smirk.  
‘That’s all you wanted to know about him, isn’t it?’ I ask.  
‘Yup’ she answers. She stops the car and we get out. ‘Answer me, Brainless!’ Johanna says.  
‘Not if you keep calling me that’ I say scowling.  
‘But it’s my special nickname for you’ she whines, ‘and I’m definitely calling you that if it’s bothering you so much’ she adds laughing.  
I roll my eyes at her and we walk towards Gale’s house. The party is already going strong. Loud dance music is coming from inside the house and outside there are people smoking, drinking or having a private party.  
‘This is a frat party?’ Johanna asks, with a hint of disdain in her voice.  
‘Apparently’ I say, when I see a fraternity logo on the roof. ‘Why? Are you to good for a frat party?’ Looking at the logo, I see Gale with another guy on a balcony. They are talking and pointing at their view. That moment he sees me. He gives me a broad smile and he waves at me. I wave back at him and he walks back into the house.  
‘A party is a party, Brainless. Who were you waving at?’  
‘So, I didn’t hear a little bit of disdain in your voice?’ I say smiling.  
‘No, Brainless, only surprise. I’m surprised a prude like you would take me to a frat party’ she throws back.  
‘I’m not a prude!’ I say scowling.  
‘Please, I saw your granny panties’ she says, smiling wickedly. I roll my eyes at her for the fourth time this evening.  
‘So, you did decide to show up’ I hear someone say behind me. I turn around and see a guy with familiar blonde curls walking towards me. It’s the guy who bumped into me in the hallway.  
‘This is your frat party?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes’ he says, smiling a sweet smile. ‘How’s your nose?’ he asks me.  
‘My nose is fine’ I say annoyed.  
‘Would you girls like something to drink?’ he asks, still looking at me.  
‘Catnip!’ I hear Gale yell, while he walks out of the house.  
‘Gale!’ I say and he wraps me in his arms for a hug. I return his hug and I have to admit that he smells really good. It’s not a scent I can easily describe, but it’s manly, it’s a little salty. It’s almost as good as the blonde guy’s scent..  
‘It’s so good to see you again. How’ve you been?’ he asks, but before I have a chance to answer, he adds: ‘I see you already met Peeta’  
‘Not really..’ I say.  
‘Peeta, this is Katniss Everdeen. The childhood friend I told you about. Katniss, this is Peeta Mellark, my best friend and vice-president of Delta Pi’ Gale says as he introduces us.  
Peeta, apparently, gives me a broad smile, but I think I see a flash of disappointment in his eyes before he shakes my hand. ‘We actually did meet this afternoon’ Peeta tells Gale.  
‘Yes, but you never introduced yourself’ I say and I try to smile. ‘This is Johanna, my roommate’ I say, introducing Johanna, so the attention shifts to her.  
‘Do you guys want something to drink?’ Gale asks us.  
‘Absolutely’ Johanna says. ‘Lead the way, Handsome’

Gale and I spend the first part of the night catching up on the porch with a drink in our hands. We talk about my old high school classmates Gale still remembers, his time at Panem U (especially the fact he’s Delta Pi’s president), my time at Georgetown and our families.  
‘I heard your mother has the big C, I’m sorry. Can’t be easy’ he says.  
I finish my beer before answering. ‘It’s not’ I’m silent for a second. ‘Let’s get another drink’  
Gale, probably sensing I don’t want to talk about my mother’s illness, asks if I want to do some shots.  
‘Why the hell not?’ I answer.  
The second part of the night I spend trying to forget I’m pissed at the universe. Pissed because my mother has stage 3 cancer, pissed that I’m not attending Georgetown anymore (even though that was my own choice) with my best friend Madge and pissed that some asshole threw his drink over my shirt. Thank God it’s a black one. I do shots with Gale, play beer pong with Johanna and her new ‘friend’ and dance with Gale. After dancing for a while we take a break and share a joint.  
Neither Johanna nor I are fit to drive in our drunk (and a little high) state, so we walk the 10 minutes home. It both sobers us up a bit and when my head hits my pillow, I’m so exhausted I forget to take off my dirty shirt.  
My parents can be proud.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s after two o’clock when someone wakes me by pulling my lower body of my bed.  
‘Wake up Brainless! You have to get my car!’ Johanna yells. ‘I’d drive us to the party, you’d drive us back – that was the deal’  
‘I got us back, didn’t I?’ I say into my pillow.  
‘You were also supposed to get the car back. You were the one who wanted to drive over there in the first place!’ Johanna says and she grabs one of my shoes and throws it at my arm.  
‘Ouch!’  
‘Next one goes to your head’ she promises me.  
‘Fine, I’m going, I’m going. Let me just freshen up a bit first’ I whine. ‘Do we have coffee? I think my brain is dying..’  
‘No, because we didn’t do groceries. Pick some coffee on your way back. Or even better, bring some groceries’  
‘Why can’t you do it?’ I say as I close my bathroom door.  
‘I’m paying for gas, aren’t I?’ I hear Johanna say before she goes back to her own room.

#

  
After I finish showering and I have put some clean clothes on, I leave to get Johanna’s car. My head still feels like it got hit by a train, so I put my sunglasses on. The 10 minute walk takes me 20 minutes and I can only think of two things: coffee and more coffee.. When I arrive at Johanna’s car I hear someone calling me my name.  
‘Katniss! Hey, what are you doing here?’ Peeta asks me, with a dazzling smile. How does he have the energy to give me a smile like that? Isn’t he hungover at least a tiny bit?  
‘Hey, Peeta’ I say, trying to give him a polite smile.  
‘I’m picking up Johanna’s car. We left it here this morning’  
‘Safe call’ he says smiling. ‘Are you headed back to campus? Could I maybe get a ride?’  
‘Sure, but it’s three times as long as walking..’ I say. I hope he doesn’t get the feeling that I don’t want to drive him, it just seems inconvenient to me.  
‘I don’t mind, unless it’s inconvenient for you..?’ he says, looking a bit shy.  
‘No of course not, it’s not a problem at all’ I say and I give him the warmest smile I can muster with my hangover.  
‘Did you like the party?’ Peeta asks, when we drive out of the street.  
‘Yes, I did. Did you?’ I ask.  
‘Yes. I met some new people, that’s always fun’ he says smiling.  
‘So, why do you need to go to campus?’ I ask.  
‘We ran out of coffee and there is this new coffee place on the campus I wanted to try out’ he answers.  
‘There’s a coffee place at the campus?’ I ask, feeling my mood lifting at this statement.  
‘Yes, it’s called Dodici, because it’s the 12th branch they’ve opened it the state’ he says smiling. ‘Dodici means twelve in Italian’ he adds.  
‘I know’ I say.  
‘Sorry..’ he says, blushing. ‘I didn’t mean to sound as a wise ass or make you feel stupid. Or imply that you are.. were.. Sorry!’ he says. He covers his face with a hand, but I can still see his mortification in his beet-red cheeks.  
I can’t help but laugh at his embarrassment. Now it’s my time to apologise. ‘Sorry, I didn’t meant to laugh at you and it’s okay. My grandmother is actually Italian so I speak it quite fluently’  
‘Really? That’s so cool!’ he says, looking impressed.  
‘Are you bilingual?’ I ask.  
We keep taking until we arrive at Panem U and I’m surprised to find myself feeling disappointed that we’re already back at the campus. I think Peeta does too, because he asks if I want to grab a coffee with him.  
‘Sure, I really need some caffeine’ I say giving Peeta a smile, which he enthusiastically returns.  
As the considerate roommate I am, I text Johanna to ask how she likes her coffee. Peeta leads the way to the coffee place and we talk about how annoying siblings can be, when Johanna returns my message.

  
Johanna 3:22pm: _Just like I like my men: strong and black._

  
I roll my eyes.  
‘Something wrong?’ Peeta asks me kindly.  
‘No, just my roommate thinking she’s clever’ I answer.  
‘Johanna, right? Have you two known each other for a long time?’ Peeta asks me.  
‘No, we just met yesterday’ I answer and we walk into the coffee place. It’s nothing special, but it looks nice. It kind of reminds me of Starbucks.  
‘Really? And how is she as a roommate so far?’  
‘Insufferable’ I joke, ‘No, she’s okay. I actually had a roommate once that stole things from me, so as long as Johanna doesn’t take my stuff, I’m happy’  
‘Really?’ Peeta asks, looking stunned. ‘  
Yup and the weird thing is she introduced herself as Foxface to everyone, so no one knew her real name. It was so odd..’  
Peeta laughs. ‘Yeah right. You have to be making this up. A girl who’s a kleptomaniac and doesn’t want anyone to know her real name? I can’t believe it’  
‘I swear! I’m not a liar!’ I say with a broad smile and I slap his shoulder slightly. Wow his shoulder is hard..  
‘Okay, okay, I believe you’ he says, still laughing.  
‘You better’ I say. It’s our turn to order, so I order a large coffee and a large cappuccino. ‘What do you want? My treat’ I say.  
‘Black would be great, but them I’m buying us some pastries’ he says.  
After hearing the word ‘pastry’ my stomach starts to grumble embarrassingly and I realise I’m famished. I haven’t eaten all day.  
‘I’ll get you an extra cheesebun’ Peeta promises me, after hearing my stomach.  
We sit down on a bench with our coffees and pastries when I notice the name ‘Mellark’ on the bag.  
‘Mellark? Are they family of yours?’ I ask.  
‘Yes, my family owns a bakery and they made a deal with the owners of Dodici to sell our baked goods here’ Peeta explains.  
‘That’s great! So if you really miss home, you can just get a cheesebun?’ I say and I take a bite of the bun. ‘O my God.. they are delicious..’ I say, mesmerised by the bun that just seemed to melt in my mouth. I take another bite and I actually moan..  
Peeta looks at me with an intense gaze. ‘I’m glad you like them’ he says after a while and he takes a sip out of his coffee.  
I can feel myself starting to blush. ‘I should go home. Johanna’s coffee is getting cold’ I say, ‘Thank you for the cheesebuns and I’m sorry I ate all of them..’  
Peeta laughs and his laugh is contagious. ‘Don’t worry about it’ I get up to leave when Peeta asks me something. ‘You have business economics tomorrow too, right?’ he asks.  
‘Yes, how did you know that?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Sorry, I don’t want to seem like a creeper..’ Peeta begins and his cheeks turn a soft pink, ‘Gale told me you study AES and I think I saw Johanna in that class a couple of times’ he answers.  
‘Well that does make sense’ I joke, ‘Johanna isn’t exactly hard to miss, even in a large crowd’  
‘She is when you're in that crowd’ Peeta says and he winks. ‘Save me a seat tomorrow?’ he asks.  
‘I’ll try’ I say and I continue my walk to my dorm.  
Did he just flirt with me? And why didn’t it annoy me like it usually does?

#

 

‘What took you so long?’ Johanna demands. ‘Was the entire student body getting a coffee at the same moment or did you get lost, Brainless?’  
‘A simple ‘thank you’ would be sufficient enough’ I say sarcastically while handing Johanna her coffee.  
‘For what? A cold coffee?’ she asks with a bitchy tone.  
‘If you put some ice in it, you have an iced coffee. If you want it warm, you can put in the microwave’ I say.  
‘You can put it in the microwave’ she repeats me with an annoying voice, as she walks to the microwave to heat up her coffee.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading! :)

Every Monday morning Peeta and I have business economics together and we always sit next to each other. Johanna is supposed to attend this class too, but as she so cleverly explained: ‘I love that we both do AES, than I can skip all of my morning classes and just copy your notes’. In other words, I had to make amazing notes for the both of us, or she would wake me every morning by throwing a glass of water in my face. I wasn’t going to risk that again..  
The only problem was that it’s really hard to concentrate with Peeta next to me. As if his whole physic (or his smell..) isn’t distracting enough, he continuingly distracts me by talking (what I, strangely enough, don’t even mind) or by playing Hangman – like we’re doing now.  
‘Okay, that’s not a word’ I whisper. It’s my turn to guess the word. It’s a seven letter word and I’ve only guessed 3 letters so far, so on paper it now says _ _ _ _ ace.  
‘Yes it is and you know this one, but relax, I’m not going to let your hangman get hanged. You can have a couple of more chances. I’ll just give him a pair of glasses or a hat’ he whispers back smiling.  
‘Okay, the ‘F’’ I whisper.  
‘Jeej, good thinking Katniss’ he whispers.  
Now it says f_ _ face. ‘Foxface!’ I yell through class and I slam my hand victoriously on my table.  
All of my classmates look at me and Haymitch, our professor, stops talking. ‘Yes, Ms. Everdeen?’ he asks, looking annoyed, but then a small smile graces his face. ‘Did you want to share something with the class?’  
‘No, thank you, _professor_ Abernathy’ I answer, feeling my cheeks burn up.  
‘Are you sure? Because I could swear I heard you scream the word ‘Foxface’ through our class?’  
‘No, there’s nothing I want to share’ I reply with a, hopefully, convincing smile.  
‘Then let’s continue’ Haymitch says, and he continues his lecture. Haymitch Abernathy is a close friends of my family and he’s a professor at Panem U. He’s also on the school board and I got him to thank for a successful transition from Georgetown to Panem U. I guess I should also thank him for my dorm room.  
He knows I hate to be the centre of attention, so I have no doubt he was enjoying our little conversation, at my expense, immensely.  
Next to me Peeta is trying to hide the fact that he’s cracking up, so I poke him hard with my pen. 

 

* * *

 

 

As the weeks go by I spend a lot of time with Peeta. We eat lunch together almost every day and on Wednesday’s we go to the study hall together to study. I don’t think I’ve ever become such good friends with anyone in such a short time, not even with Madge or Gale. With Gale it was different, because our parents were friends, so we’ve been playing since we were toddlers and Madge was just always around because we were roommates in college.  
‘When did you start drawing?’ I ask Peeta. We are having lunch under a tree and he’s sketching a squirrel.  
‘I always liked to draw and when my parents got divorced my dad gave me a drawing course for my birthday. It was the best gift ever! The teacher was a professional and she taught me how to make realistic portraits and stuff. It was great!’ he tells with a enthusiastic smile. I can’t help but notice how his eyes light up when he tells about his course and how cute he looks with his dimples.  
‘Than why are you majoring in Business and not in something more creative?’ I ask as I take a bite out of my sandwich.  
‘Because I want to take over my family’s bakeries. I love to work in a bakery, but I want to do a good job, that’s why I’m studying business. And working in a bakery is quite creative. I was 12 my dad taught me to decorate the pastries at the bakery and I still love doing that’ he answers with a proud smile.  
‘Bakeries?’ I ask confused. I didn’t know his family had multiple.  
‘Yes, my dad owns a few’ he says, ‘What do you think?’ he asks me when he shows me his sketch.  
‘Wow Peeta, it’s amazing! It’s almost a black and white photograph’ I say impressed. He smiles sheepishly.  
Then I get an idea. ‘Could you maybe make a sketch of me and my sister? I’d like to give it to my mom’  
‘Yeah, of course. Do you have a photo?’ Peeta asks me.  
‘Not yet, but I’ll text my sister if she can send me one’ I say smiling. 

 

* * *

 

  
‘I’m home!’ I yell when I close the front door behind me. It’s Friday afternoon and this weekend I’m spending with my family at home. I’m kicking my shoes off when my mother appears from the living room.  
‘Hey honey, how are you doing?’ she asks while giving me a tight hug.  
‘I’m doing great mom, but how are you doing?’ I ask.  
‘Honey, I’m fine. I’m still having more good days than bad ones’ she lets go of me and looks me in my eyes and adds, ‘I know I’m going to beat this’  
‘I have something for you’ I say, to change the subject. I give her the sketch of me and Prim that Peeta made and I see her eyes lit up.  
‘Katniss, it’s gorgeous! Who drew this?’ she asks impressed.  
‘A friend of mine at Panem U, his name is Peeta Mellark’ I answer and I try not to blush.  
My mother and I drink some tea in the kitchen while she asks me all about this Peeta guy, Gale, Johanna, Haymitch and my classes. When my mother goes to her room to get some rest I start making dinner. Prim comes back from school and she helps me with the mashed potatoes. While she’s busy, I send a quick text to Peeta.

 **Katniss 5:57pm:** _My mom loved the drawing. Thank you so much!_

I have a quick internal debate whether or not I will add an X at the end of my text and I decide to go for broke. Why not?  
He immediately sends a text back.

 **Peeta 5:58pm:** _I’m glad she liked it :) How is she doing? X_

That little X gives me a goofy smile, what Prim immediately sees.  
‘Who are you texting?’ she says smiling.  
‘A friend’ I answer with a grin.

 **Katniss 5:59pm:** _She’s having a good day :) Thank you for asking._

‘What’s his name?’ Prims asks.  
‘You don’t know him’ I answer. ‘How’s Marvel?’  
‘Marvel is great, but don’t change the subject. Are you texting Gale?’  
‘No, his name is Peeta and he made the sketch of us I gave to mom. I was just texting him to tell him that she loved it’ I answer.  
‘Than why were you blushing?’ she asks smiling broadly.  
‘I wasn’t’ I lie. ‘Can you finish dinner? I want to take a shower’

We decide to take our boat to the lake on Saturday, because the weather is lovely and my mom is feeling good. We have a great day and we end it with a BBQ in our backyard. Primrose takes about 100 pictures, before she finally stops when I threaten to throw the camera on the grill. On Sunday my mother is exhausted and stays in bed most of the day, so Prim and I clean the house and I do the laundry. I’m exhausted when I get back at Panem U, but I had a great weekend with my family.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Peeta and I have business economics again and we tell each other about our weekends, what brings us to the subject of next weekend. Apparently one of the guys at the fraternity is celebrating his 21st birthday this weekend, so Gale is throwing him a crazy birthday party.  
‘Would you like to come?’ Peeta asks me.  
‘Yes, sounds like fun’ I say smiling. ‘That reminds me, did you hear that the school’s Film department is screening _‘James Bond: The Living Daylights’_ this Thursday? Want to see it with me?’ I ask Peeta.  
Peeta is just as big of a fan of James Bond as I am, or at least he claims he is. ‘That’s one of my favourites!’ he enthusiastically replies, ‘So yes, absolutely!’

#

  
‘Ready for your date?’ Johanna asks me the following Thursday.  
‘It’s not a date’ I answer annoyed.  
‘Really? The two of you aren’t dating?’ Johanna asks disbelieving.  
‘Not each other’ I answer, while putting on my All Stars. If it was a date, I wouldn’t wear these shoes.  
‘So you do all the things couples do, except the physical and in my opinion the most enjoyable, stuff?’ she says grinning.  
‘No, we don’t do things couples do together!’  
‘Well, the two of you have lunch together a lot and grab coffee together all the time, you two study together and now you’re going to see a movie together! So excuse me, if it kind of looks like dating to me’  
‘For the last time, we’re not dating! We’re just friends!’ I say pissed off. _Can’t the girl mind her own business?_  
‘If you say so..’ Johanna says, looking amused.

I have a great time with Peeta on our non-date. We’ve both seen the movie a couple of times, but we still enjoy watching it. I especially enjoy myself, because I’m here with Peeta and not with someone else. Talking and laughing with Peeta feels so easy, so natural, like I’ve done my whole life. Like we were always friends. The conversation I had with Johanna makes me think how it would be if we actually would be dating and I have to admit that the image of Peeta as my boyfriend, makes my stomach flip and my heart skip a beat.  
But I’m not sure if he sees me like that, because after the movie ends, this girl named Glimmer, is all over him and he doesn’t really seem to mind.. They talk for a while and Glimmer keeps flirting shamelessly with him.  
Who was I kidding anyway? A guy like Peeta Mellark, who’s smart, funny, kind and hot, could never see me, like I was starting to see him. Probably like he’s seeing Glimmer right now.. I should just accept this if I want to keep him as my friend and honestly, that’s more important to me. I like being friends with Peeta and I don’t want to risk that, so I’m angry with myself when I feel a little upset after we say goodbye. I feel like I lost something tonight, what is ridiculous, because I went to the movie with a friend and when I left I still had that friend. I shouldn’t feel upset about the fact that this friend is still talking to a gorgeous blonde either.

‘How was your date?’ Johanna asks when I walk into our apartment.  
‘It wasn’t a date and it was fun’ I try to sound cheerful.  
‘So you didn’t went to second base?’ she asks with a devious smile.  
‘We never went to first, because we are just friends’ I say annoyed.  
‘How disappointing’ she says like she’s actually disappointed in me.  
I roll my eyes at her. ‘How was your night?’ I ask to change the subject.  
‘Boring..’ she answers.  
‘Gale is having a party again this weekend, want to come?’  
‘You don’t even have to ask’ she answers smiling and she has a naughty glint in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Yo! Katniss!’ I hear Gale yell as I walk outside to have my lunch.  
‘Hey Gale’ I say cheerful.  
‘How have you been? Do you like Panem U?’ he asks me.  
‘Yes, I do. The classes are great and my room is amazing’ I answer with a smile.  
‘Listen, tomorrow we’re having a party at the house. Want to come?’ he asks me with a hopeful glint in his eyes.  
‘Yes, Peeta told me and I’m definitely coming’ I answer.  
‘Did he? Well, I shouldn’t be surprised, he has invited a lot of people. He invited that Glimmer girl too’  
_Oh.._  
‘I’m bringing Johanna with me, if that’s okay?’ I ask, looking straight ahead of me, trying to hide my disappointment.  
‘Of course! That girl can party!’ he says laughing.  
We arrive at an empty bench and where we eat our lunch. Gale suddenly begins to laugh. ‘Do you remember that school trip we took, I think we were 12 years old, to that animal farm?’ ‘No!’ I yell humiliated, ‘God, I can’t believe you remember that!’ I continue, now laughing.  
When Gale and I were 12, we went on a school trip to an eco-friendly farm. We were supposed to learn about the positive effect that organic food had and that free range animals are much healthier to consume. I’m pretty sure that the only thing that my seventh-grade classmates and my teacher remember is how a lama spit in my face and ran after me like a lunatic. To make matters worse, after the farmer caught the animal, I fell into a puddle, what made it look like I peed myself..  
‘How could I forget? That was the most hilarious school trip I had in my life’ Gale says laughing.  
‘Shut up!’ I say, ‘It was the worst school trip’ I say, but laughing as well.  
‘What’s so funny?’ someone behind us asks. It’s Peeta.  
‘Nothing, you had to be there’ Gale says, sounding a little annoyed.  
Peeta and Gale stare at each other and it feels like the temperature drops 10 degrees.  
‘Want to have lunch with us?’ I ask Peeta to break the (uncomfortable) silence.  
‘No, thank you, I have class’ he says without meeting my eyes and he walks away. _Okay.._  
I have to admit, that was a little weird, but I won’t let it bother me or let Gale think it bothers me. Gale and I continue our lunch and enjoy each other’s company and one of the last warm days of the year, before we head back to our next classes. 

 

* * *

 

 

‘Oeee… Hottie at 10 o’clock. I call dibs’ Johanna says smirking before leaving me and walking away to the guy.  
It’s Saturday night and we’re at Gale and Peeta’s frat’s party. I haven’t seen or spoken to Peeta since yesterday, after he left all weird. I’m not sure what I should do about it. Look for him and act like yesterday didn’t happen or just hang out with someone else, like Gale? Turns out, I don’t have to make a decision. I hear Peeta call my name.  
‘I need your help’ Peeta says smiling.  
‘With what?’ I ask, mirroring his smile.  
‘I’ve been challenged to play beer pong, but I don’t have a partner. Will you be my partner in crime?’ he asks me. His eyes are so blue, they seem to light up by the light of a million stars. I wonder how that’s possible in the darkness of this night.  
‘Lead the way’ I say, a little breathless.

‘She shoots and..’ Peeta yells with anticipation. We are playing beer pong against Johanna and Thresh, the hot guy she met today, who she won’t allow to leave her side, and it’s a tie. If I get this shot, Peeta and I win. I look at the cup in utter concentration and I make my shot.  
‘She scores! Wooeeeee!’ Peeta yells excited and he jumps in the air. When he lands he wraps me in a hug and I’m surrounded in his musky and cinnamon-like smell. He smells so good, I wish I could bathe in his scent. He lets me go to quickly for my liking, so I make a comment about the song that’s blasting through the speakers. It’s a remix of Rihanna’s ‘Stay’.  
‘I love this song. Let’s dance’ I say. I don’t give Peeta a chance to react and drag him to the living room that’s been turned into an impressive dance floor. I press my backside against his front, clasp one hand behind his neck and put my other one on his hand and we begin to dance. Both of his hands are splayed on my hips. His breath skates across my shoulders and down my neck as our hips move together.  
I lose myself in the music. All I feel is the music going through my veins and Peeta’s hands on my ribcage and my hip while we dance. Peeta’s proximity awakens a hunger in me I’ve never felt before. I want him, I crave him.  
I turn my head so I can look him in his eyes. His gorgeous blue irises are swollen by his pupils and in them I can read the same hunger I’m feeling. Even though our faces are only mere inches apart, it still feels too far. I need to touch his lips with mine. Even though I just decided a couple of days ago that Peeta and I shouldn’t take our friendship to another level, I can’t remember why. The alcohol that’s coursing through my veins is making me bold. I drop my gaze to his lips and slowly lean in. I can see him lean in too. Our lips are finally about to collide, but then someone pulls me away from Peeta. _What the hell?_  
‘Katniss, I need to talk to you’ Gale yells so he is audible.  
‘Now?’ I ask annoyed.  
‘Yes, Gale. Now?’ Peeta asks, looking a bit pissed off.  
‘Yes now’ Gale says. He drags me away from Peeta and into the kitchen.

‘What the hell is your problem?’ I ask angrily. I can’t believe he did that!  
‘What are you doing?’ he asks me annoyed.  
‘What am _I_ doing? What the fuck are you doing?’ I spit out in anger.  
‘Saving you from making a mistake. Peeta is just looking for a cheap one-nightstand and you’re too good to be that girl for him tonight’ he answers, ‘ – or any night’ he adds whispering and I can see the look in his eyes change. It becomes softer. First he just looked annoyed, now his eyes are filled with something kinder and warmer – something a lot like love. _Why is he looking at me like that?_  
For a minute I don’t know what to say. ‘Well, I think it’s sweet you want to look out for me’ I mumble, ‘but you don’t have to. I know what I’m doing’  
I walk back to where I left Peeta, so we can pick up where we left off, but when my eyes find him in the crowd, I stop in my tracks. Apparently he didn’t want to finish what we were about to begin, because his lips are already on someone else’s. On Glimmer’s. _Fuck._ Her hands are in his hair and his are on her hips. _Fuck._  
I turn around and find Gale. He’s walking towards me and he begins to apologise.  
‘Listen, Katniss. I –‘ he begins, but I press my lips against his and my tongue swallows his words. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and feel! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MOaWD is back, as you can see! :D This story is still going strong, no worries. Hope you all are excited! :D  
>  All mistakes are mine, happy reading.
> 
> Characters belong to Collins. The quote from 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' belongs to L. Frank Baum.

I wake up in sheets that don’t feel familiar. They aren’t as soft as the ones my mom got me and they don’t smell like the daisy scented laundry soap I use. When I open my eyes, I don’t recognise my surroundings either, but then I hear someone breathing next to me. I turn my head as quietly as possible, like a prey that’s afraid of being discovered by a predator.  


I immediately recognise the person lying next to me. It’s Gale. _O God.._  
Memories from last night come rushing back to me. I saw Peeta kiss Glimmer, I kissed Gale and he kissed me back. Our make-out session continued for a while before we decided to go upstairs to Gale’s room. I was upset because of Peeta kissing Glimmer, there was too much alcohol running through my veins and it had been a while since I got lucky.. It hadn’t seemed like a bad idea at the time to sleep with Gale, but now I know what a colossal mistake it was..  
 _Shit.._  
I never had a one-nightstand before and now it was with someone I actually knew. How awkward would things be after this? Or would this be the reason for a huge fight between the two of us?  
There are lines that friends aren’t supposed to cross and I’m afraid Gale and I just crossed one. I quietly get out of bed and put on my clothes from the night before. I guess Gale and I have to have a conversation, but I’m not ready yet, so I decide to go back to my dorm.  
When I’m walking the walk of shame back to my apartment, I realise something. Things don’t have to be awkward between the two of us. We can still hang out together without it being weird even though we saw each other naked. If we can forget all about last night, nothing has to change and we can go back to where we were before. When Gale and I have our talk, I’ll tell him that people having sex is completely normal to me, so why let it ruin our friendship?

 

 

#

 

‘Go Brainless!’ Johanna says when I walk back into our apartment ‘Walking the walk of shame! Finally jumped Peeta’s bones?’  
‘No’ I answer quietly.  
‘What?’ Johanna spats out. ‘Don’t tell me the two of you only cuddled under the sheets’  
‘I didn’t spend the night with Peeta’ I say into the fridge. _Where’s the butter?_  
‘What?’ Johanna yells. ‘Then with whom did you spend it?’  
I grab the butter and cheese out of the fridge and walk to the counter. ‘Gale’ I answer.  
‘Gale? You slept with Gale?’ Johanna asks confused. ‘How? I mean, I saw you grinding against Peeta on the dance floor!’  
‘Yes and then Gale showed up, said he needed to talk to me and when I made my way back to Peeta, he was sucking Glimmer’s face off’  
‘Wow..’ Johanna is silent for a second. ‘Didn’t see that one coming..’  
‘Neither did I’ I quietly admit. ‘I’m sorry, I know you liked Peeta’  
‘It’s okay, it was just a small crush. Nothing hard to get over’  
Johanna gives me a kind smile and some encouraging words. ‘You can do it girl’

 

#

 

I’m doing some homework when I get a text.

**Gale today 4:37pm:** _How do you like your coffee?_

**Katniss 4:38pm:** _Like a cappuccino, why?_

He doesn’t answer back and I completly forget all about it. A half hour later someone’s at our door.  
‘I’ll get it’ I yell to Johanna and I open the door. ‘Gale?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes, it’s me. With a cappuccino’ he says with a shy smile and he hands me the warm beverage.  
‘Thank you. Come on in’ I say and I let him enter my place. ‘Welcome to my crib’ I joke.  
‘Our crib!’ Johanna yells from her room. Gale and I laugh.  
‘I’m sorry I just stopped by unannounced, but I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?’  
‘Sure. Let’s go to my room’  
‘Wow’ Gale says impressed when we walk into my bedroom. ‘You’re apartment is amazing’  
‘Thank you. I got lucky’ I simply say. ‘So what did you want to talk about?’  
Gale looks amused. He knows I know it’s about last night. ‘The weather’ he sarcastically says and I laugh. ‘About last night’  
I just nod.  
‘This was not the way I hoped it would go..’ he starts and it gets me confused. _What did he want what way to go?_ ‘but I guess it’s better than no way at all. So, hear it goes. I like you Katniss. A lot. And I’d like to see where this could go between us’  
I’m dumbstruck. This was the last thing in the world I was expecting. Gale looks at me expectantly with nervousness and sincerity in his eyes. I don’t doubt his words, they just take me by surprise. I don’t know what to say.  
‘Katniss?’ Gale slowly asks after two moments of silence. ‘What do you think?’  
Yes, I’d like to know that too. _What do I think? How do I feel?_ Confused, for one. Surprised too. ‘I don’t know Gale. I’m surprised’ I answer honestly.  
‘I can’t blame you’ he says and he smiles shyly. ‘But us going out, how does that sound to you?’  
My mind goes to Peeta. I had wanted to see if things could’ve gone to the next level with us, but apparently Peeta didn’t feel that way.. Maybe Gale and I would be good together, we’re very similar. Not just in looks, but also in personality. He looks so sincere and I don’t want to hurt him by saying no, when things could be great between us. I also had a crush on him for years..  
I nod. ‘It sounds good. I’d like to try’  
‘That’s great Katniss!’ Gale beams at me and he takes his lips in mine. I notice that I don’t feel any sparks when our tongues dance together, but maybe that feeling will come soon.  
When my teenage self can also believe Gale _likes_ me.

 

#

  
Things kind of change between Peeta and I after the party. I don’t know if it’s my attitude towards him or his to me, but our friendship has turned colder. The texts, the lunches, the coffees and the study sessions haven’t happened in weeks. I swallowed my pride and texted him a couple of times, but he never replied.  
He now even sits down next to someone else in our business economics class, so a strange girl sits down next to me.  
She smiles shyly when she asks if the seat is taken and with one glance to Peeta – who’s sitting next to a gorgeous blond (probably his type) – I tell her she can sit next to me. The girl has flowing brown hair, sea green eyes and rosy cheeks. She seems nice enough, even though she doesn’t utter a word the whole class, but it doesn’t bother me. Johanna drives me nuts with all her banter and chatter, so sitting next to someone who doesn’t need my constant attention, is like a breath of fresh air. I hope she’ll sit next to me every week, since Peeta is now apparently ignoring me.

Now Peeta and I don’t share as much time together, I hang out more in the apartment and I get to know Johanna better. We almost make all of our homework together, enjoy watching Netflix together and every Friday or Saturday – if I’m not at my family’s – we go out.  
‘How are things going with Thresh?’ I ask during dinner.  
‘They’re going’ Johanna answers and then something happens I’ve never seen happen on Johanna’s face: she starts to blush.  
‘Holy crap! You like him! You’ve fallen for your arm candy’  
‘Yeah well.. Turns out there’s more to him than meets the eye’ she mumbles and her cheeks turn even redder. ‘Or in the bed’ she adds and that makes her burst out into laughter. ‘How are things between you and Gale?’ she asks me when she’s done laughing over her own ‘joke’.  
Gale and I have been going out the last couple of weeks and to my surprise things are going well. I enjoy spending time with him, even though we sometimes annoy one another, but I finally feel the spark I had been missing. I think.. ‘Good’ I answer.  
‘Really? Because I know you weren’t really interested in him in that way before you two started going out’ Johanna says blunt.  
‘That’s why people go out, isn’t it? To see if there is something more between them and I found that something with Gale’ I answer a little annoyed.  
‘Sure’ Johanna says, sounding unconvinced.  
I suddenly feel the irrational need to prove myself to Johanna. ‘We should go on a double date’ I say and I watch her reaction.  
She looks at me like I’m crazy. ‘Why?’  
‘Because it’s fun. I would understand if you and Thresh aren’t ready for something like that yet’  
‘Why wouldn’t we be ready?’ Johanna asks defensively.  
‘I only meant that if you two aren’t an item yet, going on a double date might be weird’  
‘I’m not one to label things, but I told him if he’d hook up with some other bimbo, I’d rip of his balls and he said he wanted the same loyalty from me. So I guess we’re exclusive. Can you say the same thing about you and Gale?’  
I couldn’t. I didn’t even know what Gale had been up to all day, but I trusted him. Or was it a lack of care? No, I trusted him. I didn’t know if we were an item or not, but I didn’t want Johanna to think I was sulking over Peeta. ‘I can’ I lied to Johanna.

I needed to talk to Gale.

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of days later – Gale and I still hadn’t had the talk – Johanna and I both became victims of the flu season.  
‘God dammit Brainless!’ Johanna yells from her bedroom. ‘You gave me the flu. Now I’m lying here all sick in my bed, while I should be in bed with my handsome boyfriend’ ‘Yeah, well me too!’ I yell back from the kitchen where I was about to get a glass of water. I quickly discover I can’t even handle some gulps of water, because it upsets my stomach. I run to my toilet before my stomach contents end up on my kitchen floor.

When there’s nothing left inside of me, I return to my bed. I feel miserable, but when I cover myself with my soft blankets, my body starts to relax. I hear my phone go off a couple of times before I decide it’s polite to answer it.  
‘Hello?’ I ask the intruder.  
‘Hey babe it’s me. Are we still on for tonight?’ I hear Gale say.  
‘I can’t. I have the flu’ I say. ‘I think I got it from Johanna’  
‘Yeah.. you sound awful’ Gale answers.  
‘Ehh.. Thank you?’ I say annoyed. ‘What kind of stupid comment is that?’  
‘Jeez Catnip, don’t get all angry. I just meant you sound ill’ Gale’s annoyed now too.  
‘That’s because I _am_ ill’ I say angrily.  
I hear Gale sigh annoyed.  
‘Sorry..’ I begin. ‘I just feel like crap. Can you come and bring me some soup?’ I beg.  
‘Babe, I can’t. I have that game in two days and if I get sick, I can’t play and you know I can’t miss any games’  
Gale got a full ride to college in the form of a soccer scholarship from Panem U. It’s covers all expenses at our school, but if he misses too much practices or games and he shows a lack of commitment to the team or if he doesn’t have a C+ average on all of his classes, the scholarship will be revoked and he’ll have to pay for college out of his own pocket. I know what it’s like to live with the fear of getting no college education, so I completely understand Gale’s point of view.  
‘O yeah, I forgot. If I’m feeling better Tuesday I’ll come watch your game’ I promise.  
‘That would be great. I’ll text you tonight Catnip, sweet dreams’

 

#

 

‘KATNISS!!’ Johanna yells me awake. ‘Someone’s at the door!’  
‘You go get it!’ I yell back.  
‘I’m in my bathroom!’  
 _Great._.  
I leave my comfortable haven and make my way to the door. This better be important.. When I’m open the door, I’m sure I’m either still sleeping or the fever is making me hallucinate. This can’t be real.. What is _he_ doing here?  
‘Hey’ Peeta says. I don’t answer, I just stare at him in disbelieve. ‘Can I come in?’ Peeta says after a moment when he realises I’m not going to say anything. He nervously scratches the back of his neck.  
‘I have the flu’ I say bluntly.  
‘I know. I had a shot’  
‘Okay, but I warned you’ I open the door and I watch him walk into my apartment.  
‘Wow.. amazing place’  
‘Thanks’  
‘Gale told me you were ill, so I made you some soup’ Peeta says with a kind smile.  
‘You made me soup? You didn’t have to do that..’ I say overwhelmed by the kind gesture.  
‘It was no problem, believe me’ a moment passes before he adds ‘it’s also an apology’  
‘An apology? For what?’ I ask confused.  
‘For being a horrible friend to you.. I was just really busy with school and stuff and then I didn’t text you back.. I’m sorry we haven’t seen much of each other lately and I feel like it’s my fault..’  
‘It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I wasn’t really a friend too’  
‘No, you’ve got nothing to apologise for’  
‘No, I do’ I insist. ‘But I’m glad you stopped by. I missed you. I missed us’ I admit. The fever is probably making me bold.  
‘I missed us too’ Peeta says and he seems relieved. ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’  
‘No thank you, I’m going to read a little and then go back to sleep’  
‘What are you going to read?’  
I feel my cheeks burn up. ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz’ I admit quietly.  
Peeta laughs.  
‘Don’t laugh at me!’ I say mortified. ‘I’m sick!’  
This makes Peeta even laugh more. ‘Why are you reading Oz?’  
‘My mom used to read it to me as a child and when I’m ill, it makes me feel better’  
Peeta gives me a sweet smile and I make him swear not to tell anyone my secret. ‘I won’t, I swear’  
This gives me an idea. ‘I can’t know that for sure. You have to read a chapter to me, so if you ever tell people I read Oz when I’m ill, I’ll tell everyone you read it too’  
He laughs. ‘Fine’

_‘Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with uncle Henry, who was a farmer and aunt Em, who was the farmer’s wife’_ Peeta starts. His voice is like honey to my ears. It’s calm and soothing and it instantly takes me to The Land of Oz.  
Peeta is such a sweet friend. He didn’t have to do this, he could have left, but here he is, reading me my favourite children’s book. I love to hear him read to me, his presence and voice comfort me and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough. I try to stay awake, I really do, but before he’s on the fifth page, sleep takes me away to a Land of Oz of my own.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the day of Gale’s soccer game and I was fulfilling my promise to come and watch him. What I didn’t suspect was to see Peeta in the crowd and I didn’t suspect to see him with a girl. A pretty girl. She has dark red hair, striking features and porcelain white skin. I really didn’t want to talk to him and his ‘friend’, so I pretended I hadn’t seen him and I hoped he hadn’t seen me.  
I decided I was going to give Gale my full attention and support and to not think about a certain blond a few feet away from me.  
Gale was playing one hell of a game. He scored three times and his team won 4-2. When they are done, he runs off the field and makes a beeline to me.  
‘Congratulations Gale’ I say and his lips find mine. I’m not really a fan of pda, so I quickly break our kiss and look around me to see if anyone was watching our passionate exchange. ‘You played amazing’ I tell him.  
‘Must be because you are here’  
‘That must be it’ I joke ‘but you can give yourself some credit too’  
Out of the corner of my eye I see Peeta approaching us with the girl, so I stifle Gale’s laugh by pressing our lips together. Our tongues are battling for dominance, when we hear someone – Peeta – cough awkwardly.  
‘Man you have the worst timing’ Gale jokes when he sees it’s Peeta who has interrupted our kiss.  
‘Sorry bro’ Peeta says and he laughs. ‘I just wanted to congratulate you with your game’  
‘Thanks man. You headed to the house now?’  
Peeta looks at the girl next to him and they both smile suggestively at one another. I try to kill the pang of jealousy that goes through me for a second. ‘Yes we are. You too?’ Gale looks at me and I try to give him the same sort of smile the girl gave Peeta. ‘You can come to my apartment?’ I ask innocently. ‘If you want to take a shower, mine is great’ Gale gives me a smile anything but innocent. ‘Sounds like a plan’ he turns to Peeta to answer his question. 'I guess not. I’ll see you later’  
‘Cool’ Peeta says, but his expression has changed a bit. He looks a little annoyed or something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. ‘See you’ he grabs the girl’s hand and they walk away from us holding each other’s hand.

 

#

 

‘She seemed nice’ I comment during the walk to my apartment with Gale. He kept talking about the game, enthusiastically highlighting every detail and action like I hadn’t been there. It was nice to hear Gale speak so passionately, but the soccer talk was beginning to bore me and before I knew it I had said something about the subject I didn’t want to talk about.  
‘Lavinia?’ Gale asks surprised.  
‘Uuh.. I didn’t catch her name’  
‘Yes she’s okay’  
‘Are the two of them dating?’ _God dammit Katniss, bite your tongue! Don’t sound so damn eager!_  
‘I guess.. I ran into her a couple of times in the house’  
I nod and try to act cool. ‘I didn’t know Peeta was seeing anyone. That’s great for him’  
Gale nods and starts to talk about the game again. Thankfully we run into an old friend of mine a moment later.  
‘Haymitch!’ I say surprised. ‘What are you doing in this side of town?’  
‘Sweetheart! Visiting some family. What have you been up to?’  
‘I was just at a Gale’s soccer match’ I say and I point at Gale. I realise that it’s probably polite to introduce the two men to each other. ‘Gale, this is Haymitch, an old friend of my father’s and Haymitch this is Gale, a friend of mine’  
‘Yes, you’re in my business economics class aren’t you? Even though you don’t show up very often’ Haymitch observes.  
Gale turns a pretty pink. ‘Yes sometimes I have practice that time’ he lies. ‘But I’ll be there next week’  
Haymitch can look right through Gale. ‘Looking forward to it’ he says, sounding somewhat sarcastic.  
I stifle a laugh.  
We say our goodbyes and when Haymitch is out of earshot Gale faces me. ‘What was that?’ Gale demands of me.  
‘What?’ I ask confused.  
‘You introduced me as your friend. What the hell? I thought I was your boyfriend!’  
‘Well.. You know.. We’ve never had the talk and I didn't know if you were ready for that’ I say, clumsily trying to explain myself.  
‘Are you serious? I asked you if you wanted to go out with me! What did you think I meant?’ he asks upset.  
‘Exactly what you said: us going out, nothing about us being in a relationship!’ I answer annoyed.  
‘Are you saying you’ve been screwing other guys behind my back?’ and the thought alone makes Gale’s face red in anger.  
‘God, NO!’ I yell, angry by his accusation. ‘I’m not that kind of person! And I definitely don’t want to get some STD! But we never labelled things and we haven’t even been out on an official date’  
‘Well, I guess I just assumed that me telling you how I felt was enough’ his eyes roam angrily over my face, looking for something and then he adds, ‘And what about you? Are you _ready_? You never told me how you feel Katniss. How do you feel? About me?’  
 _Fuck._ I didn’t saw this one coming. His gaze bores into mine, so there is no hiding. My honest answer silently leaves my mouth ‘I don’t know’  
‘You don’t know? I can't believe you!’ Gale yells. God he’s yelling so loud now, I’m pretty everyone living in this street can hear us fight. ‘Well, don’t bother calling me before you know’ he says and he storms off.  
 _Fuck...._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot has happened and even more is going to happen! :) It may seem like it's a Everthorne fanfic, but I swear it's Everlark all the way! <3
> 
> Thoughts? Feelings? xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is 'Broken But Home' by the Common Linnets :)

I’m lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Johanna is at Thresh’s room, making up for lost time when she had the flu, so I’m all alone with my thoughts.  
The fight I just had with Gale is the only thing on my mind. I feel horribly about hurting him, but at least I was honest with him.  
I have to give Gale answer soon though. I don’t want to string him along. _How do I feel?_ I’ve never been in a situation like this before,  
so I’m not really sure what I have to do now.  
I decide to write down how I feel so I can find out what it is that I feel and understand it.

 _**I like Gale and I think we can be good together. Plus the sex is really good. We could make each other happy and I didn’t really give it a chance. Maybe if I give it a chance, things will turn out amazing? Yes, Peeta’s still in the back of my mind, but he’s with someone else now. It’s not going to happen Katniss! We’re still friends and that’s good too. Gale’s into you and Peeta is not – those are the facts. Nothing you can do will change that.. But Gale likes you and you’ve always wanted to be more than friends with him and now you’ve got the chance! Your crush on Peeta will definitely fade and you could have love with Gale. If you don’t try you’ll never know what could’ve happened with him and if it doesn’t work out, you'll know find out. You don’t have to live with the ‘what if?’. ** _  
_**You’ll have no regrets.** _

 

  
I read it over a couple of times. I’m right – things aren’t going to happen with Peeta and sulking over him will not make me happy. Gale and I have always been friends for a good reason: we’re similar, and that can be a really good thing in a relationship. Things between Gale and I could be great, I just have to have faith and give it a change.  
I’m going to call him.

 

#

 

After a few rings he answers and he doesn’t sound happy. ‘Yes?’ he asks curtly.  
‘I was an idiot. You were right’  
‘What are you saying Katniss?’  
I try to explain myself. ‘That I want us to date. Be an item. Be exclusive’  
He’s silent for a moment. ‘You still haven’t answered my question. How do you feel about me?’  
_I can’t believe he’s making me say this. I don’t blame him, but dammit, I’m not good with feelings. And definitely not with talking about them, but I owe him. Swallow your pride, Katniss!_ ‘I like you. I always have’ I admit. ‘I really think we could be good together and make each other happy’  
‘So you really want to do this?’ Gale asks again.  
‘Yes, I do. Do you still want to?’  
‘Yes, me too’  
A rush of relief goes through me and I smile. ‘Good. Great! Do you want to come over? Or have you already showered?’ I joke.  
Gale laughs a little. ‘I have, but I’d love to try your shower. With you’  
‘Then get over here – now!’

 

* * *

 

 

It’s the next Monday and I stayed over at Gale’s place the night before. And the night before that. Gale’s fraternity just really throws the best parties and now that we’re an item, I don’t have to go back home after a party, I can spend the night in my boyfriend’s bed. With him.  
I find this to be much more enjoyable and since Thresh lives her too, Johanna is here a lot as well. The only downside is that I ran into Peeta a couple of times and seeing him still makes my stomach flip. A little. But we’re friends, so I’m not going to act all weird. I should count my blessings though – I haven’t run into his girlfriend. _Yet.._  
Gale and I are eating some breakfast before we go to Business Economics together. ‘Should we wait for Peeta?’ I ask.  
‘No, we don’t even know if he’s going to class’ Gale answers.  
I roll my eyes.  
‘What?’  
‘He always goes. He hasn’t missed a single class this year’  
‘And how would you know that?’ Gale asks fiercely.  
‘Because I haven’t missed a single class either’ I answer annoyed.  
Gale backs down and continues eating his cereal in silence.

A few minutes later we’re about to head out, but I realise I forgot my cell, so I head back to Gale’s room to get it. I’m walking down the staircase when I hear Gale and Peeta talking in the kitchen. When I hear my name being said, I instantly stop to listen.  
‘Where’s Katniss?’ I hear Peeta ask.  
‘Grabbing her phone from my room. Why?’  
‘Nothing. Just thought we could walk to class together’  
‘I was planning on walking to class with _my girlfriend_ too’ I can clearly hear Gale emphasize the words ‘my’ and ‘girlfriend’.  
‘You’re going to class too?’ Peeta asks surprised.  
At that moment my feet move again and before Gale can make a snide remark, I walk into the kitchen. Both of the guys turn to me and when Peeta’s warm blues meet my iron greys, I forget how to breath. _He just looks so handsome.._

Peeta is wearing a tight, black sweater and a pair of glasses I’ve never seen him wear. The sweater hugs his abdomen and shows off every muscle he has in a glorious way. The black makes his blond curls stand out even more and make him look a tad.. dangerous. The black frame of his glasses highlight his eyes and make them look even bluer. _Like that was even necessary.._ God he looks hot.. I can practically feel my arousal drip into my panties.  
‘I didn’t know you wear glasses’ I say, hoping to sound unaffected by the effect his appearance has on me. Hoping that neither Gale nor Peeta notice that my brain had turned into mush and that I was practically drooling.  
‘I always wear contacts, but I overslept. So today I’m wearing my glasses’  
‘They look good on you’ I say. I can feel my cheeks warm up, so I quickly look at my phone screen to check the time.  
‘Thank you’ I can hear Peeta say, but I’m still too much of a chicken to make direct eye contact. ‘Let’s go babe’ I say looking at my boyfriend.  
‘I’m tagging alone with you guys, if that’s alright’ I hear Peeta say.  
‘Sure’ I say when I walk out of the kitchen. I need some fresh air.

 

#

 

 _What a disaster._ Even walking to class had been hard. I had walked next to Gale and had held his hand, so there was a much needed distance between Peeta and I. Somehow between walking into class and sitting down, I had lost my position next to Gale and now I’m sitting next to Peeta.  
Peeta is just so distracting. His scent overwhelms me, I fantasize about licking his strong arms and the way he’s holding his pen in his hand makes me wonder how his hands would feel all over my body.  
I grab Gale’s hand and smile sweetly at him. He grounds me, he makes me realise where I am and who I am. I’m not the type of person to go fuck my boyfriend’s best friend. Or eye-fuck him.

‘Next week you have to submit a personal investment plan for a business in South-America. So something like real-estate, stocks, a store or a restaurant or whatever. This paper will be made in pairs. You get to choose your own country and I’ll pair you up with a classmate’ Haymitch says at the end of class.  
Gale is paired up with someone named Gloss Hill. Gale looks pleased so they probably know each other and Johanna is paired with a girl named Annie Cresta. I notice she’s the shy girl that sat down next to me a couple of times.  
Finally my name is called. ‘Katniss Everdeen and.. Peeta Mellark’ _Fuck._ _The odds are not in my favour.._

‘When do you want to get started?’ Peeta asks me when we walk out of class.  
‘As soon as possible, but I do have two other papers due this week..’  
‘Then it’s your call’  
‘Thursday?’  
‘Sure, I’ll already get started so we can wrap it up this weekend’  
‘I can’t. I’m going home this weekend. It’s Prim’s birthday this Sunday’  
‘Then we have a small problem..’  
‘Yes..’ I quickly try to think of a solution. We can only work a few hours on both Thursday and Friday and that won’t be enough. We need to work on the paper this weekend otherwise we won’t be able to finish it, but I’m not staying on campus this weekend. I’m not missing Prim’s 18th birthday.. ‘I’m leaving Friday, but why don’t you come with me? We have a great guestroom and then we have the entire Saturday to finish our paper’  
‘Uhmm.. Are you sure?’ Peeta mumbles. I think I see a rosy colour filling his cheeks, but I’m probably imagining things.  
‘It seems like the only solution to me’  
‘Only if it’s okay with your folks..’ Peeta says. ‘And I’ll head back to campus Saturday night, so your family can celebrate Prim’s birthday without an intruder’  
‘You won’t be intruding. My mother can’t wait to meet the artist that’s made her the portrait of her daughters’ I say smiling.  
Peeta chuckles uncomfortably. ‘I’m hardly an artist..’ he says with crimson cheeks.  
‘Don’t sell yourself short’ I say and I squeeze his upper arm.  
His eyes dart from my eyes, to my hand and when they land on my eyes again, I notice his blues are a shade darker. I quickly pull back my hand and give him an awkward wave. ‘I have to go to class now. I’ll talk to you later’ I blurt out and I walk away as quickly as I can.

 

* * *

 

 

Friday comes way too soon for my liking. My parents didn’t mind that a friend of mine would be staying with us this weekend, so Peeta is going to meet my family in a few hours.  
I’m not particular nervous about him meeting my parents or sister, but I do feel a little bit anxious about the fact I have to spend two hours with him in a car. Alone. And that we’re spending the entire Saturday in my bedroom together – making a paper. Alone, again.

‘Are you excited about seeing your family again?’ Peeta asks when we drive off campus. We decided to take Peeta’s car, so he can drive back tomorrow.  
‘Yes, I missed them’ I’m silent for a moment. ‘Do you miss your family?’  
‘Honestly, not really. I wasn’t really that close with my brothers growing up. I do miss my dad sometimes, but we call a lot’  
‘What about your mother?’ I ask.  
Something in his voice changes when he answers. ‘We don’t keep in touch’  
I’m too socially awkward to respond to such a loaded revelation. ‘Oh..’  
‘That’s why I joined the fraternity. To be part of something I could fall back on my entire life. They are now kind of my brothers and I know they always will be’  
‘I wondered why a guy like you would be part of a frat’ I admit.  
He chuckles. ‘Really?’  
‘Yes, you’re just so serious’ I say. ‘That’s a good thing’ I quickly add. ‘What I meant was, you care. About your future. And you’re just so nice. Also a good thing’ I ramble.  
Peeta laughs.  
‘Let’s play some music’ I say to change the subject. _Why am I so awkward?!_  
Peeta is sweet enough to drop the subject and to turn on the radio.

 

#

 

‘Peeta, this too much. You shouldn’t have’ my mother says in awe.  
‘Wow Peeta, it’s incredible’ I say. ‘Prim is going to love it’  
Peeta has blown me and my mother away by the cake he made as a surprise for Prim’s birthday. It’s a white strawberry cake with pink marzipan roses on top of it. Peeta wrote down Prim’s name and the number 18 on top of it in cursive with some liquid dark chocolate. It’s gorgeous.  
‘You think?’ Peeta asks hopeful.  
‘Absolutely’ me and my mother answer at the same time.  
‘I’m going to put this in the fridge’ my mother says as she carefully picks up the cake. ‘We don’t want Prim to find it yet’  
‘I’ll show you your room’ I say to Peeta.

‘You’re mother seems great’ Peeta says when we are alone in the guestroom.  
‘She is’  
‘How is she doing?’ Peeta asks concerned.  
‘The same. She sleeps a lot and takes a lot of pain meds, but she’s doing all right. We try to stay positive’ I try to give Peeta a smile, but a tear makes it down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away.  
‘I’m really sorry this is happening’ Peeta kindly offers.  
‘Nothing we can do about it now. Life goes on and all of that’  
‘Katniss, it’s okay to admit that it sucks and that it’s hard’  
‘Let’s just cook some dinner, okay?’ I beg.

Turns out, Peeta is an excellent cook as well. He makes us paella with chicken and a Caesar salad. Even my dad, who isn’t really fond of rice, seems to enjoy himself.  
‘Where did you learn to cook like this?’ my father asks him.  
Peeta swallows his gulp of water and puts his glass down. I try not to be affected by the way he licks his lips before he answers. ‘My dad taught me’ he simply answers.  
‘Is he a chef?’ my dad asks.  
‘No, he’s a baker, but he always liked to cook and he learned a lot from cooking shows’  
‘And then he taught you’ my dad states.  
‘He did sir’  
My dad is about to ask another question, so I quickly interrupt him in fear he might ask something about Peeta’s mother. ‘There’s one thing that Peeta didn’t learn from his dad and that’s his love for art, right Peeta?’  
‘No’ Peeta looks suddenly very uncomfortable. ‘I got that from my mom’ Fuck.  
‘Sorry, I-‘ I begin, but Peeta cuts me off.  
‘It’s okay. There’s nothing I can do about it now’ he says, involuntarily using the same words as I did earlier and he gives me a forgiving smile. He turns to my parents to explain. ‘After my parents got a divorce, my mom didn’t really keep in touch with me and my brothers’  
‘I’m so sorry to hear that Peeta’ my mother says.  
‘It’s okay. It’s probably for the best’  
I desperately want to change the subject, so this pitiful and awkward mood can be lifted, but I never was very sociable, so the only thing I can think of, is to ask Prim how school was today.  
While Prim is telling us about her day, I glance at Peeta. He gives Prim his full attention and even asks her a couple of questions. He hides it well, but for someone who has studied his eyes many times before, I can see the flicker of pain leave as quickly as it came.

 

#

 

After dinner – Prim was kind enough to do the dishes – Peeta and I go for a walk in the woods behind my house.  
‘I’m sorry I brought your mother up during dinner’ I say.  
‘Katniss it’s okay. You didn’t know. And she’s my mother. She’ll always be a part of my life even if I don’t want her to be and occasionally she’ll be the subject in a conversation’ ‘You don’t want your mother to be part of your life?’  
‘No, she’s not a good person’ Peeta says. I can see a painful memory flashing through his eyes. ‘She wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to keep close contact. Or any form of contact’  
‘You deserve better’ I say.  
He offers me a broken smile. ‘When she left, I did get better’ he promises.  
‘Good’

‘You never told me you guys have a cat’ Peeta says a few minutes later.  
I groan annoyed. ‘Unfortunately we do. It’s a horrible and ugly cat named Buttercup. Prim saved her from some wild dogs once and took her home, so now she’s the only one who can pet the damn cat. My dad still has scars from when he tried’  
Peeta chuckles. ‘And yet your parents let Prim keep Buttercup?’  
‘Prim cried and begged the hole day. My parents didn’t stand a chance and Prim knew they wouldn't. Did you have pets growing up?’  
‘No, my mother hated pets. Didn’t matter if it was a cat, a guinea pig or even a fish..’  
‘And you didn’t get one after your parents’ divorce?’  
‘No, my dad is allergic to cats and dogs and it just seemed like it was a childhood dream that would never come true’  
‘What kind of pet would you get now if you could?’  
‘A fish’  
I laugh. ‘Really?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes, fish fascinate me and they can be so colourful, so pretty’  
‘Your eyes are drawn to colours, like the artist you are, aren’t they?’  
Peeta blushes. ‘I suppose so’

When we get home, my family is sitting on the back porch. My dad is serenading my mom and sister with his guitar.  
‘Come, you have to hear my dad sing’ I say as I take Peeta to our backyard. ‘My mom always says that when he sings, all the birds go quiet’ I say, filled with pride.  
When my dad notices us, he smiles at me and stops singing. ‘There she is. Join me Katniss’  
‘You sing?’ Peeta asks surprised.  
‘Sometimes..’ I admit blushingly.  
‘She’s amazing!’ Prim says. ‘If I was her, I would’ve signed up for ‘The Voice’ a long time ago’  
‘I’m not that good’ I protest.  
‘You are!’ my mom says proudly.  
‘Now I have to hear you sing!’ Peeta says, smiling broadly. 'Please?'  
O God, I hate singing in front of someone who isn’t related to me, but I relent when I see the hope and excitement burning in Peeta’s eyes. ‘Fine..’ I say, my stomach filling with nervous butterflies.  
‘What do you want to sing?’ my dad asks when I sit down next to him.  
‘Broken But Home?’ I ask.  
My dad nods excitedly and starts to play.

 

 _The steering wheels freezing_  
_This road gets a long song_  
_I was just thinking of you in back home_  
_I forgotten my reasons for leaving_

 _The radio station is fading and cracked_  
_but I hear every song makes me want you back_  
_Like a tune, like a whistle with love under these years_

When my vocals join my dad’s, I completely forget that Peeta’s gaze is locked on me and all of the butterflies that were bullying me, fly away.

 _Got my heart on the wire_  
_That these broken white lines_  
_bring me back to your eyes_  
_but it's still a long way_  
_Yeah it's such a long way_

 _The way you confuse me I treasure the taste_  
_The way that you love with that smile on your face_  
_Curled up in your sweater, took your coffee cup_  
_You kiss me awake every time you wake up_  
_There's a peace of my heart that you won't_  
_It may be broken_  
_Broken but home_

 

When we finish, Peeta gives us a standing ovation. His smile and eyes shine brightly and are filled with admiration. I beam back at him and for an intense moment we just stare at one another.  
‘Thank you’ I say a little flustered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys and girls think? :)  
> honesty is always appreciated :)
> 
> xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but I hope you can enjoy this chapter now! :)

 Peeta and I finish our paper that Saturday. It’s a mediocre paper due to lack of time, but at least it’s finished. At dinner, Peeta cooked again, my parents ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want to stay for the night.

‘I couldn’t. With Prim’s-‘ he starts, but he gets interrupted by my sister.  
‘I’d love for you to be here tomorrow’ Prim says with a sweet smile and she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. _Okay…_  
‘Yes, Peeta, you are very welcome to stay here. Eat some cake, meet some of our friends and I’m sure Katniss would love to take you on another hike’  
_Fuck._ I’m not sure how I feel about Peeta staying another night. I’m trying to distance myself from him, let my crush on him die. Spending the entire weekend with will not help me achieve that goal. ‘Of course’ I lie. ‘Unless you’re already tired of the woods. Or my dad’ I joke.  
Peeta and my family laugh.  
‘Absolutely not’ Peeta says with a broad smile.  
‘Great. Then you’re staying’ my dad states. He leaves no room for discussion.  
Peeta looks back at me and I try to answer his smile.

 

#

 

‘Peeta, I hope you like detectives, because tonight we’re watching ‘Midsomer Murders’’ my dad says when he turns on the TV.  
‘Noooooo, please daddy..’ Prim begs. She’s not really a fan of British murder mysteries.  
‘Tomorrow is your birthday Prim, we’ll watch whatever you want then, but tonight, it’s time for a British detective’ my dad says smiling.  
‘I love detectives, sir’ Peeta answers. ‘Especially the British ones’  
‘Great. Katniss and I watch as many as we can, don’t we honey?’ my dad asks me.  
‘Yes’  
‘Which British ones do you watch?’ my dad asks Peeta.

While the two of them talk about their favourite detectives and the genius that Agatha Christie is, I think about my ‘situation’.

How do I feel about Peeta spending another night here? Am I acting ‘normal’ enough? What am I supposed to do with him tomorrow? _Fuck.._

I like spending time with Peeta, he’s nice, smart, funny and a total dork – what I absolutely love. And that’s the problem. I _cannot_ fall in love with Peeta.  
Even my family is smitten with him. He’s nice, polite, an amazing cook, he likes detectives – pretty much the whole package for my parents. I think Prim is harbouring an unhealthy crush on Peeta too.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and when I take it out, I see a text from Gale.

**Gale today 8:57pm:** _How was working with Peeta today?_

**Katniss 8:58pm:** _Good, we finished our paper. He’s staying another night btw._

Five seconds after I send my text my screen lights up with an incoming call from Gale. I excuse myself from our TV-room and answer.

‘Hey’ I say.  
‘Why is Peeta staying another night?’ Gale asks me. I can tell from his tone that he’s pissed.  
‘My parents offered him our guest room for another night. Peeta was too polite to decline’  
‘But you already finished your paper. Why would he stay?’ Gale asks annoyed.  
‘I don’t know? He likes my family? He’s too polite to decline?’  
Gale lets out a irritated sigh.  
‘Wait.. do you have a problem with this?’ I ask.  
‘Well, I don’t really like that some guy is spending the weekend with you at your family’s’ I can hear the jealousy over the phone.  
‘Are you serious? Don’t you trust me?’ I ask offended. I may have a small crush on Peeta, but I would never cheat on my boyfriend. Not with Peeta or another guy. I care a lot about Gale. Being with him makes me happy.

Gale is silent for a second. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry. Of course I trust you’  
‘Good’ I say, still annoyed, but then I smile. It’s not a bad thing per se that Gale’s jealous. It means he cares about me and about our relationship, so I let my anger go. ‘You are my boyfriend for a good reason Gale. I like you. I like being with you. And I miss you’ I say in all honesty.  
‘I miss you too’ Gale says. ‘I’m sorry we still haven’t gotten a chance to go on a real date yet’  
‘I know…’ I say quietly. To be honest, I’m very disappointed we still haven’t gone out yet, but school, weekends at my family’s and his soccer always kept us from picking a day. ‘That reminds me.. Johanna and I were talking about going on a double date. I thought it would be fun. What do you think?’  
‘I’m game if you are. But first we’re having our first date. How does next Wednesday sound?’ Gale asks.  
‘That sounds great’ I enthusiastically say.  
‘Great, I’ll take care of everything, babe’  
‘Now, I’m really looking forward to it’ I say laughingly.  
Gale laughs too. ‘Oh! Are you coming over tomorrow evening?’  
‘Absolutely’ I simply answer.

When I go back to the TV room I have a goofy smile on my face. Peeta catches my eyes and he gives me a small smile. I notice it doesn’t reach his eyes and both of our gazes turn back to the TV again.

 

#

 

After ‘Midsomer Murder’ I call it a night and take a shower. When I emerge from my bathroom I find Prim waiting for me on my bed.  
‘Prim?’ I say surprised.  
‘What’s going on with you and Peeta?’ she asks, immediately letting me know why she’s waiting for me on my bed. She never was one to beat around the bush.  
‘What do you mean?’ I ask.  
‘Do you like him?’  
I know what she’s implying, but I _am_ one to beat around the bush. ‘Of course I like him, he’s one of my best friends’  
Prim rolls my eyes at my diplomatic answer. ‘You know what I mean. Do you have feelings for him?’  
I run a hand through my hair before I answer as confused as possible. ‘What are you talking about?’  
‘Oh come on, don’t play dumb. We all saw that little moment you two’ she wiggles her finger at me when she says this ‘had after you and dad sang together. It was a miracle the fire alarm didn’t went off – you two looked like cats in heat’ she says with an amused smile.  
I try to laugh her off. ‘I don’t know what you saw, but there’s nothing going on between the two of us. We’re just friends’  
‘So you wouldn’t mind if I gave it a go with him?’ Prim says with a mischievous smile.

I think I have a small heart attack when my sister tells me she has an interest in Peeta, but I laugh her comment off loudly. ‘Give it a go?’ I say laughing. ‘Pretty sure he finds you too young. Besides, he has a girlfriend’  
‘Oh..’ Prim says disappointed.  
I roll my eyes at my sister. _My sister and her love for boys is going to be the dead of me.._ ‘Aren’t you still dating Marvel anyways?’  
‘No, I dumped his ass last week’ Prim answers. There’s no sadness or regret in her voice, only annoyance.  
‘What?’ I ask surprised. ‘When? Why didn’t you tell me?’  
‘Because I wanted to yell you this weekend’  
‘Then tell me now’ I insist.  
‘He was just very.. immature. I felt like I couldn’t have one serious conversation with the guy..’  
_So, that’s why she wanted to date Peeta. She wants to date someone older.._  
‘Well, he wasn’t good enough for you anyways. I’m sure the next one will be better’ I say and I give my sister an encouraging smile.

 

* * *

 

 

Prim had a great birthday. She got a new laptop from our parents and small princess cut diamond earrings from me, but her face lit up when she saw the cake Peeta made her. She took the opportunity to thank him with a tight hug. I almost felt jealous.  
‘Peeta it’s so gorgeous’ Prim had said. ‘Why are you studying Business? You should work for Buddy Valastro!’  
‘Who?’ I asked confused.  
‘The baker from “Cake Boss”’ Peeta answered. ‘I love that show’  
‘Me too!’ Prim excitedly said and she put her hand on his bicep for a second.  
I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

The cake wasn’t just a hit with Prim, it was also a big success with our guests. And so was the baker himself.  
I had been afraid that spending even more time with Peeta would make the role of just-a-friend-without-feelings I was trying to portray would make me go insane, but to my relief, I didn’t have Peeta to myself for a minute.  
All of Prim’s friends were fawning over the handsome college guy and he even seemed to have charmed off the pants of my parents’ friends.  
He seemed to enjoy himself with all of our guests, so luckily for me I didn’t have to ask him if he wanted to go on another hike and I got to spend some time with my parents again.

 

#

 

‘Thanks again for the cake you made Prim’ I say in the car ride back to Panem U with Peeta. ‘She loved it. And it was delicious by the way!’  
‘It was nothing’ Peeta insists.  
I chuckle. ‘It wasn’t. It really was something’  
Peeta smiles shyly in return and I can’t help that the corners of my lips go up as well.

I hear a text come in on my phone and when I unlock the screen, I see it’s a text from my boyfriend.

**Gale today 6:17pm:** _Almost here? I have a surprise for you (:_

**Katniss 6:18pm:** _In about an hour, can’t wait (;_

‘You don’t have to drop me off at my apartment, by the way’ I tell Peeta. ‘I’m sleeping at you guys tonight’  
‘Okay..’ he simply says, but it’s the way he says it that makes an awkward and uncomfortable tension rise between us.  
I quickly turn on the radio to fill the sudden silence between us and cut the tension. I make Peeta sing along with me and the radio and soon the car is filled with our laughter again.

 

#

  
‘Babe you’re back!’ Gale greets me smiling when I get out of Peeta’s car.  
He gives me a heated kiss and I return it with much enthusiasm. When our lips part, Peeta jokes that he has missed Gale as well. ‘Aren’t you going to greet me with  
the same enthusiasm?’  
Gale and I laugh. ‘Sorry bro, only this girl gets that kind of greeting’ Gale says and he puts his arm around my shoulder and we walk into the house.

‘So, what’s the surprise?’ I ask a little nervous. I don’t really like surprises – I like to know what I’m up against.  
Gale smiles, takes my hand and leads me upstairs. I expect him to take me to his room, but we pass it and we walk up the stairs that take us to the rooftop.  
When Gale opens the rooftop door I find a romantic scenery waiting for me. A candle light dinner under a starry sky. There’s even a bottle of red wine and a vase with roses on the table.

I’m stunned. Gale and I both don’t have a romantic bone in our body, so this definitely takes me by surprise.  
‘I know you’re not really the romantic type of girl, but I still wanted our first real date to be special’ Gale says and he looks me in my eyes when he adds in a whisper ‘because you’re worth it’  
I’m so touched by his sweet gesture I choke out my thank you. ‘Thank you for finding me special enough to go through all this trouble’  
He kisses my lips gently.  
‘To be honest, I had a little help’ he admits.  
‘Really? Which friend of yours was sweet enough to help?’ I ask smiling.  
‘Peeta’

 

* * *

 

 

The following day during business economics I can’t seem to concentrate on Haymitch’s lecture at all. I keep wondering why Peeta would help Gale plan our first date, even though I can guess why. They are close friends, Gale needed help, so Peeta helped him out.

I have absolutely no right to feel upset by this, but a small part of me is. The small part of me that still had a crush on Peeta. The small part of me that still had a flicker of hope that Peeta liked me back.

Peeta helping Gale plan our first date just proves that Peeta only sees me as a friend, that Gale is a great boyfriend and me wining about it makes me a bitch. And yet, I can’t seem to let it go.

‘Thank you for helping Gale with our first date’ I whisper to Peeta, who’s sitting next to me. Gale isn’t here, he felt like sleeping in this Monday morning – again.  
Peeta chuckles. ‘He told you?’  
I nod in response.  
‘No worries, it was nothing’ Peeta says. ‘Did it live up to your expectations?’  
I chuckle. ‘Well, it wasn’t quite the 5 star meal accompanied by the violin player I was hoping for, but..’ I joke.  
Peeta laughs.  
‘No, I’m kidding. It was great. The food, the wine, the stars.. It was all amazing’ I answer. It had honestly been the best date I ever went on. Even if things didn’t always run smoothly with Gale and I didn’t quite feel fireworks when I kissed him, he was a really good guy and last night had been the perfect reminder why I had wanted to be with him in the first place.  
‘Happy to hear so’ Peeta says and he gives me a smile, but it doesn’t light up the blue of his eyes.

We look each other in the eye and for an intense moment we hold one another’s gaze. My breath quickens and his pupils begin to dilate and it reminds me of the night we danced together and almost kissed..

I desperately want to drop my gaze on his lips, but luckily for me my blood reaches my brain in time, so I quickly turn away from him and focuses on Haymitch again.  
_How does he still have this effect on me?_

 

#

 

When I get back to my apartment after classes, Johanna’s home too. ‘How was your weekend?’ she asks me from the couch.  
‘It was good’ I answer. She probably just wants to get under my skin by asking how it was spending a lot of time with Peeta again.  
The last thing on earth I want to do right now is talk about him, so I turn to leave, but she stops me by asking something else.

Because to my surprise, she doesn’t bring him up. ‘How was your mother doing?’  
I’m taken aback by her question. I did inform her about my mother’s illness, but we never talk about it. Our about our families. Or our past. We don’t really talk much about personal topics. ‘She was having a good weekend’ I answer.  
‘Yeah?’  
I nod and have to fight back the tears I feel coming. It always hurts to talk about my mother and her illness, no matter what. ‘Yes, she managed to get out of bed and celebrate Prim’s birthday with us for a couple of hours, so that was great’  
I try to smile, but I’m sure it’s more of a grimace and a single tear escapes me. I wipe it away quickly.

‘I know it’s not easy’ Johanna whispers. ‘And that it hurts like hell’  
I wait for her to elaborate and sit down on a chair. She’s playing with her pen and she doesn’t look me in my eyes. She’s stalling her answer. Or maybe she’s deciding if she indeed wants to elaborate. ‘I.. I lost my mom too’ she says after a long moment of silence.

Her confession surprises me. I had no clue her mother had passed away. Even though there is a big chance that someday – probably sooner than later – we’ll be in the same boat, I don’t know what to say to aid her pain. ‘I’m sorry Jo’ I offer.  
‘Yes me too’ she says in a soft voice, still avoiding my eyes. ‘She was a good mom..’  
I can’t read if she wants to keep talking about it or if she wants me to drop the subject of her mom, but I don’t want to seem disinterested or disrespectful. ‘How did you lose her?’ I ask, in the least eager way possible, but still with a kind tone.  
Johanna finds the strength again to look at me when she answers. ‘She was in an accident. I never got to say goodbye’  
That breaks me. My biggest fear has happened to Johanna. A few tears escapes me.  
‘It was really hard.. Still is..’ Johanna admits. ‘But I learned how to handle the pain and how to live with it. I also inked a tribute to my mom on my skin, that felt really good too’  
‘The compass?’ I remember.  
She nods.  
‘What does it mean?’  
She laughs a little. ‘Isn’t it obvious brainless? It means that my mother will always be with me and guide me in the right direction. Her initials are in the middle of the compass’ Johanna explains.  
‘CM?’ I ask.  
‘Yes, her name was Clair Mason’  
I’m touched by her personal story and the obvious love she has for her mother. ‘It’s beautiful Jo’ I say.

She coughs awkwardly and gets up from the couch. The moment is over. ‘Okay, that’s enough talk about loss for the next couple of weeks’ She gives me a playful smile and wiggles her eyebrows at me. ‘When are we going on that double date?’  
I smile back at her. ‘I’ll text Gale’ I say and I immediately grab my phone.  
‘When is he throwing a party again?’ she eagerly asks.  
‘Next week, with Halloween’ I answer after I send my text to Gale.  
‘Great! It’s with costumes, right?’  
‘Of course! Who’s brainless now?’ I joke.  
‘Ha-ha’ she says unamused and she sticks her tongue out.

Gale almost immediately sends me a text back.

**Gale today 4:52pm:** _I’m game if you still are._

**Katniss 4:53pm:** _I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t. Next week?_

**Gale 4:54pm:** _Sure. Peeta and his girlfriend are joining us too._

 

I almost drop my phone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter will feature the double date and Halloween! :D Hope you're all looking forward to number 6! ;)
> 
> By the way, I recently started another fic on AO3 called 'The Sun and The Rain', if you have the time, please check it out! :D
> 
> How did this chapter sit with you guys? :)  
> xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nervous for you guys and girls to read this chapter! 
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

I spend the next 5 minutes screaming into my pillow.  
_Goddammit!_ I can’t believe I’m going on a triple date – or whatever it’s called – with Peeta and Lavinia!  
_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ A lot of much needed censored words go through my mind.

How the hell do I get out of this? I can’t tell Gale or Johanna I don’t want to go.. Johanna will see right through me and Gale will want to know why.

I could sprain my ankle.. But I could still go to a restaurant with a sprained ankle..  
Maybe I could fake being sick? No, I’m not good enough an actress..  
Family emergency? No, than everyone would immediately think something’s happening with my mom..  
A big test the following day? Johanna has the same tests I have, so I can’t get away with that one..

It doesn’t matter if I can come up with the perfect excuse, it wouldn’t be fair to Gale or to the others to bail. I know Johanna is looking forward to it and Gale saying ‘he’s game’ is just his way of saying he’s looking forward to it as well.

I should just suck it up and make the best of it. Maybe it won’t be that bad..

 

* * *

 

It is. It is _that_ bad..

I was dreading this night so much, I was starting to look forward to it. Because if it would finally be Wednesday night, it would be over and the thought of that damn date wouldn’t be hanging over me anymore like a freaking guillotine.

So when it was finally Wednesday I ran 3 miles to lose the nervous energy I could feel bubbling up, took a relaxing shower after and decided to wear something cute.

But to wear something cute, you have to know what’s cute and I have no clue about things like that and fashion, so I texted Prim.  
I think she was really excited I finally asked for her help in the fashion department, because she texted me back immediately.

 **Prim today 5:01pm:** _Why do you want to look cute? Are you and Gale going on a date?? :D_

 **Katniss 5:02pm:** _Yes. Any suggestions? Or I could just wear a pair of sweatpants or something.._

 **Prim 5:03:** _Funny.. :/ Wear that soft orange dress you have with does black pumps._

 **Katniss 5:04pm:** _Will do. Thanks Little Duck!_

 **Prim 5:05pm:** _Don’t wear your hair in a braid!_

 **Katniss 5:06pm:** _Now you’re pushing it (;_

 

I do as Prim ordered me. I get the soft orange dress – that has been collecting dust for the last couple of months – out of my closet and put it on. My mother and Prim both told (and begged) me to bring it along to Panem U and now I’m glad I gave in.

The colour suits me perfectly. It looks good on my olive toned skin and makes my eyes pop. The dress has short sleeves and a low-cut and round neckline that shows a little cleavage (the cleavage has been made possible by the push-up bra I decided to wear).  
The skirt of the dress starts to flow at the waist and moves nicely around my hips when I walk and ends at my thighs. The dress is not too long and not too short and shows off my legs.

I decided to just let my hair fall down. I didn’t feel like doing something special with it, but at least it’s not my signature braid so Prim can be proud.

Johanna – who’s wearing a long black jumpsuit – and I drove to the restaurant together where we would meet up with the rest.

We’re the last ones to arrive.  
Gale, Thresh, Peeta and his girlfriend are already there. _Did Lavinia dye her hair blonde?_

Our boyfriends get up to greet us. When Gale and I break our kiss and sit down, I see it’s not Lavinia who’s Peeta’s date. It’s Glimmer. _Glimmer..!_  
The girl is wearing a skin tight strapless silver dress – with glitter – where her boobs practically fall out of..  
Peeta is gulping down his beer and when he puts his drink down, he awkwardly waves at me.

I still held hope this night could be fun. I considered almost everyone around this table a friend, but then Glimmer opened her mouth and it all went downhill from there..

‘So, Katie-‘ Glimmer says looking at me.  
‘Katniss’ I correct her a little annoyed.  
She laughs awkwardly. ‘Oh! Sorry.. _Katniss_ , Peeta told me you transferred from Georgetown. Why the hell did you do that?’  
I can see everyone tense up.  
‘I wanted to be closer to my family’ I simply answer.  
‘That’s why you left _New York_?’  
‘Georgetown is in Washington’ I answer.  
I can see Johanna stifle a laugh.  
‘But still…’ Glimmer says ‘It’s _Georgetown_ … Did you miss your family _that_ bad?’ she asks with an mocking expression gracing her features.  
I can feel a scowl settle on my face.  
‘Let’s do some shots!’ Johanna says, thankfully interrupting the conversation I was having with Glimmer.  
I send Johanna a silent thank you and she winks at me in return.  
‘Ooeeee… I like the way Joan is thinking!’ Glimmer says grinning.

‘So, how long have you two been dating?’ Thresh asks Peeta and Glimmer after our meal has arrived. I’m glad Thresh is starting a conversation, even if it’s about Peeta and Glimmer’s relationship, because I could feel another uncomfortable silence come up.  
Glimmer grabs Peeta’s hand and smiles brightly when she answers. ‘Tomorrow we’ll celebrate our two week anniversary!’  
And there it is again – the awkward silence..  
Peeta just starts to drink his next beer and Johanna is about to crack up, so I raise my shot glass and say ‘Well, cheers to that!’

Everyone follows my lead and then Gale starts to talk about the Halloween party.  
‘Peeta! You didn’t tell me the frat is throwing a Halloween bash!’ Glimmer yells in surprise ‘We should go as Mickey and Minnie Mouse! No, wait as Ken and Barbie!’ she squeals excitedly and she even starts to pull his arm like a spoiled child.  
‘We’ll see..’ Peeta mumbles and he finishes his beer. That’s his 7th beer and his third sentence of the night. Peeta’s acting weird. He’s not behaving like the bubbly and social guy I know him as.  
‘Babe what do you wanna go as?’ Gale asks me.  
‘You want to do a couples costume?’ I ask surprised. That possibility hadn’t crossed my mind yet..  
‘Of course.. You didn’t?’ I can see a glint of hurt in his eyes.  
‘No, I think it’s a great idea’ I quickly say. ‘Just didn’t know if you wanted to..’ I take a large gulp of my drink and look back at Gale. I can feel 4 pair of eyes watch our exchange eagerly.  
‘Great’ he says smiling and he putts an arm around my shoulder. ‘I already have a couple of ideas..’ he adds with a wink.  
I laugh. ‘Well, we’ll definitely talk about those ideas first’

‘Let’s get some dessert’ Johanna says when the waiters have cleared out our table. ‘I’m craving some ice cream’  
_I’m craving to get the hell out of here.._  
‘Craving? Are you pregnant or something?’ Glimmer says laughing hysterical. Okay those shots have definitely reached her head. _Or did they turn her brain into mush?_  
‘Yes, I could also eat some ice cream’ Thresh says and Gale agrees with him.  
Great, that means there’s no leaving early for me..

‘Crème brûlée?’ I read out loud when we’re reading over the dessert menu.  
‘It’s a custard base dessert, topped with a layer of hard caramel’ Peeta explains to me. It’s the first time this night he’s talked directly to me or has looked me in my eyes.  
‘You don’t know what a crème brûlée is?’ Glimmer says smiling arrogantly.  
‘She does now’ Gale says annoyed and he sends her a scowl she ignores.  
‘Hmm..’ Glimmer starts. ‘I don’t think I’ll get dessert. I don’t want to get fat’ she says and she closes her menu.  
‘Yeah.. I can see why you’d want to skip it’ Johanna mumbles.  
I choke on my drink because of the laugh that was escaping me and Gale pats my back.  
‘What?!’ Glimmer spats.  
‘I said that I didn’t want to skip it’ Johanna answers sweetly.  
‘Yeah, right!’ Glimmer turns to Peeta. ‘Let’s go’  
_Please do!_  
‘No, I want dessert' Peeta calmly says and even though Glimmer is seething, she backs down.

Everyone orders a dessert except for Glimmer, but when it arrives, she seems to regret her decision and devours the crème brûlée Peeta ordered for himself. I don’t think the poor guy had two bites of his dessert himself.

 

#

 

‘Let’s never do that again’ I say to Gale, when I’m lying in his arms that night.  
‘What? The sex?’ Gale jokes.  
‘No, that’s worth repeating’  
He chuckles.  
‘But the triple date not so much’ I say.  
‘Well, maybe if Peeta starts to date someone sufferable’ Gale offers.  
‘Maybe..’ I whisper, but I’m silently praying I’ll never have to go on a triple or double date with Peeta Mellark and one of his girlfriends again..

 

* * *

 

‘No Gale! I’m not dressing up as Tarzan and Jane!’ I yell.  
‘Well, I’m not dressing up as an Oz wizard, or whatever the hell that is’ he stubbornly says.  
I roll my eyes at him. ‘Johanna, what are you and Thresh going as?’ I ask my roommate who’s in the kitchen making a smoothie.  
She smirks at me. ‘A sexy Cleopatra and pharaoh’  
The sexy version of an already sexy costume. _Of course._  
‘See?’ Gale says.  
‘See what?’ I ask annoyed.  
‘Nothing wrong with showing some skin’ Gale answers.  
I huff. ‘I don’t mind showing some skin! I just want to balance the covered and not covered skin out’  
‘Fine’ Gale relents. ‘You decide’  
‘Grease?’ I try.  
‘Don’t you think that will be too warm?’ Gale asks.  
‘No’  
‘Can we keep that as plan B?’  
‘Sure’ I say and I take a second to think. ‘Mickey and Minnie Mouse?’ I joke.  
Gale and Johanna both laugh.  
‘I can’t wait to see what that twat is making Peeta wear’ Johanna says laughingly.  
‘Poor guy..’ Gale mumbles with an amused smile.  
I ignore the annoyance I feel when I remember Glimmer will be at the party too. As Peeta’s date..  
I try to keep my mind off Glimmer and on our costume problem and I continue to shoot ideas at Gale.

 

* * *

 

‘What?’ I ask defensive.  
Gale and I are getting ready in Gale’s room for the Halloween party that’s about to start downstairs.  
‘Nothing’ he grunts.  
‘Are the angel and devil costumes not sexy enough for you?’  
‘They’re fine’ he mumbles.  
I sigh. ‘Next year you can pick, okay?’ I give him a smile. ‘Let’s go downstairs’

 

#

 

An hour later I’m slightly hammered. Gale left me alone on the dance floor to go outside and smoke a joint when Peeta comes up to me. He’s dressed as a doctor with bloody scrubs. Earlier I saw Glimmer dressed as a slutty nurse.  
‘Have you seen Glimmer?’ Peeta asks me and he searches our surroundings.  
‘No, I think she’s outside’ I answer.  
‘Thank God’ he mutters. ‘Want to dance?’  
I probably should say no, but I’m dancing in his arms before I realise it.

Just like the last time we were dancing together, Rihanna’s “Stay” is blasting through the speakers.  
Only this time it’s not the fast, upbeat remix version, but the original one. I really do hate the universe right now – making me dance on the same song we almost kissed on.  And not for the first time, I wonder how my life would’ve looked like if Peeta and I indeed had kissed that night.

 _“Not really sure how to feel about it._  
_Something in the way you move_  
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._  
_Yeah, it takes me all the way._  
_I want you to stay, stay”_

 

 _Stupid Rihanna_  
‘You don’t like Rihanna?’ Peeta whispers.  
I hadn’t realise I said that out loud.  
‘Not anymore’ I answer.

My mind screams that I have to end this dance. It’s too intimate. His hands are on my lower back, one of his fingers is actually touching my ass and we’re pressed tightly against one another.  
My arms are around his neck and are being tickled by his soft curls. Our cheeks are pressed lightly against each other and I can feel Peeta’s breath run over my shoulder.  
‘Nice costume by the way’ I mumble.  
Peeta chuckles. ‘Yes.. Thank God I could persuade Glimmer to go as a nurse.. I didn’t really want to go as Mickey Mouse or Ken..’  
‘I feel your pain’ I joke. ‘Gale wanted to go as Tarzan and Jane..’  
Peeta laughs. ‘Yes, I can totally see you as a jungle girl. Very classy’  
I chuckle. Things with Peeta are always so easy. I feel so much lighter around him. So more at ease. He can always make me laugh..  
With Gale the good is always overshadowed by our bickering..

Even though Peeta’s musky and cinnamon-like smell soothes me, I can’t help but feel the pain close to my heart. Dancing with him was a bad idea. Being close to him, but not in the way that is my darkest desire, always hurts a little.

So, at the end of our second dance I break our intimate pose and say I’m going to look for my boyfriend.

 

#

 

I had expected that Gale would stand out in the red devil costume he’s wearing, but I couldn’t find him, so I went to the toilet.  
The door was unlocked so I walked right in, but the toilet was being used.

‘Johanna?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Oh, hey Brainless’ she says, sounding a little absent. ‘What are you doing here?’  
‘The same reason as you – I need to pee’ I answer.  
‘I’m almost finished’ she promises.  
‘Great..’

I wait for Johanna to finish up and when she’s washing her hands, I do what I came for.  
'Were you just dancing with Peeta?’ Johanna asks when she dries her hands.  
'Yes..’  
'Why?’  
‘No specific reason Mason’ I answer.  
'Katniss..’ she turns around and looks me dead in my eyes. ‘Is there something going on with the two of you? Are you cheating on Gale?’  
'What?’ I yell, angry by the accusation. ‘No!’  
‘Then what’s going on between you and Peeta?’  
‘Nothing!’ I answer.  
‘Didn’t look like nothing to me..’ Johanna mumbles.  
‘Doesn’t matter what it looked like’ I say. ‘There’s nothing going on..’  
‘Fine’ Johanna says, but she doesn’t look convinced.  
We’re both silent for a moment. I get off the toilet and wash my hands. ‘Let’s find the guys for some beer pong’ I say when I’m done drying my hands.

 

* * *

 

The next morning – or is it already afternoon? – I wake up with a hangover. I slept over at Gale’s again and when I roll over to face his side of the bed, I notice Gale’s gone. I get out of bed, putt on some sweatpants and go to the kitchen. I desperately need coffee and some aspirins. _My poor brain.._

When I enter the empty kitchen and walk to the sink, I see Glimmer, Peeta and Gale standing outside. Glimmer is yelling at Peeta and I can see that he’s desperately trying to shut her up. He’s as red as a tomato and he tries to drag her away from the house.  
Than Glimmer yells something to Gale.  
I register the look of fear Peeta gets and he quickly turns to Gale.  
Gale starts to yell too and balls up his hand. Before I understand what’s about to happen, Gale’s fist collides with Peeta’s face and Peeta stumbles to the ground.  
Before Gale can beat the crap out of Peeta, I run outside.

‘You son of a bitch!’ I hear Gale yell.  
‘Gale!’ I yell and I launch myself between him and Peeta. ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’  
Gale ignores me and looks past me to Peeta. ‘You call yourself a friend? A brother?’  
I turn to Peeta, who is now standing again. His black eye is already starting to show. ‘What the hell is going on?’ I demand.  
Glimmer is seething, she’s sending poisoned daggers my way.  
Peeta just looks past me to Gale with a guilty expression in his eyes. What the hell did I walk into?  
Before I can ask for an explanation again, Gale grabs my arm and drags me back to the house. ‘Let’s go’ he says.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a dramatic exit wasn't it? ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! :)

It’s a couple of weeks after the Halloween party. I still have no idea what the hell happened between Glimmer and Peeta and why Gale was so furious with Peeta. It must have been really bad, because Gale and Peeta are still fighting.   
Gale doesn’t want to talk about it and Peeta seems to avoid me like the damn plague. Every time I bring it up to Gale he either shuts me down, ignores me or he starts a fight. 

‘Why do you want to know so badly?’ Gale had yelled when I asked him about it again when he came over.   
‘Because I want to know what reason your best friend gave you for hitting him!’ I yelled back.   
‘He’s not my best friend anymore!’   
‘Well he’s still your frat brother or whatever’ I tried.   
‘Not if I had my way’ Gale mumbled.   
‘What? You want to kick him out of the fraternity?’ I asked dumbfounded.   
‘I can’t..’ Gale had angrily muttered. ‘He’s VP and the other guys would vote against..’   
‘Gale!’ I yelled astonished.   
‘What?’ he spat.   
‘You seriously wanted to kick him out? He’s your best friend!’   
‘Not anymore’ Gale repeats.   
I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. ‘Maybe you should go talk to him’ I advise in a softer tone.   
‘No’ he simply says. ‘Not yet anyway’

 

* * *

 

 

Peeta and Gale’s fight isn’t worth my time anymore, I decide a couple of weeks later. Christmas break is finally coming up and I need to finish a lot of papers and study for tests. More importantly, my mother’s health is declining, so I decide to head home a day early.

It’s the last day before the break and I drive to Gale’s house to grab the scarf I forgot. It was a present my parents send me a week ago, so I don’t want to come home without it. Gale has a soccer meeting or something so he isn’t at the house. The plan was to grab my scarf from Gale’s room, get back into my car and drive home to my family.   
I hadn’t taken in account that there might’ve been people in front of the door and blocking my way out.

People as in Peeta.. Who I haven’t spoken with in over a month..

I can see the shock in his eyes when he sees me and his cheeks get a rosy tint. For a moment it seems like he has swallowed his tongue. ‘Hey.. Katniss..’ he mumbles and he gives me a polite smile.

A sudden rush of anger goes through me. What the hell is he thinking?! That I’ll act civil towards him after he ignored me for a month? That I’ll forgive him because he’s greeting me now? That I’m really that kind of pushover? ‘Yes, that is my name’ I say quasi surprised. ‘I expected you forgot it after a month of ignoring me’ I give him my best scowl.

A sudden rush of anger goes through me. What the hell is he thinking?! That I’ll act civil towards him after he ignored me for a month? That I’ll forgive him because he’s greeting me now? That I’m really that kind of pushover? ‘Yes, that is my name’ I say quasi surprised. ‘I expected you forgot it after a month of ignoring me’ I give him my best scowl.   
Peeta flinches and drops his gaze to the floor. _Good.._ ‘I’m sorry..’ he mumbles to my shoes. ‘It’s just, Gale’s your boyfr-‘   
‘Yes, what the hell happened between the two of you?’ I spit out angrily, interrupting him.   
He looks up in surprise. ‘He didn’t tell you?’   
I shake my head.   
‘Then I’m not telling you either’ he says.   
‘Peeta!’ I yell. _I can’t believe it!_ ‘Why won’t neither one of you tell me what your fight is about?’

‘Are you headed to your family now?’ Peeta asks, dodging my question.   
I just stare at him for a moment. Waiting for him to break and answer my question, but he doesn’t budge. ‘Yes’ I finally answer him.   
‘Tell your family I said hi, okay?’ Peeta asks and then he adds ‘And wish them a merry Christmas and a happy new year from me’   
Goddammit, why is he so considerate and sweet? How on earth am I supposed to stay mad at him? ‘You too’ I mutter.

I turn to take my leave, but then I notice something hanging above the door.   
‘Mistletoe?’ I ask surprised.   
‘Yes, I think Cato put it up there’ Peeta answers. ‘One of his schemes to kiss a lot of chicks’   
‘Really?’ I ask quietly, suddenly feeling a tad nervous.   
Out of the corner of my eye I can see him nod.   
We look at one another for a moment and I can feel my heart beat rapidly in my chest.   
‘Does it work?’ I ask. My voice even sounds raspy to my own ears.   
‘I don’t know..’ he answers. His eyes travel to my lips, but quickly go back to my eyes again. He clears his throat awkwardly.   
‘So..’ I start. _Here we are. Standing under the mistletoe.._   
‘So..’ he says.

Peeta makes the decision for us. He leans forward and presses his lips on mine.   
My eyelids close and my lips respond to his. Peeta takes my lower lip in his lips and sucks it gently. Even though the kiss only lasts for a few seconds, our tongues don’t touch and we keep our hands to ourselves, a bolt of electricity goes through me. _Wow…_   
Peeta breaks our kiss just as sudden as he started it. ‘Don’t tell Gale’ he whispers and when I finally open my eyes, I see Peeta walking away from me.

 

#

 

The ride back to my family is a blur. The only thing on my mind is the kiss – obviously.. I can still feel his lips pressed softly on my own. I can still feel the electricity going through my veins. I can still feel the loss I felt when he pulled away.

I shake my head a couple of times in the hope it’ll make my thoughts disappear, but it doesn’t work. I turn on the radio and make myself sing along to the radio. This works for a couple of songs and then I remember how Peeta sang along with the radio. The memory of his shrill voice makes me laugh out loud. And then a sadness creeps in. _I wish he was singing along with me now._

Then the guilt creeps in. _I kissed someone other than my boyfriend!_ Not just anyone else, the guy he despises at the moment..

I’m so sick and tired of the amount of feelings I keep feeling since the beginning of this school year, I decide to turn them off for the rest of the day.   
I need to arrive at my family safely, then I’ll spend all my time thinking of them and then maybe tomorrow, I’ll think of Peeta and Gale. It’s now clear to me that I have to do something. I don’t want to feel conflicted, guilty and miserable anymore.

Not thinking of Gale and Peeta proves to be very easy. As soon as I see my mother, all I can think about is her. I’m startled by the way she looks. She’s way too skinny, her skin is practically see-through and she can’t even stand on her own.

She’s losing her battle.

 

#

 

‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me mom was doing this bad?’ I angrily ask Prim when we’re in my room together after dinner.   
‘She made us promise not to..’ Prim says and I can see she’s on the brink of tears. ‘She didn’t want you to worry too much or leave school and miss too much classes..’   
‘That’s exactly why I transferred to Panem U! So I could get here in a few hours if something happened!’   
‘I’m sorry Katniss..’ Prim says and my sister starts to cry. ‘I wanted to call you so bad..’

All of my anger leaves me and I can feel my own tears roll over my cheeks. ‘No, I’m sorry for yelling at you Little Duck’ I hold my sister in my arms. ‘I just don’t want you to do this alone.. I want to help dad and you take care of mom.. I want to be here..’   
‘I know..’ Prim says and I break our hug. ‘But you know our educations are very important to mom and dad. And you’re here now..’   
I wipe a tear from her cheek. ‘I’m here now Primmie..’

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days are hard on all of us. My mother can’t stomach food anymore and she sleeps all day. My dad still has to work, but he calls us every chance he has for an update on mom.   
Prim and I clean the whole house, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, clean the yard, make the meals and clean the car. We do everything we can to stay feeling useful.

On Christmas day, when Prim is calling her best friend Rue with an update on our mom, and dad is in the kitchen preparing our Christmas dinner, I sneak into my parents’ room to check on mom.

She’s still sleeping. I quietly lie next to her on the bed. I watch her sleep for a couple of minutes. The constant rhythm of her rising and falling chest sooths me. She looks so fragile.. So ill.. Her face is so pale and hollow. I fight back my tears.

She opens her eyes. ‘Hey honey’ she whispers when she focusses her gaze on me. Her voice is hoarse.   
‘Sorry, did I wake you?’ I ask.   
She tries to shake her head. ‘No.. But I’m glad to have woken up to your beautiful face’ she whispers smiling.   
I laugh. I feel a tear fall over my cheek. ‘You’re so beautiful Katniss.. Inside and out..’   
I try to laugh her off, but my laugh even seems fake to my own ears. ‘You’re my mom. You’re supposed to say that..’   
‘Doesn’t matter. It’s true’ my mom says and she closes her eyes.   
‘Do you want to sleep?’ I whisper.

‘No.. I want to talk to you.. How’s school?’   
I don’t want to bother my mom with my whole love triangle drama – a subject I still haven’t had the time to think about – or any other form of drama. ‘Fine’ I simply answer.  
‘How are your classes?’   
‘Interesting’ I answer. Not as good as in Georgetown, but that’s okay. I still don’t regret transferring to Panem U. Especially not now. I don’t tell these thoughts to my mother of course. ‘Haymitch is a great professor, by the way’   
‘Yes, how’s he going?’   
‘I think he’s doing fine’ I answer. ‘Still sober. And I caught him smile a couple of times’   
My mother chuckles. ‘Good. Tell him I said hi’   
‘I will’   
‘How are things going with Gale?’ she asks.   
‘They’re still going..’ I answer. I can’t help the sigh that escapes me.   
‘But not well?’

‘I just.. Sometimes I feel like we’re too similar. We’re both headstrong and prideful, and those are not good characteristics to have..’ I admit.   
‘Those are not necessary bad features to have. They can make a person strong and self-assured, but you’re right. Too much of those qualities in one relationship can end it..’   
I take a moment to think about what my mother just said to me and then I continue. ‘I like Gale, I really do.. but sometimes we drive each other so crazy.. I feel like I can’t even really talk with him anymore..’   
‘And you can really talk with Peeta?’ my mother asks with a knowing smile. She laughs. ‘You’re blushing!’   
My hands instinctively go to my cheeks. I can feel the heat warming my palms. ‘I’m not!’ I lie.   
My mom laughs again. _It’s so good to hear the sound.._ ‘Honey, there’s no need in denying it. It was clear to us all when he was here that weekend’

I sigh. I could deny my feelings for Peeta, but I don’t want to lie to my mom. ‘I don’t know what to do..’ I whisper.   
‘If you’re really in love with Peeta, you have to break up with Gale. It’s not fair to him. Or yourself’ my mother wisely tells me.   
‘It’s not so easy..’ I sigh again and then I add ‘I do care about Gale and on paper we’re perfect..’   
‘The heart wants what it wants honey’   
_That it does.._ I tell my mom my biggest doubt. ‘I don’t even know if Peeta likes me that..’ I whisper.   
‘Trust me, he do-‘ my mom says, before she breaks out in a coughing fit.   
I softly pat her back. ‘Do you want a glass of water, mom?’   
She shakes her head. ‘No, I’d like to go downstairs now..’

After my dad carries my mom downstairs and puts her softly on our couch, I hand her a glass of water.   
‘Thank you sweetie’ my mom says.   
‘Do you want something to eat Tessa?’ my dad asks my mom.   
‘No, thank you Dave, I’m all right’   
The look in my father’s eyes turns desperate. ‘But you have to eat. Please, love..’ my dad begs.   
‘Maybe my appetite will grow if you and Katniss sing me and Prim a song?’ she asks, smiling hopefully.   
My dad looks up to me with a slight smile, the question in his eyes.   
‘Of course mom’ I answer.

 

* * *

 

 

That’s largely how we spend our winter break. Prim and I take care of our household and when our dad gets his week off, he starts to help too.   
Whenever my mom is feeling well enough to join us downstairs, my dad and I sing her and Prim a song or we get old scrapbooks from the attic and bring up old memories.   
Prim and I make a few short hikes in the forest behind our house, when it feels like the walls are starting to close in around us. We both need the fresh air and our parents need some time for the two of them.

‘There’s not much time left, is there?’ Prim asks me quietly on one of our walks. The fear and pain is audible in her voice.   
‘No..’ I answer in the same tone.   
Prim gets a twig from the ground and angrily breaks it in two. ‘Why is this happening?!’ she spats. Angry tears fall down her cheeks.   
‘I don’t know Prim.. No one does..’ I say and I look to the ground. The snow is so pretty..   
‘I don’t want to lose her..’ Prim says in a small voice.   
‘I don’t either’ the tears fall from my eyes. ‘Let’s go home’

When we get back home, I check my phone for the first time in days. I have a couple of texts from Johanna asking me how I am, how my family is and if there’s anything she can do for me.

**Katniss today 4:07pm:** _She’s getting worse and worse. We’re all trying to be strong and spend as much time as possible with her. Thank you for caring._

I also have a few texts from Gale, pretty much saying the same thing as Johanna, so I send him the same text back.

There are no texts from Peeta, but with everything that’s going on right now, I don’t care enough to think about that a second longer. I go back to the living room where my family is and spend one of the last moments I have with my mother.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys and girls think? Please be kind! :) xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe that once upon a time, this story was supposed to be trilogy?
> 
> Mistakes are mine, the characters are SC's and - I hope - a good read for you! ;)

It’s a couple of days after New Year’s when my mom passes away.

My mom’s doctor came to check up on her in the morning. When he closed the bedroom door behind him, he spoke in a soft tone to Prim, my dad and me in the hallway.  
‘It’s not going to be long now..’ Dr. Aurelius started. ‘I’ve tried to make her as comfortable as possible, so she won’t feel any pain. You should all go to her, this might be your last chance..’  
‘Thank you doctor’ my father whispered.

I let the doctor out and when I return, my dad is still standing in the hallway.  
‘Your sister wanted a moment alone with your mother’ he explains in a quiet tone. His grey eyes, that are so similar to my own, are already broken. He’s already mourning the loss of his wife, even if she’s still with us. I can barely hold my tears to myself, seeing my dad in so much pain. I give him a hug and he wraps his arms around me. We stand like this for a minute and then Prim comes out of my parents’ room.  
‘Your turn’ she tells me and she wipes a tear from her cheek.

‘Katniss..’ my mother whispers when she sees me and she gives me a small smile. ‘We never got a chance to finish our conversation about Peeta..’ Her voice is so soft, I can barely make out what she’s saying.

I let out a sound that sounds like a choked chuckle. ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s not important’ I say and I wipe a tear from my cheek.  
‘It is to me honey’ my mom whispers. ‘Your happiness is so important to me’

She takes my hand in hers. _She’s so cold.. Too cold.._

‘Promise me, you’ll be happy. Be with a guy that thrills you as much as when you went hunting as a child. Be with a guy that makes you even happier than taking a long hike would make you’  
I squeeze her hand softly. ‘I promise mom..’  
‘And promise me you’ll take good care of yourself. I know you. You’ll try-‘ she stops to take a deep breath. Even talking is too hard for her, but she continues anyway.. 

‘You’ll only take care of your sister and dad when I’m gone and you’ll forget about yourself in the progress. But I need you to- to put yourself first. Graduate. Find a job you love. A guy you love. I need you to be happy’  
‘Mom-‘  
‘Of course they’ll need you just as much as you’ll need them, but they don’t need you to hold their hand every step of the way. They’re stronger than you give them credit for' She looks at me with tears in her eyes. 'Promise me, Katniss..’ she begs me.

‘I promise’

‘That’s my girl. I’m so proud of you. Your strength, your heart, your stubbornness..’ she whispers, smiling at me, before she adds ‘I love you honey and I always will, no matter where I am. Remember that’

‘I love you too mommy’

When I leave my mom, my dad goes to her. He’s with her for 15 minutes or so. Prim and I sit next to each other on the floor. We don’t talk, we just hold each other’s hand.

When my dad opens the door, Prim and I join our dad at my mom’s death bed.

‘Our beautiful girls..’ my mom whispers when we enter.  
‘Yes, our beautiful girls’ my dad agrees.  
‘Don’t ever forget what a happy life we led, okay?’ my mom asks.  
We all nod in response.  
‘And don’t forget.. how.. happy you all made me..’ she whispers.  
‘You made us happy too’ my dad whispers. He takes her small, pale hand in his large, strong one and he kisses her knuckles.

A single tear falls over my cheek.

‘You’ll be happy again and don’t feel guilty when you do, because when you’re happy, I’m happy. And I’ll watch over all of you..’ mom promises us.

We’re all quiet for a long moment when my mom asks my father if he can sing her their lullaby.

‘I’m so tired..’ she says when he’s finished. ‘I’m going to sleep now..’  
‘Of course honey, we’re right here with you’ my dad says and the silent tears fall over his cheeks.

A few minutes later her breathing stops.

She’s gone.

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days are a blur. We all focus on the funeral and it’s arrangements, so we don’t have to think about the person we’re burying. We all know she loved pink roses, Reba McEntire and Sam Smith, so we don’t have too many discussions, which is a relief. None of us three can handle too much right now.

Our neighbours and friends all bring us food, so neither one of us has to go grocery shopping or cook anything. We just get something out of the overstuffed fridge and put it in the microwave.

I text my friends about my mom’s passing and her funeral. I turn off my phone immediately after. I don’t want to be reachable right now.

My dad is a broken man. He doesn’t cry in front of me and my sister, but his eyes are always red and his face is puffy. I don’t worry too much about that – I’m the same. Crying is much easier when no one’s watching you.  
I am worried about the amount of scotch my dad is drinking. He used to only enjoy a glass of wine at dinner in the weekends, or a beer when he watched the news. Now he drinks 3 or 4 glasses of scotch a day..

It worries Prim too, but we decided to let him be for the moment. If his drinking becomes something permanent, we’ll go talk with him. And Haymitch.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s the day of my mom’s funeral and there are about two hundred people here to pay their respects. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances are all joining us in our last goodbye.

My parents are certainly loved by a lot of people.

Johanna and Thresh are here as well. I know this is very hard for Johanna, but yet, here she is.  
‘Thank you so much for coming’ I say and we give each other a very un-Katniss-and-Johanna-like hug.  
‘Of course, Brainless.. Of course I came’ she whispers in my ear. I can hear her pain in her voice.  
‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ Thresh offers me and my family after I introduced them to my family.

*

‘Gale..’ I quietly say when he offers his condolences to us.  
‘Hey Catnip..’ he pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my crown. ‘I’m right here baby’  
‘Thank you’ I whisper and I mean it. I’m so grateful that Gale dropped everything to come here to pay his respects and it feels so good to be comforted by him. It’s so nice to be weak for a moment, to break down – even if it’s only for a minute – and for someone else to pick up my pieces.  
‘I’ll talk to you after the funeral, okay?’ he kisses my cheek and moves on to my dad.

*

I hadn’t realised I had been waiting for him, but when I see his blond curls I let out a relieved sigh.  
‘You’re here..’ I say and I smile slightly.  
‘Nothing could stop me Katniss’ he says and he gives me a hug. The moment I’m in his arms, I feel so safe. So protected. I didn’t realise how much I missed him the last couple of months until now. He breaks our hug way too soon for my liking.

‘I have something for you’ Peeta says and he gives me a small bakery box with a ‘Mellark’ logo on top of it.  
I let my fingers trail over the dandelion he drew on the box. ‘A dandelion?’ I ask.

‘It’s the symbol of rebirth, of hope and warmth. After a long and cold winter, the dandelion promises us spring. The season of new life. That after everything bad that has happened, good comes along again’ he tells me sheepishly with red cheeks.  
He nervously scratches the back of his neck. ‘I’m sorry, it’s stupid’

‘No, I love it’ _and you_. ‘Thank you’ I say.  
A cheesy scent fills my nose. ‘Cheesebuns?’ I ask with a watery smile.  
He nods. ‘I thought you and your family could use some comfort food’ Peeta says and he gives me a sympathetic smile.

There are people behind Peeta waiting to give their condolences, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to him just yet. ‘My mom said to tell you hi, by the way’ I say, desperately trying to get a moment longer with Peeta.  
‘Thank you..’ Peeta says. ‘She was such a kind person. She deserved more, you all do..’  
‘Thank you’ I mumble and I give him a quick hug before he goes to my dad.

 

******

 

My uncle, Maysilee Donner – my mom’s best friend, Prim and I all say something during the service.

My uncle tells a funny story about his sister, Maysilee tells everyone what an amazing friend my mom always was to her and I recite a poem my mom loved. But it’s Prim’s eulogy that takes the crown.

‘My mom was my best friend’ she starts. ‘I could always laugh with her, I could cry with her. She always gave me the best advice, even if I didn’t want to hear it.. We both loved romantic comedies and hated James Bond movies – sorry dad – and we both had a crush on Ryan Gosling – again, sorry dad’ she says and a small smile graces her lips when she looks at me and our father, before she continues with words of love and admiration for our mother.

My dad chuckles and seeing him laugh again, gives me hope. My mom was right, they’re both strong. We all are. We were going to be all right, even if it would take a while..

 

* * *

 

 

Two weeks after the funeral I returned to Panem U and the following next three months I went home every weekend. I helped my sister with school, tried to pick up the pieces that my mother left behind, tried to help my dad with his grief and tried to live with my own.

My dad still enjoyed alcohol far too much for me and my sister’s liking, so we talked to our father about his drinking and I brought Haymitch home a couple of weekends. Talking with Haymitch really helped my dad. Haymitch knows what grief and alcohol can do to a person. I don’t know what they were talking about all those nights on our porch and I doubt I’ll ever know, but I’m glad they talked, because our dad stopped drinking completely after that.

As for my boy drama, it all seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since I kissed Peeta under the mistletoe and I knew I didn’t have the time to think about it. The feelings I once had for Peeta were covered in my grief and I didn’t have the time nor energy to look for them.

I broke things off with Gale. I told him there was just too much happening in my life at the moment and I just didn’t have the time to be in a relationship.  
He was furious and hurt, but I begged him to understand.  
He begged me to not make the – in his eyes – mistake I was about to make.  
I told him my dad and sister needed me and I needed to focus on school.  
He told me he needed me too and that he loved me.  
I apologised again, wiped the tears from my cheeks and left him.

It was a miracle, but Prim and I both graduated that year. We both made that promise to our mother and we wanted to fulfil that promise.  
Prim got accepted into Princeton, but she decided she would take a year off. She wanted to take a job, travel through Europe and learn how to enjoy life again. My dad and I supported her decision and we were proud of her, just like our mom would’ve been.

After graduation I got a job offer in Denver at a company that specialises in renewable energy. I wanted to decline the offer at first, because I didn’t want my dad to be all alone since my sister would be travelling through Europe for the summer and I wanted to stay closer to him.

‘I’ll never speak with you again if you decline that offer for your dream job for your old man’ he had said.  
‘Dad-‘ I tried.  
‘-I mean it Katniss’ my dad had insisted.  
I searched his face for the sincirity of his words, and I found it in his eyes. ‘Are you sure?’ I had asked.  
‘Yes, I’ll be fine. I have Haymitch and Prim will be back in September’  
A wave of gratitude knocked me in my dad's arms. ‘Thank you..’ I said and while I wrapped my arms around him. ‘I’ll come every holiday and I’ll teach you how to use Skype’ I promised him.

Johanna and Thresh moved to Washington together. She found a job in a company similar to the one that offered me a position, and Thresh followed her.  
Talking with someone that knew exactly what I was going through had helped me enormously. There had been nights where I felt like I was drowning in my tears and then Johanna would come into my room and we’d cry together. She picked up my pieces and I returned that favour.  
I had grown to love the weird roommate I had met my first day at Panem U and our goodbye had been tearful, but we promised we’d stay in touch.

Peeta started working for his father’s company after graduation. Turns out Peeta had a secret. His father didn’t just own a _few_ bakeries, he owned a chain. A chain called “Pâtisserie Triomphe”, which is the Starbucks of bakeries.  
I hadn’t seen much of Peeta after my mom’s funeral. We were still friends, but school and my family came first and after Gale and I broke up, I didn’t think I’d be welcome at the frat’s parties anymore.  
Not that I wanted to go.  
Peeta also got back together with Lavinia a week after Gale and I broke up, so I started to see Peeta even less than before..

And Gale? He went with me to Denver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of part 1.
> 
> Part 2 will be set two years after graduation, where Katniss finds herself in a difficult point in her life.
> 
> Please don't keep me anxious, what did you guys and girls think and feel? :) xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 begins :)  
> Enjoy, all mistakes are mine.

**(2 years later)**

 

‘I’m home!’ I announce when I walk into my apartment.  
‘Okay..’ I hear Gale mumble from our living room.

I shake my head and let out a weary sigh. Each day seems identical to the one before. I come home from an awful day at work and I get greeted by an unenthusiastic boyfriend. _Why would today be any different?_

All of my days blend together and now my life in Denver seems like a perfect grey. No highs and no lows, just a whole lot of middle that only reaches to the low. All of the colour seems to be sucked out of my life.

 _Colour._ I yearn for a colourful life. Filled with, love, laughter, fun and even some pain. Because if you can feel pain, you can _feel_ , and bad makes all the good even better and brighter. Just like a rainbow requires sun _and_ rain. _Colours_. I wanted them all, woven into my life. Making the perfect rainbow, as if it had been made by an artist.

_Artist._

_Peeta._

His face comes back to me. Peeta's face filled with the colours I yearn for. His blond curls, yellow and shining as bright as the sun. His blue eyes, as beautiful as a clear blue sky, but seemed to sparkle like a starry sky when he laughed. His pink lips that curled up into the most beautiful smile. The same lips that I had kissed once, what now seemed like a lifetime ago.

I hadn’t seen or spoken with him in years. I missed him. Not just the features of his face, but also the sound of his voice, his laughter, his wit and everything else. I missed our friendship – now more than ever.

After I hang up my coat, I walk to the fridge and get a beer. It’s become a bad habit of mine. Every day after work I need a beer or two to take the edge off, but I can’t help myself. Work just really makes me that miserable and my boyfriend isn’t a source of happiness to me lately either..

‘How was your day?’ I ask when I sit next to Gale on the couch. He’s still sitting on the exact same spot as when I left this morning..  
‘Nothing special’ he mutters, his eyes still on his FIFA game on the TV.  
I take a gulp from my beer. ‘Did you do the laundry today?’  
‘Sorry babe, I forgot’ he answers absently, followed by a ‘Yes!’ when he scores in the stupid game.  
I wipe a drop of beer from my chin. ‘Did you go to the store? We really need some toilet paper’  
Gale takes a moment before answering. ‘Not _yet_..’ he answers. _Like he’s actually still going to the store today.._  
I finish my beer in one gulp before saying ‘Mind if we eat pizza tonight? I’m too tired to cook..’  
‘Yes, it must _suck_ to have a job..’ Gale sarcastically says.

Gale has lost his job due to the economic crisis two months ago. He hasn’t had a single job interview in that time and it’s not starting to look bright either..  
Gale being unemployed has definitely put a strain on our relationship, but our relationship definitely wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows before that. We can’t seem to have a simple conversation that doesn’t end in us bickering and we haven’t been on a date in months. Sometimes it feels more like we’re roommates than a couple. We haven’t even had sex in six months.

I’m too tired to make this in another fight. A fight we already had countless of times, so I roll my eyes at him. I don’t know if he saw me – his stupid game is still getting all of his attention – but if he did, he doesn’t let it show.

I call the pizza guy for some food and then I go to the bathroom. I check my Facebook while I’m peeing.  
Johanna’s face comes up on my feed. I haven’t spoken with her in almost a year.. I hope she’s doing well. I like the photo she posted of Thresh and their dog Bruno.

When I scroll down, a photo of Prim pops up. Prim is now studying Psychology at Princeton and her first year is almost over.

After graduation, Prim wanted to travel through Europe, but she fell in love with Paris and she decided she would blow off the rest of her trip and the rest of her plans. She worked at a museum as a tourist guide for a year. She even met a nice guy named Adrien and they had a fling. But when the year was over she returned home to her eagerly waiting family and her dream of going to college.  
‘Brains first, boys last’ my dad had said smiling, proud his daughter had learned to speak French fluently, but even more proud she still was going to college.

When I get off the toilet, I wipe my ass off on a freaking tissue, because my stupid boyfriend was too lazy to go the store today.

 

* * *

 

 

God, I hate my job. My boss is a paranoid dictator named Coriolanus Snow and my co-workers are all brainless ass kissers. The building is filled with fluorescent light that sucks the life right out of me and gives me a headache. I’ve worked here for two years and I haven’t had a workday yet I can look back on and smile.

When I got this position, I was so happy. I really thought I was going to help our environment by helping find a way to a new source of renewable energy and promote the positive effects renewable energy has.  
Instead of doing that, I’m more of a personal assistant to Mr. Snow – who’s probably the worst human being that’s walking this world at this moment. I swear that man would give his heart, soul and children to the devil himself if it meant he could become more powerful..

So, when that asshole fires me the next day, it’s a shock, but it’s also a relief. Sure, I have no job, no income and no prospects, but at least I don’t have an excuse anymore why I’m wasting my life at Snow’s company.

And when I make my way back to my apartment, my mother’s words come rushing back to me.

_‘I need you to put yourself first. Graduate. Find a job you love. A guy you love. I need you to be happy’_

I promised her I would, but the only thing I did was graduating Panem U. I took a job, that turned out to be horrible and I kept it for two years. I took the guy back who I knew wasn’t right for me, only because I was broken and scared.  
Scared of living in the real world, just like Gale was – probably still is. And so broken that when Gale promised me he would take care of me and that he would love me, I took him with me to Denver.

God, I spend two years being miserable, even though I _promised_ my mother I’d do everything to make me happy!

So when I get back home with a box of my office shit in my hands, I’m furious. Furious with Snow for being such an awful human being. Furious with Gale for being such an ass. He’s playing his FIFA game on the PlayStation again, instead of doing the laundry, the dishes or the groceries like he promised he would. But most of all, furious with myself for taking the easy way and for not allowing myself the happiness my mother wanted me to have.

‘We need to talk’ I say when I walk into the living room. I tell him I got fired, how relieved I was because I realised how miserable my job was making me and how I then realised how miserable our relationship is making the both us.

What follows is Gale denying everything that’s wrong with our relationship and what’s wrong with his lifestyle. We start to scream and yell at each other. I state out how unhappy we both are with each other, how there’s no happiness in our relationship.

Gale yells that everything I point out is a load of crap. That we’re both under a lot of stress now we’re both unemployed and that everything will work out once we both have jobs again. ‘Everything will be just as good as it was before’ he ends his speech with.

‘And how good was before, Gale?’ I yell. ‘We always seem to annoy each other. We always bicker. We haven’t had sex in 6 months Gale and we’re barely 25!’

‘Then let’s do it right now!’ Gale yells.  
‘Jesus Gale, that’s not going to magically fix things!’ I yell. I’m over it. ‘I’m not happy Gale. And I’m sure you’re not either’  
‘What we have is good. It doesn’t get better than this!’

I sigh and bring my hands to my face. I’m tired of all of this. I’m done. ‘It does get better than this..’ I say in a soft tone.  
Even though I spoke quietly, Gale heard me. ‘Jesus Katniss, you’re such a selfish bitch!’ he yells and he storms out of the apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

‘I’m so proud of you’ Prim says.  
‘We both are’ my dad agrees.

It’s a couple of days after I got fired and left Gale.

When Gale stormed out, I immediately booked a flight home, packed all of my suitcases and left Gale a note I was going home.

My sister arrived from Princeton today. She’s on her spring break, but decided she’d rather spend time with us than go get wasted in Mexico or something.

‘How can you be proud?’ I sulk. ‘I got fired and I dumped by boyfriend. I don’t have a job, no place to live and it doesn’t look like I’ll have either one of those two soon..’

‘We’re proud because you finally ended things with Gale. It was so obvious that you were unhappy with him..’ my dad answers.  
‘Yes, we were really worried.. We actually wanted to talk to you about Gale, but now we don’t have to anymore’ my sister cheerfully says.  
I rub my forehead. ‘Was it that obvious?’  
‘Yes’ my dad and sister say at the same time.

‘I never understood why you took him back’ my sister says and she looks utterly confused.  
I take a gulp from my wine. ‘It was just a wrong decision. A mistake’ I say.  
‘He was the wrong choice, Katniss’ Prim says in a soft tone. She gives me a meaningful look and I know exactly who she means was the _right_ choice.  
‘Yes he was..’ I mumble.

‘And about the job – I’m relieved you don’t work for that company anymore’ my dad says. ‘That company made you miserable. You should’ve quit ages ago’  
‘But now I got _fired_..’ I sulk.  
‘Yes even better’ my dad says. ‘If you’d quit because you didn’t like your boss, you’d never get a new job somewhere else. No one is going to hire someone who didn’t get along with their last boss. That horrible man did you a huge favour’  
I nod. My dad’s probably right. The relieved feeling I got when I walked out of that company, knowing I’d never have to return, comes rushing back. I smile at my dad and sister.

‘So, what do we do now?’ I ask.

 

* * *

 

 

We spend the rest of Prim’s week off on our boat, sailing over the lake. In the evenings we fire up the grill, play music and watch the stars.

We bring up fond memories of mom. We finally get a smile when we think of her, we’re not only drowning in our tears anymore. It doesn’t mean we don’t miss her anymore, we’ll always miss her – especially her laughs, company and her love – it just means that we’ve started to heal. Just like mom wanted us to.

I decide to take a spring break myself. When Prim goes back to college, I go back to Denver to get all of my stuff and I’ll start applying for jobs again.  
My dad said I could come live with him for a while. I happily took his offer. I don’t want to live with Gale in that apartment anymore and I don’t want to go apartment hunting in Denver again. I have no reason anymore to keep living in Denver and I never liked that town..  
Although it probably wasn’t the city itself, it was _me_. I made way more bad memories in Denver than good ones, so I’m glad I can leave that place behind me now.

My dad helps me pack up all of my stuff from my old apartment. Gale isn’t present when we get there and we don’t see him at all that day. Or the next one. God only knows what he’s doing.

Maybe he’s looking for another apartment. There’s no way he can pay for this place on his own.

Maybe he’s off fucking some chick, but I honestly don’t care.

My dad and I finish packing in two days and ship off everything before we go back home.

 

#

 

I feel so much lighter when my dad and I are during the plane ride home. I hadn’t realised how unhappy I was with my job and with Gale, until Snow fired me. Now that they’re both out of my life, I feel so much better. So much happier.

‘I feel like things are looking up for me now’ I say smiling when the plane is in the air.  
‘I know they are’ my dad says smiling back at me. ‘You can do whatever you want dear. The world is at your feet’  
‘I guess it is..’ I say and I let out a content sigh.

‘So what do you want to do now?’ my dad asks.

_What do I want to do?_

The whole way back from Denver to my father's house isn’t even long enough for me to figure that one out.

 

* * *

 

 

‘You can stay here as long as you want Katniss’ my dad assures me a couple of days later. ‘You can stay here for the rest of your life doing nothing, if you want to’  
I laugh. ‘The past couple of days here have been amazing dad, but I don’t think I’ll be happy when I have nothing to do the rest of my life’  
My dad laughs too. ‘Yes, you never were the type of person to sit around doing nothing for long. So what’s the plan?’

‘All I know is that I want to get a job at a company where I can do what I got a diploma for’ I answer. ‘But where that new job is? I have no clue. I’m just going to send every one of those companies my application. I’m also going to call Johanna and Madge. See if their companies need someone’  
‘Good thinking honey’ my dad compliments me. ‘And don’t worry. You’re qualified, you graduated with great grades and you’re a good worker. If there’s a job out there – you’ll get it!’

The faith my father has in me makes me smile. ‘Thanks daddy’

 

* * *

 

 

The good news comes sooner than expected. A few weeks later Johanna gives me a call.

‘Whatsup Brainless?’ she greets me when I pick up my cell.

I involuntarily smile. I might not have missed the nickname, but I did miss the girl using it. ‘Nothing much since I lost my job and moved out of Denver. How’ve you been doing?’  
‘Great actually. Thresh and I got engaged!’ she yells excitedly through the phone. I have to hold the phone away from my ear for a second so I won’t get ear damage.

‘Johanna, that’s amazing! Congratulations!’ I say smiling.  
‘Thank you. I’m really happy..’ she says in a gentle and happy tone.  
‘You deserve it, Jo’  
‘And you do too. I’m actually not only calling to share my great news, but I’m also calling you to tell you that I’ve arranged a job interview for you at my company’

‘Are you serious?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes. It turns out the company is looking for another environmental analyst to join my department, so I recommended you’  
‘Thank you so much Johanna’ I utter. I can’t freaking believe it!

‘So don’t screw up! I don’t want your brainless behaviour reflecting bad on me’ Johanna says in a stern matter.  
‘Ha-ha’ I say sarcastically. ‘Funny’  
Johanna laughs. ‘Kidding. You’ll do great’  
‘When’s the interview?’  
‘Next Friday’ Johanna answers.  
‘Then I’ll see you then!’

 

* * *

 

 

‘Katniss, come on in’ Thresh greets me with a warm smile when he opens his front door for me.

‘Thank you Thresh’ I say smiling gratefully. ‘How have you been?’  
‘I’ve been great’ he answers grinning. He’s smiling so broadly, I wouldn’t be surprised if his face would split in two.  
‘Yes, congratulations on your engagement. I can’t believe you were brave enough to as Jo’ I joke.

Thresh laughs. ‘God only knows how nervous I was! But all of that disappeared when she said yes’  
I chuckle. ‘Where is the soon to be Mrs. Johnson?’ I ask.

‘Johanna, Katniss has arrived!’ Thresh yells upstairs.  
‘She’s here?’ I hear Johanna yell from upstairs.  
‘Yes!’ Thresh yells back. Then he turns to me. ‘Can I take your coat?’  
I gratefully give Thresh my coat and then Johanna runs downstairs. ‘Brainless!’ she yells excitedly.

We give each other a hug. ‘I missed you too’ I say.

 

#

 

‘How’s your family doing?’ Johanna asks me when we’re having dinner that evening.

I tell Johanna and Thresh about Prim. Her adventures in Paris, her adventures as a psychology major student at Princeton and that I saw her a month ago when she spend her spring break at my dad’s house.  
I then tell them about my dad. How hard losing my mom was on him. How Haymitch helped him lay off the booze. How my dad eventually got back to work fulltime, but that he’s now thinking about working part-time.

Johanna and Thresh catch me up on their families and work. Eventually we talk about our mutual acquaintances. I really, _really_ want to know if they kept in touch with Peeta, but I don’t have courage enough to ask. I keep biting my tongue, so I ask something else instead.

‘Have you heard anything from Gale in the last couple of months?’ I ask them. I know that when Gale and I were still together, Gale and Thresh didn’t have a lot of contact, but maybe they have now.  
‘No, nothing’ Thresh answers me.  
I nod and take a gulp of my wine. ‘Okay, well I thought maybe he’d reach out to you after we ended things’  
Thresh lets out a humourless chuckle. ‘I don’t know why he would reach out to _me_ , we didn’t exactly part as friends when we left Panem U’  
I feel my eyes grow wide as saucers. ‘You didn’t?’ I ask surprised. ‘I thought all of you brothers were great friends..’  
‘We were, but then..’ Thresh trails off and he looks at his fiancé.

Johanna and Thresh share a look and that one look is enough to make them reach a decision. They don’t need words to understand each other.

The relationship they share reminds me of the one my parents had and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever have something like that. I kind of always knew that I would never have something like that with Gale and a big part of me still wonders if I could’ve had that with Peeta, if things would’ve gone a different way.

Both Johanna’s and Thresh’s gaze find my confused one again.

‘Things kind of shifted in the house after Gale and Peeta had their fight. Peeta was my best friend – still is, so I took his side’ Thresh explains and then he adds ‘And after Gale tried to kiss Jo, he shot our friendship straight to hell, for all I care’ Thresh’s happy features of a moment ago have morphed into an angry one. His eyes are filled with an anger I didn’t think the sweet Thresh I know him as, had inside of him.  
But then again, I understand where he’s coming from. If a friend of you tries to kiss your girl, you’ve got all the right in the world to get angry.

‘Are you serious?’ I ask shocked by Thresh’s explanation. I turn to Johanna. ‘Gale tried to _kiss_ you? You never told me that!’ I feel an annoyance bubble inside of me. Did Gale try to cheat on me?! With a close friend of mine?!

‘It was during that time in senior year after you broke up with him and before you got back together’ Johanna answers. ‘I didn’t want to bother you, you already had so much on your plate..’  
I nod. That I can understand. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore..’ I assure them and I feel my annoyance leave me just as quickly as it came. ‘I didn’t know their fight affected you too’ I tell Thresh. ‘I’m sorry’ I offer him.

Thresh just shrugs. ‘Like I said, Gale and I were never that close. It was worse for Peeta’ I nod again. ‘I guess so..’ I mumble to my food, but then I realise something and I look up to my two hosts again.

After all these years I still don’t know what played between Gale and Peeta. What reason they had to stop being friends and cause a rift between all of the guys in the house. And I really want to know now, so I ask Thresh ‘What was the fight about?’

Thresh looks at me with surprise evident in his eyes. ‘You don’t know?’

I shake my head impatiently. _Tell me, dammit!_

Thresh looks at Johanna again.

This time it’s Johanna that answers my question. ‘You happened’

And before either one of them can elaborate or I can even ask another question, the doorbell rings and interrupts us.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super excited for the next 2 chapters. It will be Peeta's side of the story beginning with the moment he met Katniss, which means you'll finally learn what the fight was about! ;) 
> 
> Thoughts? :) xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, #10, from Peeta's POV.   
> Hope you enjoy! :)

**Peeta’s POV**

**3 years ago (Beginning of Senior Year)**

 

I’m walking through the hallway of one of the more fancier dorms on campus and handing out flyers to everyone I see about the party my frat is throwing tonight.   
‘Hope to see you tonight’ I tell the cute blonde when I tell her about the party.   
‘You will’ the girl says and bats her eyelashes at me.   
I give her wink and continue my way. I’m still eyeing the backside of the cute blonde when I walk into something.

When I turn my head I see I didn’t walk into something, but in _someone_. A petite girl with a raven coloured braid and silver eyes that seem to light up the world.

‘Ouch!’ she says and her hand goes to her nose. ‘Watch where you are going!’ she spats.

When her silver orbs angrily stare into my blue eyes, I feel a bolt go through me.   
It’s something I’ve never felt before and I doubt I’ll ever feel it again. It’s like I’m being pulled towards her, like we have a connection..   
The girl gives me a scowl and I feel my lips turn into a smile. Even when she looks angry I can’t help but be happy that she graces me with a look.

‘Sorry’ I say, ‘I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going. Are you okay?’   
‘I’m fine’ she answers, still scowling. ‘Just watch where you’re going the next time!’

She starts to walk away from me and I feel a panic rise within me. I have to see her again. I want to know her name, know how her skin feels against mine, what her favourite colour is. I want to know everything about her.

‘Wait!’ I yell and I grab her wrist so she can’t slip away from me. ‘Would you like to come to this party my fraternity is throwing tonight? So I can make this up to you?’ I ask her and I give her a slight smile.   
‘No, thank you’ she says and she looks even angrier than she did a moment ago. She pulls back her wrist and leaves me all by myself.

I can’t help but supress a smile. _Game on_ , mystery girl.

 

#

 

‘Remember I told you that an old friend of me just enrolled at Panem U?’ Gale, president of our frat and one of my best friends, asks me later that afternoon.   
I nod.   
‘Well, she’s coming tonight to the party’ Gale says and he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.   
‘The hot girl you wanted to bone when you were sixteen?’ I ask.   
Gale smiles. ‘Yup and now I have my shot’   
I shake my head, but wish him good luck.

My mind goes back to the girl with the braid and the scowl and a pang of hope in seeing her tonight goes through me again. I know she said she wasn’t coming, but I figured you could never know, so I put some extra effort in my look for tonight.

The party is going strong when I find out there is a God listening to me. She’s actually here.

‘So, you decided to show up’ I say when I walk towards her and her friend.   
She turns around and can’t hide the surprise in her eyes. ‘This is your frat party?’ she asks surprised.   
‘Yes’ I answer smiling. I can’t believe she’s here! ‘How’s your nose?’ I ask her.   
‘My nose is fine’ she answers. I decide to ignore the annoyance in her voice and push my luck. ‘Would you girls like something to drink?’ I ask, still only looking at her.

‘Catnip!’ I hear Gale yell from behind me.   
‘Gale!’ the girl says excitedly and I watch how the two of them give each other a hug. ‘It’s so good to see you again. How’ve you been?’ Gale asks her, but before she has a chance to answer, Gale adds: ‘I see you already met Peeta’ and he turns his gaze quickly to me before his eyes shoot back to the girl.   
‘Not really..’ the girl says. ‘Peeta, this is Katniss Everdeen. The childhood friend I told you about. Katniss, this is Peeta Mellark, my best friend and vice-president of Delta Pi’ Gale says as he introduces us.

_Fuck.._ Gale’s old high school friend he still wants to bone is the girl I met today.. The girl I now also want to bone.. _How the hell is this happening?!_

I try to kill the disappointment inside of me and give her my million dollar smile. ‘We actually did meet this afternoon’ I tell Gale.   
‘Yes, but you never introduced yourself’ Katniss says with a small smile. ‘This is Johanna, my roommate’ Katniss continues, introducing the girl standing next to her.   
‘Do you guys want something to drink?’ Gale asks the two girls.   
‘Absolutely’ Johanna says. ‘Lead the way, Handsome’ and both of the girls follow Gale to the house.

For the second time today Katniss leaves me standing by myself, but this time I don’t feel hopeful I’ll get to know her in the way I want to.

 

* * *

 

 

**Dad today 2:25pm:** _Did you already went to Dodici? I need to know if our shipment has arrived safely and if people like our pastries._

 

I look at my dad’s text that has awakened me from my sleep. _Crap.._ I promised my father I’d go to the on campus coffee place yesterday and tell him how the pastries my dad’s company just started supplying Dodici were being received by the customers.

**Peeta today 2:26pm:** _On my way now. I’ll keep you posted._

 

When I walk out of the house, I can’t believe my luck. My eyes land on the girl I so desperately wanted to spend some time with yesterday, but didn’t get the chance to because Gale was attached to her hip.

‘Katniss!’ I yell and I wave at her. ‘Hey, what are you doing here?’ I ask her with a big smile.   
‘Hey, Peeta’ she greets me. ‘I’m picking up Johanna’s car. We left it here this morning’   
‘Safe call’ I say. Everyone at the party had been drinking a lot last night. ‘Are you headed back to campus? Could I maybe get a ride?’ I ask, possibly a little too eager. This could be my chance to spend a little time with her.   
‘Sure, but it’s three times as long as walking..’ she says.   
_Crap_.. She doesn’t want me to come with her. ‘I don’t mind, unless it’s inconvenient for you..?’ I ask and I can’t seem to look her in her eyes anymore.   
‘No of course not, it’s not a problem at all’ she quickly says and she gives me a warm smile.

When I woke up today, I would’ve never guessed I would spend my afternoon with Katniss Everdeen, but that’s exactly what happens. The beginning of our car ride may be a bit stiff and awkward, but I can sense her warming up to me and when we’ve arrived at campus, I don’t want to say goodbye yet.

Katniss agrees to a coffee and our natural conversation continues. When we get to Dodici, the on-campus coffee shop, I notice that a lot of people are eating a pastry and are enjoying them. To my delight ‘Dodici’ has almost run out of the baked goods my dad’s company supplies them.

Katniss is kind enough to treat me on a coffee, so I buy her some cheesebuns. I’m really anxious to know how she feels about them, because I helped my dad create the recipe. For an odd and unknown reason, because I barely know her, Katniss’ opinion matters to me.

Katniss notices my family’s name on the bag. ‘Mellark? Are they family of yours?’ she asks me when we sit down somewhere with our coffees.

So I tell her what I tell everyone, it’s not a lie per se, it’s just a different kind of truth.

‘Yes, my family owns a bakery and they made a deal with the owners of Dodici to sell our baked goods here’ I answer.

The truth is that my dad owns “Pâtisserie Triomphe”, a chain of thousands of bakeries across our country. It’s not just a normal bakery, it’s also a coffee and lunch place. The pastries we sell there still carry the ‘Mellark’ logo, a small wink to me and my family to reminds us where we came from before my dad became a multi-millionaire. It’s also easier to make deals to supply ‘Mellark’ pastries to coffee places like ‘Dodici’, because it wouldn’t look good for them to sell “Pâtisserie Triomphe” pastries, just like ‘Starbucks’ wouldn’t sell muffins with a ‘Dunkin’ Donuts’ logo on them.

Katniss seems to love my cheesebuns and she even moans when she takes her second bite. The sound that escapes her lips does something to me. My heart speeds up and my body turns uncomfortably warm when I picture Katniss making those sounds in the dark, underneath me. My breath hitches in my throat when she licks her fingers. _God.._ It’s torturous.

I lost the willpower to look away. ‘I’m glad you like them’ I say a little hoarse and I quickly take a sip of coffee to hide my upcoming blush.

‘I should go home. Johanna’s coffee is getting cold’ I hear Katniss say, ‘Thank you for the cheesebuns and I’m sorry I ate all of them..’

I laugh and she laughs with me. ‘Don’t worry about it’ I tell her.

She gets up to leave, but I want – need – to see her again. ‘You have business economics tomorrow too, right?’ I quickly ask.   
‘Yes, how did you know that?’ she asks surprised.   
_O God, now I seem like a total stalker, knowing her schedule better than she does.._ ‘Sorry, I don’t want to seem like a creeper..’ I begin and for the umpteenth time today I blush. ‘Gale told me you study AES and I think I saw Johanna in that class a couple of times’

‘Well that does make sense’ Katniss jokes, ‘Johanna isn’t exactly hard to miss, even in a large crowd’   
_Please.. Who’s Johanna again?_ ‘She is when you’re in that crowd’ I say and I give her a wink. ‘Save me a seat tomorrow?’   
‘I’ll try’ she says and then she leaves me.

I keep staring after her, until she disappears from my eye-sight. I can’t help myself, she’s like a magnet pulling me towards her.

 

* * *

 

 

I like her. Not just because she’s stunning and she turns everyone’s head without even realising it, but because she’s funny, clever and a good person. She has an effect over me I’ve never felt before. It doesn’t matter how crappy my day is, if I get to talk with Katniss, I forget everything and nothing else matters. Being near her makes my insides feel all mellow, warm and happy. Yes, I do realise how ridicules and sappy that sounds, but it’s just the way it is.

I can’t believe my luck when I find out she’s a total detective geek just like I am and I want to find out more about her. Katniss is a book to me and I want to study every page.

So, when she asks me to make a portrait of her and her sister for her mother, of course I say yes.

‘What are you drawing?’ Thresh Johnson, one of my best friends and fraternity brother, asks me when he walks into my room and finds me bend over my desk.

‘A drawing’ is my witty answer.

Thresh hunches over me to take a peek at my sketch of Katniss and her sister. ‘You got it bad, dude’ he says and my bedroom fills with his laughter.

‘What- No- I don’t know what you’re talking about’ I awkwardly deny, while stumbling over my words. What is she doing to me? _I used to be great with words._   
Thresh just laughs – no roars with laughter – in my face. ‘Dude, it’s written all over your face. Every time you get a text, you either look really happy or fucking disappointed. You pretty much spend all your free time with her and if someone says her name, your eyes light up’ Thresh says amused and then he grows a little concerned ‘And now you’re _drawing_ her..?’   
‘Okay, first of all, Katniss and I are just friends, so I don’t know what you’re seeing on my face and second, she asked me to make this drawing for her mother. Nothing creepy going on here-‘

‘Katniss’ Thresh interrupts me, followed by a very smug ‘See?!’ while he points at me. ‘You’re eyes shine like pixie dust, Mellark’

_Fuck._

‘You’re an open book, dude. At least to me, but we’ve known each other since we were 10, so..’   
I sigh. No need in denying it any longer. ‘Fine, okay. I like her – a lot’ I admit.   
‘You two spend a lot of time together, so I’m pretty sure she likes you too. Just ask her out, bro’ Thresh advises me.

_Yeah, why not?_ It’s not like it hadn’t crossed my mind yet, but I guess I just needed a push. ‘You’re right’   
‘I always am’ Thresh says with a smug grin. ‘Now, what I actually came here to do – can I borrow your soap?’

 

* * *

 

 

The Monday after she gives the portrait to her mom, I plan to ask Katniss out, but she beats me to it. _Or does she?_

After I ask her if she wants to come to a party at the house that weekend – to gauge her reaction to spending even more time with me – Katniss tells me that the Film department is screening ‘James Bond: The Living Daylights’ next Thursday and asks me to come with her.

‘That’s one of my favourites!’ I enthusiastically reply to Katniss’ invitation, ‘So yes, absolutely!’

So, she definitely likes spending time with me, but did Katniss just ask me out on a date? She doesn’t use the word date once, but she also doesn’t underline that we would just be going as friends.   
Maybe I could use this as a test? To see how us going to do movies would feel like and be. If it feels as great as I expect it to be, I’ll ask her out when our non-date has ended.

 

* * *

 

 

In a house full with guys, silence is hard to come by, so that’s why I often go to the library to study. School and education are very important to me, it always has been, and it’s very important to my father and to me that, if I ever take over my dad’s company, I’m competent and qualified to fill his shoes.

Guys like Gloss and Gale are more into parties, girls and their hobbies than their academic futures, but I know where I’m headed and I know that I need to take my studies seriously, if I want to succeed. Not that I’m not someone who can’t have a good time, every weekend I reward myself with a party with my frat brothers and if a girl catches my eye, we take the party together to my room.

But since I met Katniss, girls haven’t really caught my attention.

‘Hey Peeta’ I hear someone behind me say.

I already know who greeted me before I turn around to greet her back. It’s one of the girls that has found their way to my bed.

‘Hey Lavinia’ I say nicely.   
‘Long time no… _see_ ’ she says in a subtle tone. ‘How’ve you been?’   
‘Good’ I answer. ‘Really busy though’ I nod to the books that are on the table in front of me.   
‘We should get together sometime soon’ Lavinia says.   
I swallow uncomfortably. ‘Uuuuh..’ I utter. I hate rejecting people, to cause them pain. ‘That sounds great, but like I said, I’m really busy at the moment..’   
Lavinia nods. ‘I understand. If you find some time in your schedule, text me’ she leaves me with a smile and a wink.

If everything goes as I hope it will, I won’t have time for any other girl than Katniss for a long time.

 

* * *

 

 

Things are going great Thursday night, until someone interrupts us.

‘Peeta!’ Glimmer greets me elated and wraps me in a hug and I can see Katniss tense up by the intrusion.

Glimmer is a girl I met at one of the frat’s parties during sophomore year and she always seeks me out when she’s at the house. We made out a couple of times, but nothing more. She seems like the type of girl that’s not up for a one night stand, and to me, she’d be only that. She’s nice enough and hot, but she’s a little too _fake_ for me. Too materialistic.

‘Glimmer, hey’ I say while awkwardly patting her back. ‘You’re a James Bond fan too?’ I ask when she lets me go.   
‘God no, one guy shoots at another and then again, again and again’ she answers with a bored look, but she quickly replaces it with a bright smile. ‘But what a coincidence that we run into each other here. I was just thinking about you the other day’ she says and she winks at me

_O God.._ How is this going to look like to Katniss, who’s still standing next to me? The discomfort and annoyance practically oozes out of her. I bring the coke I was drinking to my lips and let out an annoyed sigh before I take a zip. The night was going so well..

I’m about to say goodbye to Glimmer, but before I have the chance, she lays her hand on my bicep and asks in a seductive tone if she’ll see me this weekend.   
‘Peeta I have to go’ I hear Katniss saying next to me. ‘I have to get up bright and early tomorrow, so I’ll see you at the party Saturday’   
Before I can even mutter a ‘Wait!’, ‘Stop!’ or even a goodbye, Katniss is already walking out of the door, leaving me in the claws of Glimmer. _Fuck.._

 

* * *

 

 

Thursday night hadn’t ended the way I hoped it would, but Katniss was still coming to Gloss’ 21st birthday bash, so at least I could spend some time with her tonight.

It’s Gales, Thresh an my turn to cook for the house and we’re all chopping away when Gloss interrupts us.

‘Let’s get laid tonight, fellas!’ Gloss roars.   
‘Planning to!’ Thresh says and he wiggles his eyebrows.   
‘Someone in mind?’ Gale asks.   
‘Yes’ Thresh answers and he leaves it at that.

He doesn’t have to tell me who the girl is. I already know. It’s Katniss’ roommate, Johanna, that has Thresh wrapped around her finger. I caught them making out a couple of times behind the house and, just like Thresh said, Thresh and I have been friends longer than we haven’t and I can read him like a book too.

‘Aaaaaaah!’ Gloss yells. ‘Thresh has been struck by cupid’s arrow! What about you Mellark? Someone special caught your eye?’

I don’t want to tell Gloss or Gale about the crush I have on Katniss for the simple reasons that it’s none of their business and that I don’t know how Gale still feels about Katniss. I did run into the two of them having lunch yesterday and it seemed like they were having a great time together..

‘No, there’s no one..’ I say in a unaffected tone and I shrug. ‘I’m just going to hook up with the first hottie I see’ and I give them a dangerous smile.

‘No, I didn’t think so’ Gloss says amused. ‘You’re not Panem U’s most sought after bachelor for nothing’ and he snickers.

I have to bite my tongue before I tell them that tonight, all of that could change.

 

#

 

I’ve been impatiently waiting for Katniss to show up tonight and when she finally arrives, I whisk her away with the excuse I need a partner in crime at the beer pong table.

After Katniss and I share a celebratory hug over our win, she drags me to the dancefloor where we dance together.

Her backside is pressed against my front and I put my hands on her hips as we move. One of her hands travels to my neck and pulls me in closer. The scent that is so distinct hers, fills all of my senses and for a moment it’s like we’re the only ones in the world.

I forget completely what’s going on around me with Katniss pressed against me and with my hands all over her body. Being so close to her doesn’t quell my hunger for her, the feeling only intensifies. I can’t wait to touch her bare, olive toned skin with my fingers, lips and tongue.

Katniss turns her head and we look one another in the eye. Her pupils are fat and in them I can clearly see a look of want. Her gaze drops to my lips and I can see her lean in and so do I. _Finally._

I’m about to kiss her senseless when she’s pulled away from me. _What the fuck?_

It’s Gale. Saying to Katniss he needs to speak with her.   
‘Now?’ Katniss asks annoyed.   
‘Yes, Gale. _Now_?’ I ask angrily, hoping Gale can read the look in my eyes. _Fuck off dude, you’re interrupting something. Leave us alone._

‘Yes now’ Gale says and he drags Katniss away from me.

_Goddammit_ , I think to myself. Just when we were about to kiss. Could Gale have picked a worse moment to interrupt us?

I walk to the keg to get some cold beer. The temperature in this room and the close proximity to Katniss I had a moment ago, make my body temperature uncomfortably high. But nothing that a cold beer can’t fix.

I’m gulping down my drink when a girl wraps her around me from behind.

I quickly turn around, hoping to find Katniss ready for kiss-opportunity number 2, but it’s Glimmer.   
‘Hey there s-stud’ she slurs. ‘Let’s dance!’   
‘Actually-‘ is the only thing I get to say, because she drags me to the dancefloor.

Glimmer wraps her arms around my neck and she pulls me down for a kiss. She takes me by off guard, so I just stand there awkwardly while her lips hungrily devour mine, but when I’m over the initial surprise, I put my hands on her hips and push her away from me.   
‘I have to go’ I say, without meeting her eyes and I quickly make my escape to the kitchen, where I hope to find Katniss.

And I do find her, but not in the kitchen. She’s standing a few feet away from me. Kissing Gale.

_Kissing_ Gale.

I’m so shocked for a moment that all I can do is stare at them, while they consume one another. A pang of hurt in my heart makes me realise that this is the last place on earth I want to be, so I go outside where I run into Lavinia.

‘There you are’ I say and I give her a sly smile. ‘I was just looking for you’   
‘Were you now?’ she asks and I take her lips in a heated kiss, giving both Katniss and Gale a run for their money.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write Peeta's side of the story in multiple chapters, because otherwise it would be a too large of a chapter and it would've taken me longer to share at least the beginning with you than I wanted to. :) 
> 
> I hope I'll have chapter 11 later up this week, but no promises :) Ch. 11 will continue to be about Peeta's senior year, so I promise you've got a lot to look forward to! :)
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter and if you did, please let me know! :) xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing with Peeta's part of the story from the moment the last chapter ends :)

**Peeta's POV**

 

Katniss kissing Gale has dissolved all the feelings I had for her. It couldn’t be clearer to me she reciprocated Gale’s feelings all along and was using me to get him.

All I feel towards her now is anger. About Gale I don’t feel any different. Yes, he got the girl, but he never knew that I wanted her too and we’re still friends.

I’m so angry with Katniss for using me, that I’ve ignored her ever since Gloss 21st birthday party. I don’t sit next to her anymore at business economics, thankfully the only class we share. I don’t even spare her a glance.

If my dad could see my behaviour, he’d be ashamed of me. I was raised to be kind, polite and forgiving. But there are things you can’t easily forgive, like when a parent abandons their child. Like my mother did with me and my brothers. From that experience I learned to never turn your back on people, but Katniss has hurt me so bad, that everything my parents ever taught me (willingly and ‘accidently’), has been pushed aside by my stubbornness.

But then the texts come after a week of ignoring and avoiding Katniss.

 **Katniss today 10:59am:** _Want to grab lunch today?_

 **Katniss 11:24am:** _1pm?_

I suppress the urge to text her back that she now has a boyfriend for that and delete her texts. A couple of days later though, I receive one again.

 **Katniss today 1:12pm:** _Want to make Abernathy’s assignment together?_

Again, the devil on my shoulder tells me to ignore her and I do. She can study with Johanna or Gale for all I care. Katniss doesn’t take the hint though and I receive another text a few days after the last one.

 **Katniss today 3:03pm:** _Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while. How are you doing?_

That’s when I start to doubt. If Katniss really didn’t want to be friends or had only been using me, then she wouldn’t have been texting me the last couple of weeks to ask to meet up. Maybe she just wanted us to be friends, but nothing more, and here I was, being an asshole to her because I didn’t get my way.

Yes, I was hurt and angry, but a larger part of me didn’t want to lose Katniss. Since I’ve met her, she became a really good friend of mine and I didn’t want to miss out on a great friendship because of my petty feelings. I overhear Gale saying that Katniss has the flu, so I decide to make her some soup as a peace offering and then I go to her with some comfort food and a weak excuse to make amends.

 

* * *

 

 

Lavinia stays over more nights than she doesn’t, so naturally the guys start to wonder what’s going on between us.

‘Nothing going on with her outside of my bed’ I tell Gale, when, he too, asks about it.  
‘Really? ‘Cause everyone thinks so’ Gale says sceptical.  
I involuntarily tighten my grip on the beer I’m nursing. ‘I know so’ I say, getting annoyed. ‘What can I say? She’s just a good lay’ I joke.  
Gale chuckles. ‘So you haven’t met your match then?’

_I thought I had._

The jealousy that I still feel whenever I think of Gale and Katniss together, leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I shallow a big gulp of the cheap beer before I answer. ‘No’  
‘Katniss thought the two of you made a cute couple’ Gale informs me. 'She said so when you brought her along to my match'  
That catches my attention more than I want to admit and I look up to Gale. ‘Did she now?’  
Gale’s back looking at his phone again, so he misses my surprised and annoyed reaction, so he just nods.  
‘Well you can tell your _girlfriend_ there’s nothing going on with me and Lavinia’ I get up and leave and slam the door a little too hard behind me.

 

#

 

The rumours of me and Lavinia dating have reached Lavinia as well. That’s not necessarily a problem, but that she believes them to be true, is.

‘We should go on a date’ Lavinia says that very day I told Gale we weren’t an item.

 _Fuck._ Well, here goes nothing. ‘I don’t think we should’ I start and I can already see the anger and hurt start to form in her eyes. ‘Lavinia, I think you’re a great girl, but I’m just not in a good place right now to have a relationship’

Lavinia angrily slams the tea she was drinking on my desk. ‘Really? The ‘it’s-not-you-it’s-me’ speech?’ she spats.  
‘I’m sorry, I don’t want it to sound like that, but it’s true. I just have a lot going on right now, with school and my dad’ I lie.  
‘Fuck you Mellark!’ she yells.  
I feel awful for hurting her. She’s become a casualty in my feelings for Katniss and no one deserves a fate like that. ‘I’m sorry’ I offer her again in a soft tone, but she gets her stuff without a word and storms out.

 

* * *

 

 

The next Monday Professor Abernathy pairs me and Katniss up for the next assignment. I’m relieved that I get to work with her. She’s intelligent and hand working, the ideal partner. For a school project that is, of course. And we’re good friends again, so that makes working together way easier than with a stranger.

‘When do you want to get started?’ I ask Katniss when we walk out of class.

Our schedules for this week don’t agree, so we have a small problem. The only way to finish our project before Monday is if I go with Katniss to her family’s home this weekend. I don’t feel comfortable coming with her. I don’t know her family well enough to just come stay the night and it’s also Prim’s 18th birthday, so I’d feel like an intruder, but there’s no other way, unfortunately.  
Then there’s also the fact that I have a - big - crush on her. I shouldn’t be spending so much time with the girl I like who’s the girlfriend of one of my best friends. Could I even handle being alone with Katniss for half a weekend? What if my feelings deepened? Or I blurted something out? Or if her parents hated me? Or if things between Katniss and me become awkward? _O God.. I’m already a nervous wreck._

But it’s the only way to finish this paper before Monday and I need to graduate with good grades.  
‘Uhmm.. Are you sure?’ I mumble and I feel my cheeks warm up.

Katniss nods. ‘It seems like the only solution to me’  
‘Only if it’s okay with your folks..’ I say. ‘And I’ll head back to campus Saturday night, so your family can celebrate Prim’s birthday without an intruder’  
Katniss gives me an adorable laugh. ‘You won’t be intruding. My mother can’t wait to meet the artist that’s made her the portrait of her daughters’ she says smiling.  
‘I’m hardly an artist..’ I say with crimson cheeks.

‘Don’t sell yourself short’ Katniss says and she squeezes my upper arm.

It’s the first physical contact we had since our dance together and the memory rushes vividly back to me and makes me feel the same kind of want I did then. My eyes dart from Katniss gaze, to her hand on my arm and then to her eyes again. I need to swallow hard so I can compose myself.

Katniss removes her hand from my arm like I burned her and, after a weird wave, bolts to her next class. She leaves me alone, standing awkwardly in the hallway, frustrated and wishing a thousand things, while I watch her get the hell away from me.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that week Gale comes up to me. He probably wants to talk about the fact that I’m spending Friday night at his girlfriend’s parents’ house. I can’t imagine him being too thrilled about that – I wouldn’t be if I was him.  
Not that Gale has to worry about me trying to sweep Katniss off her feet. It’s clear to me that she cares about him a lot and I’m not that kind of friend.

‘Listen, dude’ I start. ‘You don’t have to worry-‘  
‘-Why should I be worried?’ Gale asks confused. ‘I needed your help with planning a date with Katniss’  
‘Oh’ I say stunned.

‘What were you talking about?’ Gale asks sceptical.  
‘About this weekend’ I answer, in a somewhat unsure voice and I cough a little to cover it up.  
‘About you going to the Everdeen’s?’ Gale asks and when I nod he continues. ‘Yeah, Katniss told me about that. About the project and all. Why would I be worried about that?’  
‘Exactly. You have no reason to be’ I agree. ‘What did you need help with?’ I quickly add to change the subject.  
‘I want to surprise Katniss with a date' Gale answers with a grin. 'Thought you might have some good ideas of what she’d like, since the two of you are friends too’

Unbelievable. I can’t believe I have to give advice how to date the girl I want to date. How the hell did I come in this situation? And he is her boyfriend. Shouldn’t he know Katniss better than I do? I’m just a mere friend to Katniss.

But I am a _good_ friend. A good person – at least I hope I am, so I help Gale out and tell him about the date I originally wanted to take Katniss on (of course, I don’t tell him that small fact).

‘Well she loves the outdoors, so maybe you can take her stargazing on the roof? With some food and wine? And you need to make the scenery romantic with flowers and candles and stuff’ I advise my friend with an aching heart.

‘That’s a great idea! She’ll love that! Thanks Peet!’ Gale enthusiastically says and when he’s about to leave my room, he adds ‘You know, you should really get a girlfriend, you’re all romantic and stuff’

I huff in reply, but when he’s gone, I get to thinking. _Why not?_ Maybe it will help me get over Katniss and I haven’t dated anyone since high school.

I open up a new text to Glimmer.

 **Peeta today 7:03pm:** _Want to go on a date tomorrow?_

It doesn’t take long before I get the reply that she’d absolutely " _loooooooveee_ " to.

 

* * *

 

 

The Everdeens are an amazing family.

They seem like the perfect family in my eyes. Welcoming, friendly, warm, caring. All things you couldn’t find in my home, before my mother packed her bags and left us.

My mom left when I was 12. First it had been hard, but her absence also meant the absence of fighting and screaming parents. Not that she was much of a parent, she neglected her children as much as possible. She’d rather go out with friends and have a good time than eat a meal with her children or pick them up from school.

She left her children and her husband for her new boyfriend, without even saying goodbye to me and my brothers and I haven’t spoken with her since. The divorce between my parents had been a quick one. My dad got the bakery and custody over their sons, my mom got some money. I think my dad was relieved she was gone. I know my brothers were.

In the beginning I was sad. I felt rejected – didn’t she love me enough? Weren’t we good enough for her? But then my brothers assured me she wasn’t good enough for us and I got used to a life with the four of us and it was a good life.  
My dad was everything my mother was not – caring, loving, funny and most important of all, present. Even when his business took off and he started more and more new bakeries, he was always there for me and my brothers. He went to every parent-teacher conference, every soccer game and made us dinner every night.  
We were – still are – very happy without my mother. I don’t miss her and I don’t need her, so I never felt the urge to look for her and to get some new relationship with her. She’s a part of my past, not my future, but that doesn’t mean she’s not the topic of conversation once in a while, when people ask me about her.

In the car ride over, Katniss asked me about my family. I told her that I never was close with my brothers, it’s probably because they’re 8 and 6 years older than I am. I’m the Benjamin of the family, the last hope in saving my parents’ marriage. When Katniss asks about my mom, I tell her we don’t keep in touch with one another and explain to her why I joined the fraternity. I wanted to be part of something I could fall back on my entire life and share bonds with people as strong as brothers do.

I wooed the Everdeens with my cooking and baking skills. Mrs. Everdeen and Katniss were really impressed with the birthday cake I made for Prim and the four of them really enjoyed my cooking. It’s during dinner Katniss brings up my mother again, this time accidently, when she tells her family about my love for art.

‘There’s one thing that Peeta didn’t learn from his dad and that’s his love for art, right Peeta?’ Katniss asks, sending me an encouraging smile.

‘No’ I say a little uncomfortable. ‘I got that from my mom’

The only good thing my mother left me, was the love for art we shared. Not that she ever took me to a museum or that we even drew together, but she did give me crayons, paper and other art supplies for my birthdays. She also liked to take pottery and painting classes herself.

Katniss gets all flustered. ‘Sorry, I-‘ she begins, but I cut her off.

‘It’s okay. There’s nothing I can do about it now’ I say and I give her a forgiving smile. I turn to her parents to elaborate. ‘After my parents got a divorce, my mom didn’t really keep in touch with me and my brothers’

‘I’m so sorry to hear that Peeta’ Mrs. Everdeen says.

‘It’s okay. It’s probably for the best’ I say in all honesty.

The rest of the dinner conversation is spend on much more joyful subjects and when we’re finished, Katniss and I take a hike in the forest behind her house. Spending some time with Katniss with just the two of us makes me feel so alive. All of senses are heightened and even the feeling of breathing is intensified. I still feel that pull towards her and the need to get to know her better. Conversation seems to flow naturally between us.

‘I’m sorry I brought your mother up during dinner’ Katniss begins.

‘Katniss it’s okay’ I assure her. I don’t want to think she did something wrong or that I’m upset with her ‘You didn’t know. And she’s my mother. She’ll always be a part of my life even if I don’t want her to be and occasionally she’ll be the subject in a conversation’

‘You don’t want your mother to be part of your life?’ she asks me a little surprised.

‘No, she’s not a good person’ Peeta says. A painful memory of my mom yelling relentlessly at me before she gave me a hard slap for taking a second cookie, rush back to me. ‘She wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to keep close contact. Or any form of contact’

‘You deserve better’ Katniss says.

 _She’s so sweet._ I try to give her a warm smile, but I know I fail. ‘When she left, I did get better’ I promise.  
‘Good’ she says.

A few minutes later we discuss the Everdeens’ cat and how I never had a pet. She asks me what kind of pet I would get now and when I answer that it would be a fish, she laughs. I blush when she calls me an artist because I don’t believe I deserve a title like that. The fact that she apparently does believe so makes me feel all warm inside.

When we get home, Katniss drags me to the porch where her family is sitting. ‘Come, you have to hear my dad sing’ she says as she takes me to the backyard. ‘My mom always says that when he sings, all the birds go quiet’ she says with a proud smile.

When her dad notices us, he smiles at Katniss and stops singing. ‘There she is. Join me Katniss’

‘You sing?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Sometimes..’ she admits blushingly.  
‘She’s amazing!’ Prim says with a big smile. ‘If I was her, I would’ve signed up for ‘The Voice’ a long time ago’  
‘I’m not that good’ she protests.  
‘You are!’ her mom says proudly.

Katniss can’t deny her family a song, so she leaves my side and sits down next to Mr. Everdeen. When she and her father sing, I find out how excellent she really is.

Her voice haunts me, it penetrates my soul and takes my breath away. It makes me forget everything I ever knew because nothing matters anymore. Nothing but her voice. _Wow.._

God, I’m a liar. A total liar. I’ve been doing nothing but lying to myself ever since Katniss and Gale kissed. Telling myself (and Thresh) how I was over her, that it was just a silly crush that was dead and buried. But it’s not true. I’m in love with her.

Hearing her sing makes me realise how screwed I am. _I’m a total goner for that girl…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter Peeta's senior year will come to an end. You'll finally learn what the fight between P&G was about amongst other things ;) Hope you're ready :) xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is: a chapter that has been highly anticipated! ;) Hope you enjoy, all mistakes are mine.

**Peeta's POV**

 

I spend another night at the Everdeen’s. Katniss’ family is great and I didn’t want to be rude and decline Mr. Everdeen’s offer to stay another night. I also wanted to steal a few more moments alone with Katniss, as the selfish guy I am. Bonus was that I got to see Prim’s sweet and excited reaction to the cake I baked her.

But when we get back to Panem U and I safely deliver Katniss to her boyfriend, I get hit by reality once again. My bubble bursts.  
I can steal a moment with Katniss for myself every now and then, but it doesn’t change the facts that she doesn’t feel the same about me and that she’s spoken for.

‘Babe you’re back!’ Gale greets Katniss smiling when we arrive at the house. They share a heated kiss and I look to my feet so I don’t have to watch Katniss kiss her boyfriend.

When they’re done, I joke that I missed Gale as well. ‘Aren’t you going to greet me with the same enthusiasm?’ I say, hiding my hurt and jealousy with a smile.

Gale and Katniss laugh. ‘Sorry bro, only this girl gets that kind of greeting’ Gale says and he puts his arm around Katniss’ shoulder and together they walk into the house, where Gale leads Katniss to the date I hoped I could’ve had with her..

_I have to stop this._ I have to get over her. I need to focus on other things and other girls, otherwise I’ll be miserable as fuck.  
Glimmer and I have been spending more time together lately. I’m ashamed to say that I’m using her as a distraction. I’m sure that one day she’ll make someone very happy, I just know it will never be me. She’s too selfish and materialistic for me, but for now, she’s a great escape from my unrequited feelings for Katniss.

I text Glimmer I’m home and that she should come over.

A half hour later Glimmer’s in my bed, distracting me from my torturous feelings.

 

* * *

 

 

A week later Glimmer is with me again. She’s sitting on my lap while she’s watching some fashion show on the TV in living room, while I check my Facebook.

A couple of minutes later, Gale walks into the room texting.

‘Hey’ I absently greet him. ‘What’s going on?’ I ask, desperately trying to make conversation with my friend to still my boredom.  
‘Nothing much, just texting Katniss’ Gale answers.  
_Of course._ ‘Okay’ I mumble.  
‘We’re going on a double date with Thresh and Johanna’ Gale shares.

A mixture of emotions go through me. Jealousy – obviously –, annoyance – for feeling jealous – but also a sense of betrayal. I know it’s ridiculous to feel betrayed by Thresh for going on a double date with Gale and Katniss, especially since I’ve told him numerous times I feel nothing for Katniss anymore, but I can’t help but feel he doesn’t have my back. Which is insane. He’s always had my back, but I can’t help what I feel. _You’re being an idiot and unreasonable_ , I scold myself.

Glimmer excitedly squeals in my lap. ‘A double date? That sounds like so much fun Gale!’ ‘  
Yeah..’ he awkwardly agrees. He’s not a huge fan of Glimmer.  
We both fear what her next words are going to be, so we both try to change the subject, but Glimmer’s excitement doesn’t waver.  
‘Oh my God! Best idea ever’ Glimmer says and she begins to move up and down in my lap. _Ouch!_ I bite my lip when she lands a little too hard on my genitals. ‘Let’s make it a triple date! Peeta and I can then come too!’

I choke in the beer I was drinking and cough a little to dramatic for my liking. _Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Please for the love of God and for everything that’s sacred, say no._  
‘Uuuh…’ Gale awkwardly utters. ‘Peeta?’ he asks for confirmation.  
‘Uuuh… Well-‘ I begin.  
‘Let’s Peeta, it will be so much fun!’ Glimmer says with a bright smile.

If I said that I didn’t want to go, I have to explain why and even if I can give a good excuse, I have to suffer through Glimmer’s bitching and wining. It’s a toss between something dreadful or something horrible.

I sigh. ‘Sure’ I relent.

Gale nods and texts Katniss back.

_Fuck. My. Life._

 

* * *

 

 

‘Looking forward to the triple date?’ Thresh asks me the day before the date when we’re shooting some hoops at the side of the house.

I’m silent a second too lone, because that’s all Thresh needs to know how I really feel. ‘You’re not’ he states.

I can feel Thresh’ gaze burn on me, but I don’t look him in his eyes when I answer. ‘I’m not’ I agree, seeing no reason in lying to my best friend. I throw the ball through the hoop and when it lands back on the ground, I catch it and throw it back to my friend. ‘Your turn’

Thresh catches the ball, but holds it in his hands. ‘Because of Katniss’ he determines.

‘Yes’

‘Well that’s going to be a problem’ he says dryly.

‘Probably’ I agree. ‘But only if we make it one’  
‘Dude, you already made it one.. You’re in love with your best friend’s girl and you’re going on a date with them. Why in the hell would you agree to go on this date in the first place?’ he asks and Thresh looks at me like I’m crazy. _I probably am._  
‘Because if I would’ve said I didn’t want to, I had to explain to Glimmer and _Gale_ why not’ I answer annoyed. _Wasn’t it obvious?_

‘I’m sure you could have thought of a good excuse’ Thresh says and he finally throws the ball.  
‘The only thing worse than going on a date with Katniss and Gale is to suffer through weeks of Glimmer’s whining’ I say and I grab the ball of the floor.  
‘If you say so’ Thresh says unconvinced.

He’s right. It’s not. Seeing the girl you’re in love with as your best friend’s girlfriend while you’re on a date with them is infinitely worse. _Why did I say yes? Why am I doing this to myself?_

‘So you’re dating Glimmer for the distraction?’  
‘Yes..’ I mumble, ashamed of myself. ‘I thought maybe it would help me get over _her_..’  
‘Well Peet that’s just plain stupid’ Thresh says and he laughs. ‘God…’ he sighs and he shakes his head. ‘I never thought of you as a dumbass, but I guess that’s what love does, doesn’t it?’ he laughs and looks amused. ‘Some people get more romantic, some people get nicer and others get a jealous streak. But you just get dumber’ he laughs again.

‘Shut up!’ I say, but smiling as well. I throw the ball hard at his stomach.

‘Ouch!’ he says and he chuckles, but then he turns serious. ‘Okay let’s stop kidding around. You need to tell Katniss how you feel so you can move on with your life’  
‘Come on, I can’t do that’ I say. ‘I’d ruin both the friendships I have with Gale and with Katniss’  
‘Probably, but senior year is coming to its end in a few short months and you probably won’t see them both much after that.. But you could see Katniss a lot, if you told her and she felt the same’

I think about what he said for a second. If I tell Katniss I’m in love with her, it could go two ways. The first one is that she loves me too and we start to date. The second one is that she doesn’t love me and I lose her as my friend. In both scenarios I lose Gale. Gale, one of my closest friends and the guy she’s dating. ‘But she doesn’t Thresh. She’s in love with Gale’ I say pained.

‘Maybe she’s dating him for a distraction as well?’ Thresh tries.  
I shake my head. ‘No. You should see the way she looks at him. She loves him’  
‘Peeta..’ Thresh says in a sad tone and in his eyes I can see his sympathy for my situation. ‘If you tell her you can stop living a lie. Best case scenario you get the girl. Worst case scenario you lose them both, but at least you can stop tormenting yourself’

I’m saved by the rain that comes pouring down from the sky and ends our time outside shooting hoops and our conversation.  
‘I’ll think about it’ I say and we walk back inside.

 

* * *

 

 

The date had been horrible. So horrible, I had to get drunk to get through the whole evening.

Katniss had looked incredibly hot. I couldn’t even look at her. It was like looking into a flame, beautiful and radiating, but so bright it hurt your eyes.  
She’d worn a dress in my favourite colour and for a second there I thought she had done it for me. That she was sending me a sign. I had to kick myself inwardly. She didn’t know that shade of orange was my favourite colour, it was an accident. And the way Gale and Katniss had kissed one another upon greeting and how they were planning on being in a couples costume tonight told me all I needed to know. She wanted to be with him.

Not only did I lose all of the hope I stupidly allowed myself to have, I also had to endure Glimmer’s cringeworthy and thoughtless comments and that was even before Gale mentioned the Halloween bash the frat is throwing. _Thanks Gale.._  
To top it all off, Glimmer ate my entire crème brûlée..!

Glimmer and I are still together though. The way she can make me forget reality is addicting, so I had no choice but to invite her as my date to the Halloween party tonight. Thank God I could persuade her to go as a slutty nurse, so I at least can go as a doctor. I did use some fake blood to make it more Halloween-appropriate.

An hour into the party (and successfully avoiding Glimmer for half of it), I run into Katniss. She’s dressed as an angel with wings and a halo. She looks like a dream and I just want to hold her and never let her go. Before I can bite my tongue, I ask her if she wants to dance and to my surprise she agrees.

I hold her as close I can. Katniss feels so good pressed against me, she’s so warm and soft and she smells amazing. She smells like the forest. It’s like the woods love her so much, they don’t want to leave her either. It’s mixed with a faint hint of coconut, probably from the shampoo she uses, but the rest of her scent is _her_. It’s Katniss.

While I’m taking the feeling of Katniss against me and her scent in, I hear Katniss mumble something.  
‘You don’t like Rihanna?’ I ask her.  
‘Not anymore’ she answers, still with her arms around my neck and her cheek pressed again mine. I don’t know if she stays this close to me so she can hear me better or if she likes being as close to me as I like being close to her.

We’re both silent for a moment before she breaks the silence again. ‘Nice costume by the way’ she mumbles.  
I chuckle. ‘Yes.. Thank God I could persuade Glimmer to go as a nurse.. I didn’t really want to go as Mickey Mouse or Ken..’  
‘I feel your pain’ she jokes. ‘Gale wanted to go as Tarzan and Jane..’

I laugh. God, doesn’t Gale know Katniss at all? She’d never wear something like that, she’s not someone who would wear a costume where you barely have to wear something. But she would look incredibly hot. So hot, I almost get hard just thinking about Katniss dressed as a jungle Jane. ‘Yes, I can totally see you as a jungle girl. Very classy’ I say.

I hear Katniss chuckle and we continue swaying on the music in silence. At the end of our second song, Katniss breaks our intimate pose and says she’s going to look for her boyfriend.

The rest of my night is spend trying to forget by drinking a lot of alcohol and when the party’s over, by forgetting with Glimmer.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning I wake up before Glimmer, who’s sleeping next to me in my bed. She looks so peaceful, so sweet, when she’s asleep. I almost believe it when I tell myself that being with Glimmer is more than about trying to forget Katniss. That I can actually be happy with the girl who is now waking up in my bed.

‘Good morning’ she says smiling.  
‘Morning’ I say and I look up to my ceiling.  
‘What?’ she asks. ‘Isn’t this a good morning?’  
_Not particularly._  
‘Maybe I can change that’ she says in a playful tone and when she pulls down my boxer shorts she gives me a wink.

Glimmer kisses my shaft and she is rewarded with a slight tremble. She teases my balls and licks my head and I can feel myself becoming hard. I may be a heartbroken ass, but I’m still a guy. Glimmer tries to take me all in and softly wraps her hands around the part of my cock that’s not inside of her mouth.

I watch Glimmer as she gives me a blowjob, but I can feel I’m not close to my much needed orgasm.

So, in my desperation to give my body a release, I close my eyes and picture Katniss.

_The way she looked on that date. In that beautiful orange dress, showing off her toned legs I wish she would wrap around my hips and with that cleavage that I constantly had to remind myself not to gawk at._ I hear myself moan when I think about her boobs.  
_The way it felt when her body was pressed against mine last night and how good it would feel if she was pressed against me like that in bed. Or how it would feel like if Katniss would take my cock in her mouth and lick and suck me like Glimmer is doing right now._

And that’s how I get over the edge. By pretending Katniss is sucking me into an orgasm with her lips, tongue and hands, while she sits on my bed naked.  
‘Yes! YES!! I’m coming!!’ I say panting hard. _O my God_ , I can feel an incredible intense orgasm coming rapidly. ‘KATNISS!!!’ I yell out loud, when the wave of my orgasm finally washes over me.

Satisfaction fills me when I recover from my orgasm that has left me feeling like I’m boneless. Then I’m sucked back in the here and now and mortification sets over me. My eyes pop open. _Did I just say that out loud?!_

‘What did you just say?!’ Glimmer yells.  
_Fuck. I did._  
‘Uuuuh…’ I utter awkwardly.  
‘YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!’ Glimmer screams. She’s so mad I wouldn’t be surprises if I would turn to ash under her fuming stare. She scowls at me and even bares her teeth.

Glimmer jumps off me, but not before she gives me a hard slap in my face.

Then everything happens really fast. Glimmer grabs her stuff and bolts out of the house, while throwing every insult known to men at my face. I run after her, so I can ease my guilt by apologising, but also so I can make sure she won’t yell at someone what just transpired in my bedroom.

I follow her outside to make sure she leaves, but then she turns around to slap me again.  
‘You’re a piece of trash!’ Glimmer yells.  
‘I know, I’m so sorry Glimmer’ I say overwhelmed by my guilt. I can’t believe I have turned into such an asshole that uses women to get over a girl. I deserve every slap and insult Glimmer throws at me..  
‘Save it, asshole! You’ll regret this! I’ll make sure you’ll regret this!’ she yells and then she continues in an even louder tone. ‘You were just using me so you could get over that bitch!! Or were trying to make her jealous?!’

I hear the front door open and close behind us and my head snaps up to the person that has decided to join as outside. Fuck. It’s Gale.

‘You are pathetic!’ Glimmer keeps ranting, but now I’m more concerned with what she’ll say to Gale..  
‘Yes, I know. I’m an asshole..’  
‘Well look who decided to join us..’ Glimmer says with an evil smirk when she notices Gale coming towards us.  
_Fuck_. ‘Please, don’t..’ I beg and I can feel my cheeks heat up. I try to drag her away from Gale and the house but she pulls out of my grip.  
Glimmer laughs humourlessly. ‘You really think I’m going to _you_ a favour?’

Unfortunately for me, Gale decides to interfere. ‘What’s going on here?’ he says scowling at Glimmer. ‘Maybe it’s better you leave’  
‘Yes, I was just-‘ I say, but Glimmer is having none of it and she starts to torment me by laughing again.  
‘I don’t think you want me to leave just yet Gale’ she says with a smirk. ‘In fact, I _know_ that you would love to know why I’m so mad at Peeta’ she looks back at me and smiles wickedly at me.  
‘Probably not’ Gale says annoyed.

‘Glimmer-‘ I say, now slightly mad. I desperately try to haul her away again, but she won’t budge. This is her chance at revenge and she’s taking it with both her hands.  
‘Peeta just yelled the name of _your_ girlfriend when he reached his _orgasm_!’ she yells at Gale. ‘He’s in love with Katniss!’

I stop in my tracks. _No… Fuck.._

I quickly turn to face Gale.

‘What?!’ Gale yells and he looks at me like he wants to kill me. ‘You’re in love with Katniss?! You _fantasize_ about her?!’

The next thing I know Gale hits me hard in my face, I lose my balance and I fall to the ground.

‘You son of a bitch!’ I hear Gale yell from above me.

‘Gale!’ I hear someone yell and before I even see her, I know it’s Katniss. ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ she yells.

‘You call yourself a friend? A brother?’ Gale yells at me and I quickly get up from the ground. I can feel my black eye already start to form.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Katniss demands and she looks at Gale and then at me, waiting for an answer I’m sure as hell aren’t going to give her. All I do is hope that Glimmer and Gale will stay silent and avoid Katniss' demanding gaze.

Before any of us can say something else, Gale grabs Katniss’ arm and drags her back to the house.  
‘Let’s go’ I hear Gale saying to his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you finally know what the fight was about! :D What did you think? :)
> 
> In the next chapter I'll wrap up Peeta's story and we'll flash forward two years. I've almost finished it, so you'll be able to read it very, very soon ;) xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, very soon! ;) Hope you enjoy!

**Peeta's POV**

 

It’s probably needless to say that everything went straight to hell after that. Gale hated my guts and threatened that if I would try anything with Katniss he would throw me out of the frat and beat me into the hospital.

This is where Thresh stood up for me, saying that if Gale would lay a hand on me, Thresh would break it, also starting a fight between them. Soon Gale’s anger caused a rift between all of the guys in the house. I tried everything I could to mend things between everyone. I apologised to Gale, lied to him saying that I didn’t have feelings for his girlfriend, tried to distract everyone by throwing awesome parties, but avoiding Gale and Katniss proved to be a tactic that kept the peace in our house.

The atmosphere in the house grew from relaxed and happy to uncomfortable, cold and hateful. I heard Gale had tried to kick me out of the frat anyway, but he hadn’t succeed because I still had a few friends in this house and I was VP. I absolutely started hating living in the house and went home to my dad more often, but it wasn’t like I could go anywhere else and I still wanted to be part of this brotherhood..

I assumed Gale told Katniss about the feelings I had for her and also that I picture her when I come, so as the chicken I was, I started avoiding her at all costs. I was so ashamed, I couldn’t even look Katniss directly in her eyes, but there’s no place else I can look now, now I’ve run into her in the house a day before the Christmas break.

I close the front door behind me and come face-to-face with the girl that has – unintentionally – brought me so much misery. I’m so surprised to see Katniss, that I’ve forgotten how to speak. ‘Hey.. Katniss..’ I eventually mumble and I try to give her a polite smile.

‘Yes, that is my name’ Katniss says quasi surprised and I can see her anger and hurt reflected in her eyes. ‘I expected you forgot it after a month of ignoring me’

She sends me a scowl so hateful, I flinch. ‘I’m sorry..’ I mumble to Katniss’ shoes. ‘It’s just, Gale’s your boy-‘   
‘Yes, what the hell happened between the two of you?’ she interrupts me angrily.   
I look up to her in surprise. ‘He didn’t tell you?’  
Katniss shakes her head, now looking even more upset.

This is something I hadn’t expected. Why hadn’t Gale told her? What reason does he have to keep her in the dark? ‘Then I’m not telling you either’ I say. If Gale didn’t tell her, I sure as hell wasn’t going to.   
‘Peeta!’ she yells. ‘Why won’t neither one of you tell me what your fight is about?’

I change the subject by asking her about her family and if she can send them my holiday wishes. She knows I won’t tell her what Gale and my fight is about, so she relents and walks towards the door.   
Then we both notice the mistletoe hanging above the door.

‘Mistletoe?’ Katniss asks surprised.   
‘Yes, I think Cato put it up there’ I answer. ‘One of his schemes to kiss a lot of chicks’   
‘Really?’ she asks quietly.   
I only nod, not trusting my voice to speak. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Katniss turn to me, so I turn to her as well.

We look nervously at one another for a moment and I can feel my heart beat rapidly in my chest. This shouldn’t be happening – Katniss and I standing under a mistletoe. It’s unfair and cruel. All I wanted since I met this girl is to kiss her, but she isn’t mine to kiss and now an old tradition gives me the perfect excuse to kiss her. But I don’t want to hurt Gale like that and what if I can’t stop?

‘Does it work?’ she asks a little raspy.   
‘I don’t know..’ I whisper. My eyes travel to her lips, but quickly land back on her eyes. I clear my throat awkwardly to keep my composure. The air around us is so loaded.   
‘So..’ she starts, obviously uncomfortable too and also without a clue as what to do now.   
‘So..’ I say.

What if this is the only chance I’ll ever get to kiss her? The friendship I have with Gale will never be the same again, so not taking this chance for myself would be stupid. And what if I kiss her and I find out that I imagined all of my feelings? That there is absolutely no spark between us? That kissing Katniss would feel like kissing a sister?

I lean forward and gently press my lips on hers.

I make sure we don’t go further than a small kiss, but even that kiss has the power to destroy me. Wow.. I’ve never felt the fireworks before that arise within me now. This kiss felt even better than everything I ever dreamed of doing with and to Katniss. This small gesture, just our lips faintly touching, makes me feel lightheaded. Her touch, her scent, the fireworks – it’s all too much. I quickly end our kiss.

This was a mistake. Now I’m never getting over her. ‘Don’t tell Gale’ I whisper against her slightly swollen lips and then I leave her without a second glance.

 

* * *

 

 

I try to distance myself again from Katniss and try to concentrate on school, the bakery I still work at with my dad on breaks and finding Christmas presents, but then Katniss texts me saying her mom has passed away and when the funeral is.

I have to go. I _want_ to go. I need to pay my respects to Mrs. Everdeen, who has showed me nothing but kindness and I want to condole her family, who I’m also very fond of.

It’ll be the first time I’ll see Katniss after our kiss, but it will be the last thing I’ll bring up. I’m going as Katniss’ friend and as an acquaintance of the Everdeen family, not as some guy who she kissed under the mistletoe and who wants to kiss her again.

She looks relieved when she sees me.

‘You’re here..’ she says and she tries to give me a smile.   
‘Nothing could stop me Katniss’ I say and we wrap our arms around one another.

I don’t want to let her go, but I know I have to. ‘I have something for you’ I say and I give her the cheesebuns I brought from the bakery.   
‘A dandelion?’ she asks, noticing the flower I drew on the box.

I know it was stupid to put it on the box, but I wanted to give her hope. I needed her to know that after times of darkness, lightness will appear. If anyone could know, it was me. ‘It’s the symbol of rebirth, of hope and warmth. After a long and cold winter, the dandelion promises us spring. The season of new life. That after everything bad that has happened, good comes along again’ I explain to her with red cheeks. I nervously scratch the back of my neck. ‘I’m sorry, it’s stupid’

Katniss shakes her head. ‘No, I love it’ she says and a tear rolls over her cheek. ‘Thank you’ she says.

We talk a little more and after a quick hug I move over to her dad so I can condole him with his loss.

 

#

 

After the service I go find Thresh and Johanna.

Johanna is taking it hard – obviously – and she’s crying while Thresh holds her in his arms and tries to sooth his girlfriend.

I envy them. Not in the way in how much pain Johanna is now, but that when one of them falls apart, the other one will pick up the pieces and will be there to carry the broken half of their union. I envy the love they have for each other. I envy their certainty.

They found the thing that everyone spends a lifetime looking for. True love.

Standing just a few feet away from them makes me realise how much I crave it. The unselfish and unconditional love that would last a lifetime, would bring you happiness and a love you could always fall back on.

I think I crave it so badly because I never had it. The person who was supposed to love me the most, my mother, turned her back on me without a second thought. My dad loved me and he made me feel loved, but that doesn’t change the fact that my parents’ marriage was horrible and that she didn’t care for her children.   
My mom leaving us could have turned me in someone who doesn’t believe in marriage or love or someone who doesn’t want children, but I saw how much happiness real love can bring people. Like in Thresh’s family. His parents have a good marriage and they love their children with everything they are, and seeing that just made me crave that kind of happiness for myself even more. 

My thoughts are disrupted when someone comes up to me. ‘What the hell are you doing here?!’ he spats angrily.   
I turn around to face him. ‘What do you think Gale?’ I say in the same tone. ‘Pay my respects to the Everdeen family’   
‘I bet you were!’ Gale says fuming and he points his finger at me. ‘You just saw another opportunity to smooth talk _my_ girlfriend and you took it! You piece of-‘   
‘-Jesus Gale!’ I interrupt him and I scowl at him. ‘This is a funeral! Mrs. Everdeen’s funeral! The woman who has been nothing but kind to me, just like the rest of her family and I owed them my respects. And Katniss – _who invited me herself_ – is still a friend of mine, even if you are so _insecure_ about your relationship that you can’t even handle it when I sit down next to her in class!’ I’m fuming. I can’t believe he thinks so little of me that he believes I would try to hit on someone else’s girl on her mother’s funeral.   
Gale balls up his fist like he wants to give me a black eye again. ‘Fuck y-‘

‘-Stop it!’ Thresh says and he quickly stands between Gale and me. Thresh grabs both Gale and my shoulder and pushes us away from the other. ‘You two are making a scene! Katniss and her family don’t deserve that and Mrs. Everdeen sure _as hell_ doesn’t!’   
Gale and I are still giving each other death glares, but we both silently agree with Thresh because we stop the verbal abuse.

Gale pulls his shoulder from Thresh’ grasp and bolts away.

 

* * *

 

 

Three weeks after the funeral I get greeted by an almost drunk and very pissed Gale. Thresh and I just returned from class and Cato and Gloss are standing next to Gale. Not siding though, they both look uncomfortable and a little afraid of what Gale might do now his eyes have landed on me.

‘There he is! The backstabbing brother!’ he slurs and he points at me. ‘You must be so happy right now!’

‘Why would I be happy?’ I bite back. I’m far from happy. The guy that used to be my best friend has been nothing but horrible to me for months, the brotherhood I’m VP of is falling apart and the girl I’m in love with has lost her mother.

Gale laughs a humourless laugh. ‘Like you don’t know Katniss and I broke uppp. I bet you were waiting patiently until you can took her for a ride, weren’t youuu?’

That comment makes me furious. _Take Katniss for a ride._ How can he be so disrespectful?

‘Well that’ssss not going toooo happen buddy’ Gale continues. ‘She’ssss ssstill mine. We only broke uppp because she needs time to grieve with her family. But hey, at least you don’t have to feel guilty anymore when you fantasize about Katniss during sexxx now!’

That’s it, I’ve had enough. I’ve been nothing but a good friend to Gale, even when he stole the girl I was in love with. I helped him with their first date, I never tried anything with Katniss and when Gale found out that I had imagined Katniss giving me a blowjob, I stayed away from Katniss just like he wanted. 

I storm towards him and slam my fist in his jaw. The impact is so hard that Gale falls to the ground.

_God that feels good._ So good that I fall on my knees and hit him again. I’m blinded by the rage I have felt ever since Gale started treating me like I’m a pest that needs to be killed and the jealousy I have felt ever since he and Katniss kissed.   
‘Peeta, stop!’ I hear Thresh yell. It takes Thresh and Gloss to drag me off Gale. Gale jumps up immediately and tries to get to me, but Cato jumps in front of him.

Everyone starts yelling at one another. Gale yells that he’s going to kill me and I yell back that he can do me a favour and try, so I can beat the shit out of him. Thresh yells we need to calm down. Cato yells that we’re brothers and we shouldn’t let a girl come between us.

‘Bros before hoes, dudes’ Gloss agrees.   
‘Too late!’ Gale yells maniacally and he bares his teeth and his nostrils flare out of anger.   
‘I’m so done with you and your petty insecurities!’ I yell. ‘You can go to hell for all I care!’ I say before I storm out of the house.

 

#

 

My walk to calm me down has lead me to the library where I run into Lavinia.

Lavinia, the girl I mistreated almost as badly as Glimmer, but who still greets me politely. After a few minutes of small talk I apologise again for being such an ass to her. We talk some more and get some coffee at a “Pâtisserie Triomphe” together. I find myself actually laughing and enjoying her company. I forget the time and all of the stuff that just happened at the house.

Katniss and I were never supposed to happen. She chose Gale – even though she didn’t knew I also was a choice – and now her mom has died and she needs to focus on more important things than her romantic aspects. Laughing with Lavinia makes me realise this and makes me accept that. I need to move forward and let the idea of Katniss go completely.

So I ask Lavinia out on a date and to my surprise she says yes.

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of months later I’m finally there: graduation!

My dad, both of my brothers, Ben and Ryder, and my grandparents on my dad’s side are all here. My dad gives me a standing ovation when it’s my turn to walk the stage and accept my diploma. I wave at my family and my grandma comically fist bumps the sky. It’s a nice ceremony and fortunately it’s not too long, but I’m relieved when it’s over.

I’m relieved this whole year is over and I can leave campus now.

‘Where is everyone?’ I ask my father when I meet up with him when the ceremony is over.   
‘We figured you wanted to say goodbye to a couple of friends before we left, so your brothers and grandparents went inside to get some coffee’   
_Great.._ ‘That’s very kind of all of you, but I’d like to leave now’ I say a little impatiently.   
‘Is this about Gale?’ my dad asks immediately. ‘You too were such good friends. It’s a waste to throw away a friendship like that. Why don’t you try to make amends? Or even just try to part in a friendly matter?’

_God_ , I knew I shouldn’t have told my dad about the fight with Gale about Katniss, but the second he saw me, my dad knew something was up. It was the weekend after Gale found out, so my black eye probably gave me away. I didn’t tell my father the details, of course, only that I had fallen for a girl that was now dating Gale.

But my dad is right. Gale and I have been close friends ever since we met at Panem U and even though I know we will never be the friends we once were, I do want to say goodbye to him. Part in a friendly way, so we can be friendly acquaintances in the future.

‘Or is this about Katniss?’ my dad continues. My situation has apparently bothered him for some time now, because he obviously has a few things he wants me to hear. ‘I know you son and I know you still like this girl a lot. Don’t be a fool and let the fear of rejection stand in your way of getting the girl. She’s single now and so are you’

That is true. She’s not dating anyone and Lavinia and I broke up two weeks ago because of graduation. Lavinia and I are both moving to the other side of the country and I guess we both knew we weren’t in love with each other. Being with Lavinia didn’t give me the same feeling of being alive like when I’m with Katniss. Kissing Lavinia didn’t feel like there were fireworks being lit inside me, like when I kissed Katniss so many months ago.

‘Just tell her how you feel son’ my dad continues. ‘You have nothing to lose anymore. This might be the last time you’ll ever see her – this is your last chance!’ My dad looks me in my eyes and he gives me a sad smile. ‘Please, allow yourself that kind of happiness, son..’

I nod. I have nothing to lose, only a lot to gain. ‘I’m going to look for her’ I say resolute.   
My dad gives me a bright smile. ‘That’s my boy!’ he says proudly and he pats my shoulder.

It only takes me a few minutes to find Katniss. She’s with her dad and her sister. She looks great, not only because she’s rocking her graduation gown or because the wind is playing with her loose hair, but because of the breath taking smile that graces her face. She hugs her sister tightly and then quickly wipes a tear from her own cheek. Her father puts his arm around her shoulder and kisses her cheek and then says something to both of his girls. Prim nods excitedly and Katniss laughs.

I don’t want to break this little happy spell the Everdeens seem to be under now, but Katniss’ pull on me is still as strong as ever. She still has the same effect on me. I want to be near her and I need to tell her how I feel. My feet start working again and I’m on my way to Katniss again, but someone apparently has the same idea and beats me to it.

Gale.

He greets Prim and Mr. Everdeen, says something to Katniss and then they walk to a nearby tree for some privacy together.

There’s nothing I can do but watch while Gale talks to Katniss for a long moment. I can see her nod when he’s finished and she wipes a tear from her cheek. Then Katniss leans in and kisses Gale. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her back.

It’s over. I missed my chance.

 

* * *

 

 

**(2 years later)**

 

A lot has happened in the last two years. Career wise at least. I had started out as an intern at one of my dad’s offices with my good friend and cousin Delly Cartwright.

We told each other that it didn’t matter that we were related to the founder of the “Pâtisserie Triomphe” chain, we were still going to work really hard and earn those regional managing positions we both wanted fair and square. We would prove everyone wrong who thought we only got hired because of our connections and blow everyone away with our attitudes, skills and extra hours.

And it worked. Two years later and I had just gotten the position of District Manager. Delly had too, but of course in a different district. In a couple of years my dream of becoming a Regional Manager could become reality. I guess it helped if you have no social life..

My life literally only existed out of work and family holidays or celebrations. Of course I had been on dates the last two years and I had drinks with co-workers once in a while, but my life still felt empty. I had no one I could go home to at the end of the day or someone nearby I could really talk with (except for Delly of course).

I sometimes felt like a leaf that got carried by the wind, I was just floating through life. Nothing grounded me or made me stop.

I was absolutely ecstatic when I learned that my new job was located in Seattle Washington, the same town Thresh and Johanna live in. Thresh was still my best friend, and Johanna was now a close friend of mine as well, so I was very happy that I now work and live in the same town as my best friend again.

I just moved to town two days ago and decided to keep it a secret to surprise them with the news and with an engagement present.

So now I’m sitting in my car and driving to Thresh and Johanna’s house with a wedding cake catalogue in the seat next to me (my gift to them is going to be a wedding cake from our bakery), hoping that they are actually at home and not somewhere else... _That would really suck.._

When I reach their house, I notice their car and that the lights inside are on, telling me that they are at home. I get out of the car with the catalogue and a big smile on my face and walk towards the front door.

I clean my shoes on the doormat and press the doorbell.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you leave a comment and tell me what you think! :)
> 
> This was the end of Peeta's POV. The next chapter will be from Katniss' POV again from the moment she hears the doorbell ring! It will be the first time Everlark will see one another after two years, so that should be good! ;)
> 
> I'll be taking a break indefinitely from all my stories now. I do hope I'll have a chapter of 'The Royals' for you guys and girls next Monday, but I make no promises. I do promise to continue with all my stories as soon as possible. 
> 
> Thank you guys and girls so much for all of your love :-* You keep me going! <3 xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story continues! :D
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes.

‘What was the fight about?’ 

Thresh looks at me with surprise evident in his eyes. ‘You don’t know?’

I shake my head impatiently. _Tell me, dammit._

Thresh looks at Johanna again. 

This time it’s Johanna that answers my question. ‘You happened’ 

And before either one of them can elaborate or I can even ask another question, the doorbell rings and interrupts us.

Thresh excuses himself to open the door, which gives me the perfect opportunity to drill Johanna about Peeta and Gale’s fight and for Johanna to spill the beans. ‘What do you mean with _I happened_?’ I ask her impatiently. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat and my heart speeds up in anticipation of finally finding out. 

Johanna gives me a wicked smile, clearly enjoying my impatience and eagerness. She even chuckles a little and I send her a scowl. 

‘Peeta!’ we hear Thresh cry excitedly and my scowl turns into a painting of utter surprise.

Johanna looks amused and I raise one of my eyebrows at her. She shakes her head in response. ‘We both didn’t know he was coming’ 

_I can’t believe it._ He’s coming. _Peeta_ is walking into this room in a few seconds and it will be the first time I’ll see him in over two years. I hadn’t expected to see Peeta so soon again.. I can feel my heart pounding rapidly in my chest. I’m nervous about seeing him again. I wonder if he still looks the same. How it will be to smell his distinct scent again.. _Will he even be happy to see me?_

Luckily I don’t have to stay in this agonizing interlude much longer, because there he is, walking into the room, following Thresh. He looks as handsome as I remember him to be, possibly even more so, in his dark jeans and blue sweater. 

He walks into the room smiling brightly, but when he notices a second person at the dinner table, his eyes land on me and his happy features morph into surprise. Peeta stops dead in his tracks and just gapes at me. He looks so stunned, I have to bite back a laugh.  

‘Hey Peeta’ I say smiling when I get up.

‘Katniss..’ he breathes. 

I don’t know what comes over me, but I close the short distance between us and give him a hug. 

The moment he wraps his strong arms around me, the same sense of safety and hope fill me when we hugged last – on my mother’s funeral. He still smells the same too, something both comforting and relieving. 

I reluctantly let go and we just look at one another for a moment. All I did was greet him and get reacquainted with his scent and the blueness of his eyes, but it made me realise how much I missed him. And I think he missed me as well, if the fond look in his eyes and the sweet smile he gives me are an indication. 

‘Hey..’ he whispers and I widen my smile.

‘I’ll grab you some dessert’ Thresh says smirking and he goes to the kitchen.

When Peeta and I sit down – next to each other – Johanna asks what Peeta is doing in Seattle. Thresh walks back in and gives Peeta some ice cream, a glass of wine and cutlery while Peeta tells us that he has moved to Seattle a couple of days ago because he got a job promotion. 

‘Are you serious?’ Thresh asks excitedly. ‘So, once again, we live in the same town. Just like the good old days!’ Thresh is so happy, he makes Peeta give him a high five. 

Johanna rolls her eyes in a loving matter and I chuckle.

Then Peeta turns to me with his big, blue eyes. ‘And you? What are you doing in Seattle?’

I give him a smile. ‘I’m here for a job interview. At Johanna’s office, actually’ I answer, quickly glancing at her.

Peeta looks confused. ‘You don’t work in Denver anymore?’

I shake my head. ‘And I don’t live there anymore either’ I take a sip from my wine. I don’t know how much Peeta knows about my pathetic last few months or how much I want to tell him, but it’s _Peeta_. I still feel pulled towards him, like I always did. Something I never felt with Gale, even though I wished numerous times I did. 

‘I lost my job and when Gale and I broke up, I decided to move back home’ I tell Peeta.

Peeta gets a sympathetic look in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry..’ he offers.

I shake my head. ‘Don’t be. I really needed a fresh start’ 

Peeta gives me a smile and when I return it, his widens and once again, I get lost in his eyes.

‘How long are you in Seattle?’ Peeta asks me and I can decipher a glint of hopefulness in his eyes.

‘I go back home the day after tomorrow’ I say. Disappointment settles over Peeta’s face with my answer and I can feel it fill my body as well. If I had known Peeta would be living in Seattle and we would run into each other, I would definitely have stayed longer. I missed him so much in the last two years and I don’t want to wait two more before I run into him again. ‘But maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night?’

‘ _Oh_!’ he nervously scratches the back of his neck. 

_Crap he doesn’t want to.._

I asked him out in front of our friends and now he is going to give me an excuse to hide the obvious. I don’t know what I feel more strongly, disappointment or mortification. 

Peeta continues. ‘I’d love to, but tomorrow is the ten year anniversary of Pâtisserie Triomphe and there is this big celebration party I have to go to’ it’s an excuse I was afraid I was going to get, but then he adds something that makes all the disappointment and mortification turn into relief and happiness. ‘but why don’t you come? If you want to? As my _date_?’ 

The mixture of hope and nervousness in both his eyes and in the tentative smile he gives me, is so adorable that I could never reject someone who would look at me like that. And I could never reject the person who is giving me that look this very moment. I secretly wanted Peeta to say this to me for almost three years. 

I give him an excited smile. ‘I’d love to’ I say in a soft tone and Peeta lets out a relieved sigh and mirrors my smile, before he realises we have an audience and he turns back to them.

‘I wanted to ask you two as well. To come to the party?’ Peeta asks. 

Thresh smiles at Peeta like he knows a secret and Johanna smirks at us. I can feel my cheeks warm up. I can’t believe these two just saw me and Peeta plan our first date from up-close. 

‘As your date?’ Thresh jokes.

Peeta and I both chuckle and Peeta’s cheeks get a nice rosy colour. ‘Funny. But seriously, if you guys want to come, you’re welcome’

‘To a boring company party? Where we have to suffer through dull speeches for some free booze? No thank you’ Johanna says unimpressed and I chuckle over her bluntness.

‘We have other plans’ Thresh quickly says. 

Johanna nods. ‘Yes, we have a wedding to plan, which reminds me – Katniss’ her eyes find mine ‘do you want to be one of my bridesmaids?’ she asks smiling.

My eyes widen in surprise. ‘Of course!’ I say and I laugh. ‘I would gladly suffer through the horrible tasks of a bridesmaid to see you dressed in something other than black’ I joke.

‘Who says my wedding dress isn’t black?’ she says with a smirk. 

‘I wouldn’t care if it was’ Thresh says and he kisses his fiancé’s cheek in a loving matter. ‘More ice cream, guys?’ he asks us.

We’re all enjoying our second bowl when Peeta tells Johanna and Thresh that his engagement present for them is a wedding cake. ‘I’m going to make it myself and it will be the best damn wedding cake anyone has ever tasted’ he promises.

‘Peeta that’s too much..’ Thresh says surprised.

‘Yeah really Peeta-‘ Johanna begins.

‘It’s definitely not too much for a lifelong friend and you both mean the world to me. Besides, you need a wedding cake on your wedding and I’d be very insulted if you would go to a different bakery’ Peeta says and he gives them a challenging smile.

Thresh laughs and Johanna rolls her eyes at him. ‘Of course we were going to you for the cake’ 

‘Great, then that will be my present’ Peeta says smiling.

‘Can it be black?’ Johanna jokes.

‘No!’ Thresh says laughingly. ‘Your wedding dress can be black, but our cake is going to be in a different colour’ 

Johanna just laughs and gives her fiancé a kiss. ‘Fine..’ she mock relents and gives us a wink. 

The rest of the evening we discuss the perfect cake and I tell Johanna and Thresh about the amazing birthday cake Peeta made for Prim’s birthday.

Peeta offers me a ride back to the hotel I’m staying at for the next two nights and it’s the same hotel the anniversary party is at tomorrow. 

‘I promise you the party won’t be as boring as Johanna made it out to be’ Peeta says in the car. Apparently this has been worrying him a bit.

‘I don’t care’ I say smiling. ‘As long as I get to spend some time with you. So you better safe me a dance or two’

‘I’ll safe you all of my dances’ Peeta says smiling adorably. 

I feel my cheeks burn up and my lips turn into a stupid smile. 

When Peeta and I arrive at the hotel, Peeta turns to me as I unbuckle my seatbelt. The air between us suddenly feels loaded, electric, and I feel my pulse quicken. 

‘Good luck tomorrow, at your job interview’ Peeta says and he sounds a little hoarse. 

‘Thank you’ I murmur. I don’t know if it’s the energy surrounding us or the look Peeta gives me, but it results in me licking my lips. 

Peeta’s eyes quickly glance to the movement before his eyes find mine again. He smiles and his cheeks turn pink, which makes me smile. 

‘And thank you for agreeing to be my date for tomorrow’ he adds.

‘Well thank you for asking me’ I say and I slowly get out of the car. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’ I say smiling. 

‘Yes, at 8 in this lobby’ Peeta reminds me, but there’s no need, those details will be engraved in my brain forever.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Thanks again for flying all the way over here for this interview’ Mrs. Paylor says when the interview is over. ‘You are more than qualified and you definitely left a favourable impression’

We get out of our chairs and shake one another’s hand. 

‘Thank you for giving me the chance to do so’ I say smiling when I take back my hand. I get my coat and my purse and Mrs. Paylor walks me to the door.

‘We’ll get back to you at the end of the week’ Mrs. Paylor promises me when we say our goodbyes. 

‘That would be great’ I say. ‘Goodbye’

 

#

 

**Prim today 6:53pm:** _How did your job interview go?_

**Katniss 6:54pm:** _It went really well! (: Can’t know for certain of course if I got it, but I have a good feeling!_

**Prim 6:54pm:** _That’s great! So proud of you! :D_

**Katniss 6:55pm:** _Thank you, I’m really proud of you as well <3 You’ll never guess who I ran into here by the way.._

**Prim 6:56pm:** _Who? Please don’t say Gale…_

**Katniss 6:56pm:** _No, it wasn’t Gale_

**Katniss 6:57pm:** _It was Peeta_

 

Apparently that announcement can’t be discussed further via text, because a second later I get an incoming call from my sister.

‘Hey Prim’ I greet my sister when I answer her call. I put it on speakerphone so I can talk with her and still apply some make up. I want to look my best for tonight, hence the chance I’m taking in blinding myself for fuller eyelashes. ‘How are classes?’

‘Stop with the pleasantries Katniss! Classes are fine, but you ran into Peeta?!’ Prim yells the part about running into Peeta and I regret putting my phone on speakerphone. My ears start to ache.

‘Please stop yelling’ I beg. ‘I’ll answer all your questions if you talk in a normal tone’

‘Deal’ Prim says and I can her the smile in her voice. I’m not able to contain mine either. ‘Where did you guys run into each other? How was it? What did you say? What did he say? Are you guys seeing each other again?’ my sister says in one breath. 

‘Jesus Prim, don’t forget to breathe’ I joke. ‘You want me to make you a documentary or something?’ I laugh over my own joke. 

‘Katniss..’ she whines. 

‘Fine..’ I relent and I tell her everything she wants to know. That he made a surprise visit at Thresh and Johanna’s while I was having dinner there. That we were both happy to see one another again. That we talked with our friends about their upcoming wedding. ‘And I’m seeing him again tonight’ I conclude. 

‘Oh my God Katniss!’ Prim exclaims excitedly. ‘I’m so happy for you. What are you guys going to do?’

‘His company is celebrating an anniversary and he asked me to be his date’ I answer. ‘I’m leaving Seattle tomorrow afternoon so tonight’s the only chance to see each other before I go back home’ 

Prim giggles and I put on some eyeliner. ‘I doubt this will be the last time you’ll see him. Since you’re going on a _date_ with _Peeta_!’ 

Yes, I’m going on a date with Peeta. _At last._

The realisation finally strikes and makes my heart beat wildly and makes me bite my lip. ‘Shit Prim, now you made me nervous!’ I begin to tap the table, but stop when I can’t hear my sister over the noise. 

Prim’s laughing. ‘Don’t be. The guy likes you. _Really_ likes you. It was so obvious when he stayed with us that weekend and when he brought you those delicious cheesebuns at mom’s funeral. I bet he’s even more nervous than you are’

‘You think so?’ I ask with a hopeful tone. The thought of Peeta being nervous too, makes me feel better. It even makes me smile, because he has absolutely no reason to be nervous. I wanted to date Peeta for so long that no matter how the night goes, I’ll be happy. Prim’s words make me believe that maybe he has felt the same during those years, so there isn’t a reason for me as well to be nervous about tonight. 

‘Absolutely’ she answers with certainty. ‘What are you wearing?’

I glance over my shoulder at the dress that is waiting for me on my bed. I bought it for tonight immediately after my interview. ‘A red dress’ I answer matter-of-factly. 

‘You look great in that colour’ Prim compliments me. ‘What kind of shade is it? Bright, burgundy or some kind of fruit?’ 

‘Jeez Prim, how the hell would I know?’ I answer laughingly. Like my sister doesn’t know I have zero knowledge about fashion and colours. ‘It’s a bright red, but not too bright. It’s nice. I’ll send you a picture when I’m finished dressing’ I promise her. 

‘Yes please’ Prim says excited. ‘What kind of shoes are you going to wear?’

‘My black pumps. They were the only ones I brought with me’

‘That will work’ Prim comments. ‘How are you going to do your hair? I swear to God, if you’re keeping your braid in-‘

‘No!’ I interrupt my sister chuckling. ‘I _may_ have gone to a hairdresser this afternoon so it would look nice. It was absolute torture’ I complain. 

Prim laughs. ‘You’re adorable. Getting all dressed up and fabulous for Peeta. Like that guy would stop gawking at you even if you dressed in a plastic bag tonight’

Her comment makes me blush. ‘You really think so?’

Prim assures me again of Peeta’s feelings for me. ‘So stop being insecure and nervous. You’re going to have a great night, I promise’ she adds. We chat a little longer and when we say goodbye she reminds me to send her a picture when I’m all ready to go. 

I get into the dress and admire myself in the floor-length mirror. I really do like the colour on me and the dress shows off my olive toned legs and makes my ass look nice. The dress has long sleeves and an open back, so I don’t have to feel insecure about my cleavage. 

My make-up looks good (as I say so myself) and my hair hangs in loose, shiny waves over my shoulders. 

I snap a picture for Prim and her reply makes me blush. 

**Prim 7:44pm:** _You look hot! I hope you have some nice lingerie under that dress bc Peeta won’t be able to keep his hands to himself ;) ;)_

I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my little sister, so I send her back a joke to relieve me from my uncomfortableness. 

**Katniss 7:45pm:** _No, just some plain granny underwear_

**Prim 7:46pm:** _God.. Just get him drunk and keep the lights out when you get back to your room :p_

**Peeta 7:46pm:** _I know I’m early, but I’m already here. You can keep me waiting as long as you want, but if you’re ready, want to grab a drink?_

**Katniss 7:47pm:** _I’ll be down in a minute (:_

**Katniss 7:48pm:** _Thanks for the advice Little Duck ;) Peeta’s already waiting for me, so I’m going to go now (:_

**Prim 7:48pm:** _He’s early! What cute!! Go get your man big sis! ;)_

When I get out of the elevator, I see Peeta waiting for me in the lobby. His face breaks out into a huge grin and his eyes move over my body. The sensation of Peeta publically checking me out makes me feel warm inside and I haven’t even had a drink yet. 

‘ _Wow_ , Katniss..’ Peeta mumbles and he shakes his head. ‘You look amazing..’ 

I take in his appearance. He’s wearing a black suit with a dark blue tie. The tux hugs him in all the right places and the tie makes his eyes pop. He looks like a present begging to be unwrapped. Unwrapped by _me_. 

I chuckle. ‘You don’t look so bad yourself’ 

Peeta smiles brightly at me. ‘Are you ready?’ 

I place my arm in his and return his smile. ‘I'm ready’ and we both know the entire meaning of my words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter we'll follow the rest of their night! :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :) please let me know if you did! :) xx


	15. Chapter 15

A half hour later Peeta and I are catching up over drinks. He tells me about working for his dad’s company, his cousin Delly and that he picked up painting after not practicing for a while.

I tell him what a disappointment my job in Denver turned out to be and I tell him how my family is doing. That Prim lived in Paris for a year and that my dad and I visited her for a week and that we’re planning on going back in the summer.

‘Prim told me to tell you Hi by the way’ I tell Peeta.

He smiles. ‘Tell her hi back. I’d love to see her again some time, she was so sweet to me when I stayed with you that weekend’

I chuckle. ‘Yes she was very sweet to you. She definitely had a crush on you’ I tell him with a wink.

Peeta laughs and leans over the table a little. ‘So I guess that means that I have both the Everdeen women to my disposal?’ he raises an eyebrow in mock challenge.

‘Get off your high horse Mellark’ I say smiling.

Peeta is about to treat me on one of the smiles that makes a shiver go through my spine, when we get interrupted. ‘Are you Katniss Everdeen?’

I look up to find a curly blonde about our age standing next to our table.

She chuckles. ‘I’m sorry. You probably have no clue who I am, but here I am, interrupting your conversation with Peeta because I just wanted to meet you so badly. He has told me so much about you, it feels I already have known you for years..’

I glance back at Peeta who’s doing one hell of an impression of a tomato, which makes me chuckle. I turn back to the blonde. I put two and two together – her looks and the way she apparently knows a lot about me from Peeta – and ask, ‘Are you Delly?’

She nods excitedly and we shake each other’s hands. ‘I hope he told you some good things too’ I joke.

‘Don’t worry, it was all good, nothing bad’ Delly assures me and she winks at her cousin.

‘Well, now I _do_ worry. I can never live up to a standard like that – I’m the most flawed person I know’ I tell Delly in all good fun and I’m rewarded by chuckles from both blondes.

Delly turns to Peeta. ‘Funny and pretty – good work Peeta’

Now it’s my turn to blush and Peeta smirks at me when he notices.

‘I’ll leave you two lovebirds now’ Delly says with a mischievous smile. ‘The party has already started, so duty calls. I hope to see you there Katniss, I’d love another chat’

‘Me too’ I promise.

‘And have some cake. It is the Mellarks specialty after all!’ Delly says excitedly before she leaves.

‘She seemed great’ I assure Peeta when I see him looking a little nervous.

‘I’m glad you think so’ he says with a relieved smile. ‘She can be a little overwhelming sometimes’

‘You didn’t tell me there was going to be cake, Peeta Mellark’ I mock scold him.

‘You want to get some?’

I laugh over the double meaning of his chosen words, although I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. ‘Yes, I could go for some cake’

 

#

 

‘When was the last time you sang?’ Peeta asks me when we’re dancing on a slow song that’s been provided by the live band.

I take a moment to think. ‘It has been a while’ I admit. ‘It used to be something of the four of us and since we’re no longer complete, it just feels wrong. Besides, my mom was our biggest fan, so without her begging for a song, there hasn’t been a reason to sing anymore..’

Peeta nods. ‘She was indeed your biggest fan Katniss, but not your _only_ fan. There’s always a reason for a song, so don’t let your voice go to waste’

I feel my cheeks warm up due to his compliments. ‘I won’t’ I whisper.

Our arms tighten around one another and I get lost in his sparkling blue eyes – again. It’s ridiculous how often that happens and yet, I hope I get to the do it a million more times.

His eyes break our eye contact and fleet to someone behind me. ‘My dad is making his way over to us’ he says with a nervous smile. ‘He wants to meet you, if that’s okay?’

‘Well you met mine multiple times, so it only seems fair I _finally_ get to meet yours’ I assure him.

Peeta smiles at me like I couldn’t have made him happier.

We stop dancing and I turn around to introduce myself to Mr. Mellark and congratulate him with the anniversary of his company.

He seems like a great man. Very friendly and warm and he tells me a couple of times how happy he is that I’m here. I’m not surprised to see that he looks so much like Peeta. Not only in looks, but also in their manners, the way they laugh, the way they move their hands while they talk. It’s amazing.

‘Did you have a piece of cake?’ Mr. Mellark asks me before he goes.

‘I did. It honestly was the best cake I ever had’ I say smiling.

‘You’re welcome to take a second piece. And a third. I don’t want you starving here – I don’t want this to be the only time we meet’ he says with a warm smile and I chuckle.

Mr. Mellark squeezes his son’s shoulder in a loving way before he excuses himself to go mingle some more.

‘Thank you for introducing me to your dad’ I say to Peeta. ‘He seems like an amazing man’

‘He is. He’s the best’ Peeta agrees in a soft tone and a fond look in his eyes. ‘Do you want to get that second piece of cake?’

‘Definitely’ I answer and we make our way off the dancefloor. ‘So how many people are here that are dying to meet me?’ I ask in a playful tone.

Peeta chuckles and nervously scratches the back of his neck. ‘I promise you that you met them both. But just in advance, we are avoiding my friend Finnick Odair’

We laugh until Peeta notices one of the waitresses and waves her over for a couple of glasses champagne. It apparently is a very clumsy girl, because she trips over her own feet in her way over to us and the remaining champagne flutes on her tray escape her and fly through the sky.

Peeta is sweet enough to try to shield me from the upcoming disaster, but it’s to no avail – the gold liquid makes its way over to me and drenches me completely.

‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry’ the girl cries.

‘It’s okay. It can happen’ I tell the girl while I try to dry my dress with my hands. It’s obviously futile and the dress is probably ruined, but there are worse things in the world. I am thankful however, that I’m not wearing a white dress.

‘It’s not a party until something breaks’ Peeta says smiling and then he kneels down to help the girl clean up the mess.

‘No, please sir. Let me do it’ the girl says, stopping Peeta from helping her.

Peeta nods and stands up again. ‘Let’s get you cleaned up’ he tells me.

My dress sticks uncomfortably to my skin and has a huge stain on it. ‘Probably a good idea. Luckily I have a room here’ I say smiling. Not even an accident like this is going to ruin my night or mood.

Peeta puts his hand on my lower back and together we leave the room and its people behind us.

Peeta’s touch makes something inside me wake up and scream for more. A hunger goes through my veins and my sex aches to be touched. The skin that’s being touched by him buzzes and my heart speeds up in anticipation of more, more, more. My hands tremble with the need to touch him and my mouth waters.

_All of that because of his fingertips touches my bare back. Sweet Lord.._

The elevator ride is silent and loaded. The air between us is electric. I can sense that Peeta can feel what I can feel – we’re at a breaking point.

We walk in silence to my room and right when I’m about to open the door, Peeta says in a hoarse voice, ‘I can wait for you outside if you’d like?’

I turn to him and say in a whisper that I wouldn’t like that at all, before I stand on my toes and envelope his lips in mine. It takes Peeta a moment to respond, but when he does it’s with much enthusiasm and the kiss soon becomes heated.

His strong arms pull me in close and press me against his hard form. I lock my arms around his neck and finally let my hands travel through his blond curls. _So soft.._ Now I can finally cross that off my bucket list..

Peeta presses me against the door and his mouth travels over my neck leaving warm kisses that make my heart go insane.

I use the opportunity of Peeta working my neck to turn my head so I can successfully open my door and when it opens behind me, I step back and drag Peeta into the room with me. He shuts the door with his foot and his lips find their way back to mine.

We’re back to our hot make out session and I guide us to my bed. I can feel the mattress with my legs and when we come up for air, I sit down and pull him on top on me with his collar.

His lips are back on mine and his hands drive me insane while they travel over my body.

Suddenly he pulls back and breaks our kiss. ‘Stop’ he breathes. ‘Stop’

_Wait.. what?!_

It’s like a bucket of ice water being dropped over me and mortification runs through my veins. _What the hell? Why does he want to stop? Doesn’t he want to do this? Did I misread the signs?_

‘Before we.. before we continue this..’ Peeta starts and he looks a little scared, ‘I need to know what this is. Is this going to be a one-time thing or is this going to be the start of something?’

‘Before we.. before we continue this..’ Peeta starts and he looks a little scared, ‘I need to know what this is. Is this going to be a one-time thing or is this going to be the start of something?’

 _Thank God._ He does want this as badly as I do. ‘This is going to be the start of something new Peeta’ I whisper with a relieved smile.

My answer makes him copy my facial expression and then we are back at making out, but it’s different now. Now that we’re aware of the fact that we are both on the same page, our movements are slower, gentler. They are still feed with passion and need, but it’s less _fucking_ and more _love_.

We undress each other and when there are no more barriers between us anymore, we take our time taking the other in.

‘God you’re going to be the death of me Katniss’ Peeta says with dark eyes filled with hunger.

‘What a way to go’ I whisper while my eyes travel over his abs and my fingers trace his hard muscles.

And then there is no more talking for a long time. Only a lot of moaning, panting, begging and screaming the other’s name in ecstasy. It’s everything that I expected it to be, everything I wanted it to be. It’s consuming (if the hotel would’ve burned to the ground, I wouldn’t have noticed), it’s wonderful (I’m crashing down from highs I’ve never reached) and there’s just so much affection – caresses, kisses, whispers.

When Peeta and I are back in the here and now, I lay in his arms and he holds me tight.

‘That was long overdue’ he whispers and he kisses my brow.

I smile. ‘It was’ I whisper and then the night takes us away to a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The morning brings laughter, kisses, a nice shared shower and room service.

I have to check out of my hotel room at 10am and my plane leaves at 3pm, so we only have a few hours left together and that knowledge makes me a little sad. I just got Peeta back and now I have to leave him – and us – again..

There’s no denying this fact and neither of us do. We both very happily agree to do the long distance thing. If I don’t get the job at Paylor’s company, I’ll just look for something else in Seattle because I know that’s where I want to be. My future is here, with Peeta.

‘When did you know?’ I ask when we are having breakfast in bed. I can’t contain my curiosity any longer. ‘That you _liked_ me?’

Peeta smiles while he thinks back. ‘I liked you the very moment I met you’

‘Really?’ I ask surprised. I had no idea he already like me then.

‘Really’ Peeta assures me. ‘When we became friends I really started falling for you.. And I knew there was no going back when I heard you sing with your father..’

I smile. ‘Well I definitely didn’t like you when we first met’

Peeta chuckles and then the look in his eyes turn shy. ‘When for you?’ he asks in a soft tone.

‘A couple of weeks later’ I tell him. ‘We went to see that James Bond film at the Film Department and I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if it was a date. But I thought you were into Glimmer and when you kissed her at the party where we almost kissed, I got my confirmation..’

‘But I didn’t kiss her’ Peeta corrects me. ‘She kissed me and I stopped her and when I went to find you, I found you with Gale’

‘Really?’ I ask surprised. ‘So if I had seen you stopping her and we would’ve talked instead of jumping to conclusions, we could’ve been doing this for the past three years?’

Peeta smirks. ‘Well I guess better late than never’

I agree with him. ‘We have a lot of catching up to do’

Our lips find each other again and we fool around for a bit. Our breakfast is cold when we pull away from one another, unlike our bodies.

 

#

 

Peeta and I say goodbye to one another at the airport with some inappropriate PDA.

‘I’m going to miss you so much’ I whisper against his lips between kisses.

‘Me too..’ Peeta says. ‘And I’m definitely going to miss this’ he whispers in my ear before he sucks on my earlobe.

I can’t help the moan that escapes me and the sudden sound makes me realise where we are. ‘Stop it’ I giggle – yes, I actually _giggle_ , but I don’t bother with being embarrassed.

‘I don’t want to be that couple. That disgustingly over-PDA-ing couple that make a scene when saying goodbye’

‘Well I just can’t help myself’ Peeta says smiling. ‘I’m just disgustingly in love with you’

I roll my eyes, but the effect is lost due to my rosy cheeks and the sweet smile on my lips and I give Peeta one final kiss. ‘I’m disgustingly in love with you too’ I say before I leave.

 

#

 

Five hours later I’m back at my dad’s place.

I tell my father how it was in Seattle – how seeing Johanna and Thresh was, how the job interview went and that I ran into Peeta.

He asks me some things about Peeta and I can’t keep to myself that we’re now dating. I’m just _that_ happy..

My dad is really happy for us as well and tells me how glad my mom would’ve been with me dating Peeta and how much she liked him.

I fall asleep with a smile on my lips. It was a good day.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day is even better.

At 3 o’clock someone rings our doorbell and when I open it, I find a delivery guy holding a gorgeous bouquet of 20 roses for me. Ten red ones and ten orange ones.  


_**Because I couldn’t give you flowers when I picked you up for our date and I really wanted to.** _  
_**I miss you already.** _  
**Love, Peeta.**  


My grin is so wide it hurts. What on earth did I do to deserve someone as perfect as Peeta? I may have spoken to him over the phone yesterday to tell him I arrived safely and how happy my dad is that we’re dating and we may have texted throughout the day, but this gesture makes me miss him so much it aches.

 **Katniss today 3:23pm:** _Peeta you are ridiculous! You didn’t have to do this at all!_

 **Peeta 3:25pm:** _I wanted to._

 **Peeta 3:25pm:** _Besides it’s for selfish reasons only – I can’t have you forget me ;)_

I roll my eyes and chuckle while my thumbs type a reply back.

 **Katniss 3:26pm:** _You never have to worry about that Peeta. And the flowers are gorgeous, thank you so much <3_

 

#

 

An hour later I get a call from Mrs. Paylor with the job offer. I immediately accept and hear that I can start next week. My father crushes me in a celebratory hug and tells me how proud he is of me. When he searches for available apartments in Seattle on the internet, I text Peeta, Prim and Johanna the good news.

 **Katniss today 4:57pm:** _I’M MOVING TO SEATTLE!! I GOT THE JOB!!! :D_

I’m unable of getting the grin off my face until Peeta eats me out a couple of days later and I’m too busy begging for more under his teasing mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter to go and then this story is officaly finished! Hope you all liked this AU and this chapter! :)
> 
> Don't forget to check out the latest chapter of The Royals! :) xx


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys and girls, the last chapter of "Missed Opportunities and Wrong Decisions"! :")
> 
> I'd like to dedicate this last chapter to all of you who have left kudos, a comment or have just read this fic! :-* I hope you'll enjoy this last chapter :)

**(6 months later)**

 

Life in Seattle for the past 6 months had been amazing. Peeta and I were going steady and enjoying an amazing relationship together in a life filled with great jobs, friends and family. 

We even live together in Peeta’s – now our – apartment. I moved in immediately when I moved to Seattle, because I didn’t have an apartment yet, but I did have a job. 

It was supposed to be for two weeks tops so I could get an apartment, but two weeks became two months and when I mentioned this to Peeta, he asked me to stay for good.

‘I like having you here’ he admitted. ‘I finally don’t mind going back home from work. You made this apartment feel like a home to me’

I’m sure he said it only because he knows the effect his words have on me, because a second later I was straddling his lap and kissing him senseless. 

But I got his message and I never left. Instead I unpacked all of my stuff that was still in boxes for good.

It was then that I called Gale. His ex-girlfriend had just officially moved in with his ex-best friend and I believed he deserved to know – from me. 

‘Hey Gale’ I said when he picked up and I was quiet for a second. ‘It’s Katniss’

‘Katniss?’ Gale asked surprised, but not unfriendly or hostile. 

‘I’m sorry – is this a good time or..’ I trailed off.

‘No, I have a minute. How’ve you been?’ he asked.

‘I’ve been great. Really great’ I answered. We told one another about our jobs and how our families were doing before I told him about Peeta. ‘And I’ve been seeing someone’

‘Really?’ Gale asked. ‘That’s great Katniss’ he said kindly.

‘It’s Peeta’ I finally said and it felt like a wait lifted off my shoulders. It didn’t matter how he felt about it, I only wanted him to know. I didn’t want to be that girl who started dating an old friend of her ex and let him find out on his own after a long period. It didn’t seem fair to me.

Gale was silent for a moment. ‘Can’t say I’m surprised. I knew he liked you – that’s why Peeta and I fell out’

‘Yes, he told me’ I said. Peeta told me that he accidently had said my name during sex with Glimmer and this had both infuriated Glimmer and Gale. I didn’t blame them both about being mad and I laughed over my boyfriend’s idiocy. Then I lovingly kissed Peeta’s embarrassment away. 

‘It’s okay Katniss. I’ve been seeing someone as well and she makes me really happy. Her name is Leevy Henderson and we’ve been going out for a month or so’ Gale told  
me. ‘You were right – you and I weren’t happy together, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy with someone else’

‘I’m glad you feel that way too’ I said. I was relieved because I still wished Gale the best and I now I knew he felt the same towards me. He wasn’t upset with me for dating Peeta and that brought me some peace. My guilt over breaking us up disappeared. Gale was doing well without me and he was happy. 

‘Don’t be a stranger Katniss’ Gale said before we hung up. 

 

* * *

 

 

That summer Johanna Mason became Johanna Johnson when she married Thresh in a beautiful ceremony in a park. To everyone’s surprise, she wore white. Not to everyone’s surprise, the skirt only came to her knees. She looked beautiful and Thresh’s face lit up when she walked down the aisle. 

As planned my dad, Prim and I went to Paris, but our party of three became a party of four when my father suggested that Peeta should come with us. My dad is very fond of Peeta and he liked the idea of not being the only man in our party. At least that’s what he claimed – he probably knew how much I would miss my boyfriend and that I’d be calling, texting and skyping him the entire day, instead of enjoying the city and the company of my family. 

Yes, I begrudgingly admit that Peeta turned me into that girl.

I spend ten days with the three people I love the most in the city of love. It was the best holiday of my life. 

When Halloween came around, it was finally Peeta and my chance to shine in a couple costume. We went to Thresh and Jo’s party as two sexy vampires, just for the hell of it, and we had a great time. 

In November we celebrated Peeta’s 25th birthday with laser tag followed with dinner at a Greek restaurant with Johanna and Thresh. Nothing fancy or big, but perfect for us. 

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately for me, fall became winter – my least favourite season. It’s cold, wet and dark – I hate it and it affected my mood a great deal. My mood turned even more sour when I sprained my ankle on my way home from work, because I slipped on ice and fell.

‘Can you _please_ turn down your _horrible_ music?’ I groan when Peeta and I are doing the dishes on a cold December night. 

Peeta chuckles. ‘It’s my turn to choose babe. We played your music yesterday and again tomorrow’

‘It’s giving me a headache!’ I snap. I can feel Peeta look questionably at me for a moment, but I refuse to remove my eyes from the filthy dishes in my hands and keep cleaning them with much enthusiasm. A few seconds pass and then Peeta turns off his music completely. 

We continue our chore in an uncomfortable silence and it even gets worse when Peeta accidently drops a plate and it breaks in multiple pieces on the floor. 

‘Peeta what the hell?’ I glare at him. ‘That was one of a set, we might as well throw them all on the floor now!’

‘Jesus Katniss, relax’ Peeta says annoyed. ‘It’s just a plate. We’ll buy a new one’

We clean up the broken plate and finish the rest of the dishes. ‘You want to watch a movie or something?’ Peeta asks, sounding somewhat hopeful. 

I let out a heavy sigh. ‘No, I’m going to take a shower’ I say annoyed. 

‘Need some help washing your back?’

I’m already limping out of our kitchen before he finishes his question. ‘No’ 

The warm water washes my annoyance away and replaces it with guilt. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately. It’s like I keep trying to find a fight with Peeta – I keep poking the sleeping bear on purpose. I’m just so annoyed all the time.. It has nothing to do with Peeta, he’s absolutely wonderful. 

When I sprained my ankle a week ago and the doctor ordered me to stay in bed for two days, he made me my favourite food, gave me massages, read to me from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and later at night used his tongue to make me feel _really_ good. 

So, no it’s not Peeta’s fault and it wasn’t the cashier’s fault either but even she got a mouthful when she asked for my ID (‘Jesus Christ, I’m 24! I can’t possibly look like a 20 year old college bimbo!’). I’ve just been in an extraordinary bad mood for the last couple of weeks and I can’t figure out why.

Yes, it’s winter. Yes, I sprained my ankle and it still hurts like hell. Yes, the anniversary of my mom’s passing is coming up again. But still..

I get out the shower and I decide to go to bed. I’m exhausted and I have a headache, so I’m sure I’ll be horrible company for Peeta. The guy doesn’t deserve more of my bad attitude..

In bed I grab ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and read a couple of chapters before I decide to put it away. The book used to have a magical effect on me, but the thought that my mother, who I’m still missing so badly, and Peeta, who I feel so very guilty towards, both have read this book to me to make me feel better, make me feel sad now. 

I turn off the lights and try to sleep.

When Peeta joins me a couple of hours later, he doesn’t spoon with me like he always does and I know it means that he’s upset with me. I turn over and lay my head on his chest. The feeling of his body against mine and his hand on my lower back make liquid desire run through my veins.

I kiss his jaw and trail up to his lips. It’s not enough though, it’s only making me want more, so I roll on top of him.

‘Katniss can we ta-’ Peeta says between kisses, but he cuts himself off with a moan when my hips roll over his dick. 

My sex screams to be touched, so I pull Peeta’s boxers over his hips and to my utter joy his penis springs free. He’s already hot and hard as steel. I remove my panties like there’s no tomorrow and I can feel that my sex is warm, wet and waiting eagerly. 

When I’m riding Peeta as fast and hard as I can, thoughts about talking have escaped him. 

‘ _Oh_ Peeta’ I moan. ‘I fucking love your cock and I love fucking it’ I say between loud cries of pleasure and I quicken my tempo. 

Peeta moans loudly. ‘ _Ah_ , Katniss, _fuck_. Don’t stop, don’t stop’ he begs me. 

When we both have reached our climaxes, I’m out of breath and fall asleep in Peeta’s arms.

 

* * *

 

 

We celebrate our first Christmas as a couple together and it’s perfect. We agreed that we’ll give each other one gift and nothing extravagant, but because I’ve been such a brat to him lately, I get him something really small that has to be put in something big.

‘Merry Christmas babe’ Peeta says and he hands me a gift that could either be a large photograph or a thin book. I’m very curious.

‘Thank you’ I say smiling and I give him a peck on his lips before I open my present.

When I open it, I get tears in my eyes. It’s neither a photograph or a book – it’s a small painting painted by Peeta himself of me as a young girl, dressed as Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz’. It’s gorgeous and the perfect gift for me. 

‘I love it’ I whisper and I wipe a tear from my cheek. I give him another kiss, longer and deeper this time, to express my gratitude. 

His gift is in a bag that’s been put in a box with a fancy bow wrapped around it and when he gently pulls the bag out and sees what it is, his face lights up with a big grin. ‘You got me a fish!’ he yells excited, disbelieving and surprised. His reaction is adorable. _He_ is adorable.

‘I got you _two_ fish’ I correct him with a playful smile. ‘A Nemo and a Dory’

‘O my God, O my God, I can’t believe it!’ he says excitedly still proudly holding the bag in the air and I chuckle. ‘You’re the best! I love you’

Now it’s my turn to receive a kiss and he puts in so much passion, that I’m blushing when he pulls away.

‘I also got you a fish tank and everything else you need to become the best fish owner ever’ I tell him. 

Peeta gives me such a loving look that I can feel myself well up. ‘Best’ he says before he kisses me. ‘Christmas’ a second kiss follows. ‘Ever’ and he seals his words with a third kiss. 

‘Really?’ I ask smiling.

‘Really’ Peeta assures me. ‘I get to celebrate it with my dream girl who just made one of my childhood dreams come true. I love you Katniss’

‘I love you too Peeta’ 

 

* * *

 

 

‘Happy New Year Prim’ I say to my sister when she picks up her cell. It’s still morning, but I wanted to be the first one who wishes her the best for the upcoming year. I also needed an excuse to not be around Peeta for a while – we’ve been fighting again. Or what’s more accurate, I’ve been letting my temper get the best of me and we quarrelled over something stupid.

Prim is quiet for a second. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘What do you mean?’ I ask, but I’m not surprised she thinks something is up. She’s my sister and knows me better than anyone else and I sound tired, sad and down..

Prim sighs and I can practically feel her rolling her eyes at me. ‘What’s wrong Katniss?’ she asks again.

‘Peeta and I had a fight’ I confess. ‘It’s been happening a lot recently..’

‘About what?’ Prim sounds worried.

‘I don’t know, unimportant stuff. Today we fought about olives..’

‘ _Olives_?’ Prim askes confused.

‘Olives’ I repeat and I feel like an idiot. ‘He bought the wrong ones at the store and I lost it. I _specifically_ asked for the garlic ones and he bought me the basil kind.. I started a fight with him about it and he looked at me like I was crazy and then I threw the olives at his chest’

Prim chuckles. ‘Jesus Katniss, poor Peeta..’

‘I know.. I feel horrible now. He already promised me to go to the store to get the garlic ones..’

‘So you only fight about the little things, not the big things?’ Prim asks.

‘Like what?’ I ask.

‘Like..’ she needs a second to think. ‘Marriage, children, which family to spend the holidays at. Those things’

‘Well we haven’t really had those marriage and children conversations yet, but we both know we want that with the other’ I answer.

‘So you’re not unhappy with Peeta?’ Prim asks in a serious tone. ‘You know dad and I love him, but if you’re unhappy with him, you can’t stay with him for us..’

‘No, I’m absolutely not unhappy with him!’ I immediately object. ‘I’ve never loved anyone like I love Peeta. I love him _so_ much, Prim..’ I’m silent for a moment and add in a soft tone ‘It would kill me if he ended things..’ I sniff back some tears. 

‘So you are happy with him?’ Prim asks for confirmation.

‘I’ve never been happier Little Duck. It’s not Peeta, honestly, I’ve just been really on edge lately..’ I say. ‘Probably because of winter. That just ruins my mood..’

‘Hmmm..’ Prim says vague. 

‘What?’ I ask and I yawn loudly. 

‘Nothing’ Prim replies. ‘What are you and Peeta doing tonight?’

‘We’re going to Johanna and Thresh’s. They’re throwing a little get together’ I answer.

‘Sounds fun’ Prim says and I can hear the smile in her voice.

‘It will be if I can get through the night. I’m going to hang up now Prim, I need to take a nap. I’m worn out. And a relaxing shower, my muscles ache’ I yawn again.

‘Have fun tonight Katniss, but not too much fun otherwise you’ll be rocking a hangover in the plane tomorrow’

I chuckle. ‘Thanks for the tip Little Duck. I’ll see you tomorrow at dad’s’

‘Happy New Year Katniss’

 

* * *

 

 

‘Oh my God Peeta, are you fucking serious?’ I hiss. ‘You forgot the _sandwiches_?!’

We’re at the airport and in a couple of hours our plane leaves that will take us to my dad. We didn’t spend Christmas with him and we spend Thanksgiving with Peeta’s dad, so we decided to make a short trip to him now instead. And since my mom’s death anniversary is approaching I know he can use the company of his children. 

All of that and a lack of sleep because of last night’s celebration combined with hunger is making me want to punch and kick something multiple times. After that I’d like to eat some bacon and a donut and fall asleep and use Peeta as my pillow. 

‘Katniss, you’re making a scene!’ Peeta hisses while discreetly looking around us. ‘What has gotten into you lately?’ he glares at me, but I can see the hurt in his eyes that he’s trying to conceal. 

I avert my gaze and stubbornly look down at my shoes. 

‘I’ll get us some food..’ he whispers before he leaves me with the task of looking after our luggage. 

 

#

 

In the plane I fall asleep on Peeta’s shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. Everything feels normal again. 

 

#

 

My dad picks us up and he and Peeta chat away in the car while I supress a sudden nausea. 

‘Since when do you get car sick?’ Peeta asks and he kindly gives me a plastic bag in case I need to throw up.

‘Jesus Peeta, I don’t know!’ I snap. 

An awkward silence fills the car and I can see my dad raise an eyebrow at me in the rear view mirror. 

‘Sorry’ I mumble. 

My dad quickly changes the subject by asking how Peeta’s family is doing and to my surprise he asks me if I want to sing again that weekend.

‘Of course’ I say surprised. I desperately want to look at Peeta to see his reaction, but my embarrassment over my little outburst from a minute ago stops me.

When we get to the house, we’re greeted by Prim. She decided to take an extra week off from college because we haven’t seen each other in ages and because of my mom’s anniversary. 

I couldn’t be more happy to be able to hug her again. I miss my sister so much, I’m already trying to convince her to move to Seattle when she’s graduated Princeton. 

‘Peeta, it’s so good to see you again’ she says with a kind smile when she lets me go. ‘Why don’t you go to Katniss’ old room and take a shower or something? Relax a little after your travels’

Peeta gives her a questioning look. ‘Sure..’ he says unsure.

‘I actually need to talk to you for a minute Katniss’ Prim says smiling when she turns back to me. 

‘Okay..’ I mutter confused, before she drags me to her room. 

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask when she shuts her door behind us.

Prim doesn’t answer me, but walks to her purse that’s lying on her bed and gets a pink box out of it. A pregnancy test, to be correct. 

I inhale sharply. ‘You’re pregnant?!’ I whisper loudly. A lot of emotion go through me. Panic, anger, some happiness, but mostly worry. 

‘No’ Prim says and she hands me the stick. ‘But I think _you_ are’

‘What?’ I yell. ‘Prim, I’m _not_ pregnant’

‘Did you do a test?’ she asks me.

‘No..’

‘Then take this one’

‘Why do you think I’m pregnant?’ I ask, but I’m already doubting my certainty about not being knocked up. 

‘Well, you told me you were insanely moody the last couple of weeks, that you were tired and your body ached and you texted me a couple of times complaining you were catching “The Christmas Flu”’ Prim uses air quotes for the last three words. ‘That’s not a thing’. 

‘It totally is’ I object in the hope I can convince her (me). But she’s right. Next to those symptoms I’ve also been hungry for a lot of food and, well, _physical contact_.

‘Take the test’ Prim says looking unimpressed. 

We move to her bathroom and after a couple of glasses of water, I pee on the stick.

Three excruciating minutes later, I see the thickest, bluest line I’ve ever seen and I feel like hyperventilating. 

‘I think I’m going to faint’ I wine overdramatically and Prim laughs.

‘You’re fine’ she wraps her arms around me. ‘Congrats _mommy_ ’ she chuckles. 

I groan. ‘Don’t call me that’ 

I hear Prim sniff and when I get my face out of my hands, I see her smiling and her eyes are filled with happy tears. ‘I’m so happy for you guys Katniss’ she wipes a tear off her cheek. ‘Are you happy?’ 

Now that my initial shock has left me, I start to feel happy. Really happy. And relieved – I finally know why I’ve been acting so awful. I should’ve known.. ‘I am’ I say smiling.

‘I’m going to be an auntie!’ she says grinning.

‘And I’m going to be a mother. Holy cow..’ we both chuckle.

 

#

 

I wanted to tell Peeta immediately, but my dad called us down for dinner and he was already waiting at the dinner table when Prim and I got downstairs. Peeta was looking fine as hell, I might add. 

Peeta’s wearing a nice fitting blue shirt that makes his eyes pop and gives me a good opportunity to gawk at his lower arms. His hair is still damp from his shower and he hasn’t shaved this morning, so he’s rocking a stubble. I want to lick and eat him and I want him to eat _me_. 

He’s got me all wound up without even doing a thing and he doesn’t even know it. 

So dinner is uncomfortable as hell for me. 

It gets even worse when Peeta puts his hand on my thigh and starts stroking my leg with his thumb. His ministrations shoot straight to my clit and I have to bite my tongue not to whimper. I need to end his torture. 

I grab his hand with mine and carefully place it back on his own leg. I see him tensing up because I stopped his caresses. I can only imagine what he’s thinking and it makes me feel guilty. If only he knew the real reason why his touch is making me lose my mind.. 

A couple of minutes pass before I excuse myself. I’m too riled up to participate in a conversation about Prim’s classes and my dad’s shooting club. ‘I’m sorry guys, I don’t feel so good. I’m going upstairs for a bit’

My dad looks concerned, Peeta worried and hurt and Prim is trying to keep a straight face. ‘Okay, well if you need anything, you know where to find us’ she says smiling. 

I sit on my bed for only a second before Peeta walks in. I’m relived he’s here because this is the perfect moment to tell him the news.

‘We need to talk’ I mean to make my words sound light and relaxed, but that’s not how Peeta takes them. 

His grip tightens around my doorknob and his lips turn into a firm, thin line. ‘You really want to do this _now_? _Here_?’

‘Why wouldn’t I?’ I ask confused.

‘I don’t know Katniss!’ Peeta says upset. ‘Maybe because I can’t really go anywhere else anymore tonight? Maybe because it’s not really a good time to do this now with your mom’s passing and with your dad needing some support and company right now?’ I can see tears start to form in his eyes. ‘And we haven’t even talked about it. Don’t I get a say in things? Maybe we can work things out! I really want to try, okay? I’m sure that whatever it is, we can get over it. I can change, if that’s the problem. Or at least I could try. I _want_ to try..’

‘What?’ I ask confused after getting that word vomit all over me. 

‘I know you’ve been unhappy lately-‘

‘ _What_?’ I ask even more surprised, but he ignores my interruption and continues. 

‘and with _me_ , but I want to talk things through before we end things. You’re _it_ for me Katniss’ 

I just look at him with saucers for eyes and a gaping mouth. _End things?!_ ‘Okay..’ I mumble, too surprised to say more. Why the hell would I want to end things? 

Peeta nods. ‘Good..’ he whispers.

‘ _Wait_.. What?’ I shake my head. ‘I don’t want to-‘

‘Please Katniss’ Peeta interrupts me pleadingly. 

‘-end things’ I finish. 

Peeta sucks in a sharp breath. ‘You don’t?’ he whispers.

‘No, Peeta. I wanted to tell you now that I’m pregnant’

‘Oh Thank God..’ Peeta says and he gets a relieved smile on his face. He nods. ‘So no breaking up?’ he asks for confirmation, but still smiling relieved.

I look at him for a second. I don’t think it has gotten through to him yet what I said. I get up from my bed and take his face in my hands. ‘Peeta?’

‘Hmmm?’ he utters.

‘I’m’ I say, still looking intently at him to make sure he’s following. ‘pregnant’ I finish and I point at my belly. 

His eyes drop to my stomach and shoot up again to my eyes. ‘You’re pregnant?!’ he asks disbelieving, it finally dawned on him.

‘Yes’ I answer smiling, glad the air is cleared and he has received my words.

‘We’re going to have a baby?’ he grins excitedly. 

‘Yes’

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in tightly. 

‘Are you happy?’ I ask. I know he is, but I want to hear him say it.

‘Deliriously’ he says in my hair. ‘And relieved you don’t want to end things’ 

‘Sorry I gave you that impression..’ I say in his neck and I breath in his familiar and comforting scent.

Peeta sighs. ‘You being pregnant explains a lot..’

I chuckle. ‘It really does..’

‘Are you happy?’ he asks me. 

‘Deliriously’ I answer smiling. 

 

#

 

‘My dad is going to be so happy’ Peeta whispers later at night. 

We’re cuddling in bed and I have my ear on his chest. The loud, rhythmic beating of his heart is lulling me in a peaceful slumber. 

‘Mine is too’ I whisper back. ‘Prim has already decided she’s going to be the best aunt in the world’

‘When do you think we made it?’ Peeta asks after a moment.

I chuckle. ‘How on earth did your mind go there?’

‘I’m a _guy_ Katniss’ Peeta answers like it’s the most obvious thing ever. 

‘Probably that one time you dragged me into that alley for a quickie after your birthday dinner with Thresh and Jo’ I smile thinking of the fond memory. 

Peeta sighs. ‘I couldn’t help myself babe. You just looked so _hot_ in that laser tag uniform shooting everyone down’ he jokes and he kisses my brow. 

I snort. ‘You’re ridiculous’ 

‘You love me tough’

‘God help me, but I do’ I say chuckling. 

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of weeks later Peeta and I find out we’re having a baby girl. 

We decide on a name quickly, but keep the sex and the names to ourselves. We want to keep it a surprise for our family and friends and the rest of the world. 

Dorothy Tessa Mellark.

Dorothy after my obsession with ‘The Wizard of Oz’ – I always wanted to name my daughter after the main protagonist. Tessa is after my mom. 

Peeta and I are watching ‘The Voice’ in our living room and he’s rubbing my feet after a long day at work. 

‘This baby better have your singing voice or else she’s going to be a massive disappointment’ Peeta jokes. 

I kick his hand playfully. ‘If she sings like you and paints like you, I’ll be happy as well’

Peeta smiles. ‘Honestly it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care what she’ll do or how talented she is, I already love our girl to the moon and back’

I smile. ‘But she’s going to be perfect. I can feel it’ I stroke my rounded belly. 

‘Just like her mother’ Peeta winks at me fondly.

‘And her father’ I add smiling. 

I lean in and give my fiancé a kiss.

 

 

** The End. **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap on this story, how bittersweet! :*) Please share your thought/feels, I love to know what you were thinking! :)
> 
> Oh, and when did you realise K was pregnant? Or wasn't it much of a surprise? And what did you think of the name? :) 
> 
> Hope to see all of you at my other stories! :-* xx


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